"Are You Working Yet?"

[Anonymous]

Part of the problem is in the name. Why are working moms (in the home) called stay at home moms? Whether a mom works in the house or in an office, both are working moms. The names should be changed to working "in the home" moms and working "outside of the home" moms. Both jobs are hard and I will not dispute which is harder or easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem is in the name. Why are working moms (in the home) called stay at home moms? Whether a mom works in the house or in an office, both are working moms. The names should be changed to working "in the home" moms and working "outside of the home" moms. Both jobs are hard and I will not dispute which is harder or easier.

Is this a joke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem is in the name. Why are working moms (in the home) called stay at home moms? Whether a mom works in the house or in an office, both are working moms. The names should be changed to working "in the home" moms and working "outside of the home" moms. Both jobs are hard and I will not dispute which is harder or easier.

Yeah but then you'd have to distinguish between Moms who have paid jobs that are done from home (WAHM) and Moms who do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not asking to be "paid" but I still work. I do not get paid to garden but it is hard work. I do not get paid to cook, but again, I am working. Work does not need to include a paycheck yet it is still "work". Volunteers building a house are still "working".

You pay a daycare provider and they are certainly working... I may not get paid but I am still busting my ass.

And my day is not all childcare. Housekeeping is work, just ask your maid. She WORKS.

I am not a liberal who believes in handouts.... but has anyone seen the movie Sicko? Fact, many European governments provide paid leave, help at home for parent's, etc. I'm just sayin.... And the people interviewed took WEEKS of vacation, had nice homes and were not up in arms over the taxes. Just throwing it out there, not saying it is what we should do.

Oh good Lord, what to you *isn't* hard work? If you don't want to garden, don't garden. If you didn't want to have kids you shouldn't have had kids. If you don't like to cook, get takeout. The whole "I'm busting my ass" thing is just ridiculous. These are your choices. And your CHILDREN. Try and find some joy there, because it's all around you.

Bingo! I'm the poster who said living isn't work and I think you said it better than I did. If one wants to be unemployed and go to school or raise a child or collect stamps or nap, more power to em. But don't get your panties in a knot when someone else doesn't refer to your personal passion (regardless of the effort exerted) as work.

Yep, sure, child-rearing is akin to napping or stamp-collecting or being. Attitudes like this is why child-rearing is looked down on in this country.

I didn't write this, but am fairly confident that the poster wasn't saying child-rearing is akin to stamp-collecting. Come on. She was saying that it's something worthy of enjoyment. And something that comes of choice and free will. Who is looking down on child-rearing?? Other than maybe OP's "friends"??

Thank you. I am the poster who wrote that. And no. I was not saying child rearing is akin to samp collecting or napping. I notice the initial responder to my post doesn't list my other example, going to school. That takes great effort if you do it right but, like my oher examples -- inlcuding raising a child -- it's something one chooses to do/prioritize if it bring them joy.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the issue is not validation but seeking respect? I'll be honest though I have way more respect for someone who talks about how happy they are in their choices, shares the level effort required to be with kids all together but in a positive or challenging way or talks about all the innovative and cool things they do with their kids. This is the type of women you respect, want to be around and perhaps even envy.

The moms who pull the I'm the CFO of my household, go on about they are working but are not paycheck moms, constantly complain about how they never get a break and whine about not getting respect just don't entice people's respect. Its sounds whining and all the focus on the mundane and laundry related taks or my husband doesn't help does make it sound somehow less important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the issue is not validation but seeking respect? I'll be honest though I have way more respect for someone who talks about how happy they are in their choices, shares the level effort required to be with kids all together but in a positive or challenging way or talks about all the innovative and cool things they do with their kids. This is the type of women you respect, want to be around and perhaps even envy.

The moms who pull the I'm the CFO of my household, go on about they are working but are not paycheck moms, constantly complain about how they never get a break and whine about not getting respect just don't entice people's respect. Its sounds whining and all the focus on the mundane and laundry related taks or my husband doesn't help does make it sound somehow less important.

