Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll start. A good friend posted pictures of a her birthday celebration out on the town with a bunch of mutual friends. I wasn't included and my feelings are a bit hurt. I know I should suck it up and put on my big girl panties, but I'm sad.

Anyone else ever have their feelings hurt on Facebook?

Haven't read all the pages, surely full of snark, but this hurts my feelings too. Different when it's a small thing or just an acquaintance, but when someone you really thought was a friend does this- it stings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex husband always refused to participate in child-centric activities. If there wasn't beer and football, he was not interested.
The first outing I allowed him and his new GF to take our kids to was a kid's music performance at the Kennedy Center. We were not yet divorced. He had been dating her a few months.
The new GF took pictures of MY children and posted their happy little family outing on FB, tagging my ex (we were still friends) so that when I opened my FB that day, I was greeted by my smiling little ones, on a family outing with HER that he would never have even considered for me.

I just got ill reading this....PP so sorry, I can't imagine how this must have felt.

Ugh, I agree. So sorry PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everybody jumping all over the new girlfriend who posted FB pics of taking the kids out? It's the husband that looks bad for being such a non-involved dick during the marriage and then doing dad-stuff with the new girlfriend, but maybe the new girlfriend doesn't know how he behaved in his marriage. Maybe in her mind she's just trying to be active in the kids' lives and do activities with them when they're with her and the dad. The ex definitely comes off looking bad in that scenario, but the new girlfriend, although she unintentionally hurt the wife's feelings with the pictures, seems like she was just trying to be involved with the kids.

I know it's painful to see your children with your ex's new girlfriend or wife, but I always wonder, would you prefer the alternative of having the new woman hate them and resent their presence and never do anything with them? Your ex will eventually move on, so if it's with someone who appears to give even a tiny shit about the kids, I still think that's way better than the new girlfriend or wife who would rather pretend they don't exist.

I am the poster who had this happen to me. I have had the same thoughts about it that you articulate here. Putting myself in her shoes, I could see me doing this - before. Now that I have lived this, I hope I have learned NOT to do this - not to post pics of some other woman's babies all over FB. Granted she had the permission of their other parent. But knowing now how painful it was, I would not do the same in that situation. I'd wait until at least I had a relationship with the kids and/or ask the mom, if civility is possible.

Ok, fair enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex husband always refused to participate in child-centric activities. If there wasn't beer and football, he was not interested.
The first outing I allowed him and his new GF to take our kids to was a kid's music performance at the Kennedy Center. We were not yet divorced. He had been dating her a few months.
The new GF took pictures of MY children and posted their happy little family outing on FB, tagging my ex (we were still friends) so that when I opened my FB that day, I was greeted by my smiling little ones, on a family outing with HER that he would never have even considered for me.

They'll get their due, PP.

They'll get their due.

a little raw but so true:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UIh7SWxBXyc/TJKa2bUPAqI/AAAAAAAAAA4/jieKtq6d9kc/s1600/Karma.jpg

[Anonymous]

I found out that my aunt and uncle were getting divoced (after 30+ years of marriage) when they changed their statuses to "single." I thought it was juvenile, but it hurt that I found out like that.

[Anonymous]

"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

[Anonymous]

Could there be misconceptions as to the level of friendships? For example the OP, does the other person consider you a "good friend" or is that only on your side? I can't imagine leaving a "good friend" off the guest list of a general party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

There's an occasional bit of useful info. Most of it's junk. I felt like I had to join because everyone kept referencing FB, and then I thought I'd enter into some secret world where I'd get all of this useful information. But alot of it is stupid like 'i ate a muffin' and everyone chimes in 'I like blueberry muffins" or "I just ate a muffin too" and I thought really?? Are these comments for real? Then I'll find out something useful, like a college friend that I lost touch with is moving nearby, or someone is having a baby. That's the good stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could there be misconceptions as to the level of friendships? For example the OP, does the other person consider you a "good friend" or is that only on your side? I can't imagine leaving a "good friend" off the guest list of a general party.

Exactly, just BC FB has a list called "friends" who really has that many friends? I have 3 people that I could count on and truly call friends. It think some people have a low social IQ and seems to put too much faith in people they think are "friends" when they were just acquaintances and then end up getting hurt by silly stuff such as birthday invites and pictures.

To be offended that you are not in the pictures posted on FB is flat out weird and a pretty self-centered view of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

There's an occasional bit of useful info. Most of it's junk. I felt like I had to join because everyone kept referencing FB, and then I thought I'd enter into some secret world where I'd get all of this useful information. But alot of it is stupid like 'i ate a muffin' and everyone chimes in 'I like blueberry muffins" or "I just ate a muffin too" and I thought really?? Are these comments for real? Then I'll find out something useful, like a college friend that I lost touch with is moving nearby, or someone is having a baby. That's the good stuff.

"Muffin" posters do not appear on my newsfeed. Nor do the sympathy-trawlers, the ones who post nothing but "Ugh! I can't believe this is happening to me!" or "I have never been so tired!" just to get people to ask them about their troubles.

I have just spent the last 20 minutes reading informative/ hilarious/ thought-provoking articles that my friends have posted today. Stuff I never would have found on my own.

The cute kid pictures are ok; I prefer travel pics and observations, and get lots of those. But I'm really in it to know what my friends and family are reading and thinking. That, and news. Just this week, I learned of the arrival of a new baby, an engagement, and a long-ago friend moving to the DC area.

[Anonymous]

"But I'm really in it to know what my friends and family are reading and thinking. That, and news. Just this week, I learned of the arrival of a new baby, an engagement, and a long-ago friend moving to the DC area. "

How did you learn of these things before Facebook?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But I'm really in it to know what my friends and family are reading and thinking. That, and news. Just this week, I learned of the arrival of a new baby, an engagement, and a long-ago friend moving to the DC area. "

How did you learn of these things before Facebook?

People sent mass emails. They don't do that anymore. They just put it on facebook. So the people who aren't on fb have to learn about it through word of mouth, which takes longer, and doesn't include pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just saw pictures of a friend from out of the country who apparently came through DC this holiday season and got together with friends. without me.

And I just saw pictures of a friend from out-of-town who came to DC and got together with friends without me. Oh, well. I'll live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could there be misconceptions as to the level of friendships? For example the OP, does the other person consider you a "good friend" or is that only on your side? I can't imagine leaving a "good friend" off the guest list of a general party.

Well, obviously. That's why she's hurt, duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop. "

What are we missing?

Parties, milestone event, gossip.