Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

Parties, milestone event, gossip.

so in short, nothing. If someone wants to invite me to an event or something important happens in a friend's/family member's life-they know where I am. I figure if I am not aware of something, wasn't intended for me to know.

[Anonymous]

PP, you'd be wrong. There are several close friends who aren't on FB that miss milestone events from my life, or "come over this evening for a drink" type of invites. I just don't think to send a mass email or make calls in addition to a FB conversation.

[Anonymous]

I love passive aggressive posts. My SIL and her family came for a visit. She was shocked that I allowed my child to eat a little candy after dinner. Later that evening she posted a link about tooth decay. Then she posted a link about refined sugar and how it causes autism. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Group of people I used to be a part of five years ago. One of them posted a status that said "_______ reunion" with the blank being the name of our organization.

Yeah, guess who wasn't invited to that. Feels pretty crappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love passive aggressive posts. My SIL and her family came for a visit. She was shocked that I allowed my child to eat a little candy after dinner. Later that evening she posted a link about tooth decay. Then she posted a link about refined sugar and how it causes autism. Whatever.

That shit pisses me off too.

[Anonymous]

I recently went on a European tour with contiki. I met two of the girls online before the trip, and we started hanging out as a trio. But they happened to be rooming together (the tour group made room assignments) so they became much closer as the tour went on, and sat together on the bus rides through Europe and would often run off without me. It hurt. I know they liked me because they would always ask me to hang out with them, but I was always the odd man out at the same time. I've done lots of tours with contiki and everyone usually hangs out together. But by te time the girls started excluding me, other people on the tour had already found their 'groups' so I just floated between people. It was kind of lonely. A few months after the tour these girls went to costa rica together and I had to see that in the newsfeed. It stung. They also just got back from another trip to Europe.

Instead of feeling sad, I went on another trip with contiki and met all kinds of new friends!! Since then my new group and I have been on 3 trips together,and those girls don't bother me as much anymore. My new friends are more fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

Parties, milestone event, gossip.

so in short, nothing. If someone wants to invite me to an event or something important happens in a friend's/family member's life-they know where I am. I figure if I am not aware of something, wasn't intended for me to know.

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this happens to me too, but slightly less so as I've gotten older. I don't care as much and have more self confidence I guess. But today I discovered that an old coworker from college had deleted a comment that I made on a picture she tagged me in. There were a few other comments, but mine was the only one that got deleted. It wasn't a negative or outrageous comment or anything. I already felt a bit left out of the group in the picture, and that just kind of cemented it.

[Anonymous]

This thread is 2 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing is that DCUM is a much harsher place to hang out than Facebook. DCUM has thickened my skin.

+1

Also, I realized recently that FB is so carefully curated by some people that what you see is often "reality tv" rather than reality. A friend's posts about the engagement party her future DIL threw for her didn't mention that none of her family attended because the groom is Catholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I started a small business, I was a little hurt (and fully aware that I shouldn't be) that so few of my FB friends shared information about the business with their friends. It would have been so easy for them and so beneficial for me if they had just shared a link to one of the articles I posted. Or even just "liked" the business's page.

And then I found myself identifying individuals who really *should* have done these things-- people who are true friends, live in DC, are active on FB otherwise. Feels like a snub when they "like" the Daily Show, but not their friend's store. Especially when they knew how hard I'd been working to make it happen, and how every little bit counts in this economy.

This happened to my DH. He "liked" all the stupid crap his Facebook friends were in or selling, even if he didn't agree or care. One acquaintance was in an off broadway show that we went to see. He liked it, we spent money on a babysitter to see her awful production, and she couldn't even "like" the book he wrote when he specifically asked her to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:25 again. I was always arguably the most enthusiastic camper of our group. I even took survival classes - how to camp, catch your food, survive with basically nothing but some string. I love camping. I often initiated trips. I was a part of our group some 15 years ago when we first discovered our favorite group camp site.
Logged into FB this summer and what is the first photo that pops up: All my former good friends and my former campsite with my ex husband and his new family on a camping trip that nobody even told me about. They even invited some of our friends who do NOT like to camp AT ALL, but who only drove up to spend the day having a few beers and hanging out, and then drove home.

This is the most horrible FB snub I have eever heard of. PP, you have my sympathy. In fact I almost cannot breathe reading this. It is just awful. You Ex should not have posted this. Ok, I am getting really, really upset about this!

Look at it from another perspective and you will feel better; remember that these get-togethers look like much more fun than they really were - because you weren't there - so you're just seeing the smiley comraderie posed photos and you are only imagining all sorts of good times. Also, keep in mind that you weren't invited, not because they don't like your company, but merely because your ex husband was invited (he might have initiated it) so they wouldn't have had you two together at the same event - i.e. it's not because they did not want you there. They were not trying to hurt your feelings. They posted photos on fb because thats what people do constantly these days. No thought as to who might view them or how they'd be percieved.

This. I just saw a picture of a girl holding a wedding invitation to a former colleague's wedding. I doubted we would really be invited, but when the bride-to-be told me she wanted my kids in the wedding party, I thought it would be so nice to see her get married. I'm trying to remember how clueless and unaware of these things I was when I was her age and focus on how happy I am for her.

[Anonymous]

One of my best friends from college made an album called college years. I was not in one of the photos.

[Anonymous]

I was hurt when I saw my DD got very few likes and comments on her photo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I started a small business, I was a little hurt (and fully aware that I shouldn't be) that so few of my FB friends shared information about the business with their friends. It would have been so easy for them and so beneficial for me if they had just shared a link to one of the articles I posted. Or even just "liked" the business's page.

And then I found myself identifying individuals who really *should* have done these things-- people who are true friends, live in DC, are active on FB otherwise. Feels like a snub when they "like" the Daily Show, but not their friend's store. Especially when they knew how hard I'd been working to make it happen, and how every little bit counts in this economy.

Frequent FB'er here. Being a salesperson for your friends is annoying. It's a social network...a place where people can choose what they like without fear of being bombarded with advertisements. Get a good web developer and advertise. FB has a place where you can create your own advertisements there. Stop being an annoying friend by putting the success of your business on their social networking.

I've had a friend on facebook make passive aggressive comments about people not supporting her life/health coaching business page and other stuff along that line. OP, I know you are not doing this, but you have to understand, a decision to like the daily show is far different from liking ANOTHER friend's business. If I liked all of the pages I am asked to like on any given day I would just be doing that on facebook. i prefer to annoy people with too many pictures of my kids instead.