Interesting viewpoint...says quite a bit more about the poster than those she speaks of, IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the issue is not validation but seeking respect? I'll be honest though I have way more respect for someone who talks about how happy they are in their choices, shares the level effort required to be with kids all together but in a positive or challenging way or talks about all the innovative and cool things they do with their kids. This is the type of women you respect, want to be around and perhaps even envy.

The moms who pull the I'm the CFO of my household, go on about they are working but are not paycheck moms, constantly complain about how they never get a break and whine about not getting respect just don't entice people's respect. Its sounds whining and all the focus on the mundane and laundry related taks or my husband doesn't help does make it sound somehow less important.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the issue is not validation but seeking respect? I'll be honest though I have way more respect for someone who talks about how happy they are in their choices, shares the level effort required to be with kids all together but in a positive or challenging way or talks about all the innovative and cool things they do with their kids. This is the type of women you respect, want to be around and perhaps even envy.

The moms who pull the I'm the CFO of my household, go on about they are working but are not paycheck moms, constantly complain about how they never get a break and whine about not getting respect just don't entice people's respect. Its sounds whining and all the focus on the mundane and laundry related taks or my husband doesn't help does make it sound somehow less important.

Interesting viewpoint...says quite a bit more about the poster than those she speaks of, IMHO.

That was a back handed comment. I think the poster has a vaild point. And when I think about what kind of people I'm attracted to socially, then it all makes sense.

Same goes for people who work. Who wants to listen to someone who is always bitching and moaning about their job? Are these people looked upon as leaders?

[Anonymous]

I agree with 12:56. Do you really respect those moms who go on about not being able to take a shower and go to the bathroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with 12:56. Do you really respect those moms who go on about not being able to take a shower and go to the bathroom?

And these are moms with 1 or 2 children! There are women all over this planet juggling many more kids than 2 and on top of that they are cooking from scratch all day and their husbands do not so much as lift a finger. Whenever I start to feel whiney, I think about how I get to sit in an air conditioned house, have all of the latest comforts and amenities, and don't have to carry my fresh water in bucket up to the house on a daily basis. We act like we are the first people to ever give birth and try to raise children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with 12:56. Do you really respect those moms who go on about not being able to take a shower and go to the bathroom?

Why, yes, actually! Kind of appalled that others don't...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with 12:56. Do you really respect those moms who go on about not being able to take a shower and go to the bathroom?

I find this whole thread of reasoning mean-spirited. When I was a SAHM it was certainly true that there were days when I didn't get to take a shower, and I am sure I complained about it. If one of my SAHM friends tells me frequently that she works so hard that she can't even get a shower in, then I try to ask, kindly, "could you hire more babysitting?", etc., etc. It wouldn't even occur to me to respect her less, because that's just not how I was brought up to treat people. Not being sanctimonious, I just honestly don't get it when people are so judgmental--who are all of you to determine who deserves "respect"?

[Anonymous]

I guess for the same reason that SAHMs think their jobs are so hard while nannies who have the same schedule have it easy. I am always amazed at how many SAHM friends I have will talk about how lazy nannies are and should have all this free time. Maybe they've bitten themselves in the butt because people without kids hear that and think, gee, what do they do all day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the issue is not validation but seeking respect? I'll be honest though I have way more respect for someone who talks about how happy they are in their choices, shares the level effort required to be with kids all together but in a positive or challenging way or talks about all the innovative and cool things they do with their kids. This is the type of women you respect, want to be around and perhaps even envy.

The moms who pull the I'm the CFO of my household, go on about they are working but are not paycheck moms, constantly complain about how they never get a break and whine about not getting respect just don't entice people's respect. Its sounds whining and all the focus on the mundane and laundry related taks or my husband doesn't help does make it sound somehow less important.

Interesting viewpoint...says quite a bit more about the poster than those she speaks of, IMHO.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess for the same reason that SAHMs think their jobs are so hard while nannies who have the same schedule have it easy. I am always amazed at how many SAHM friends I have will talk about how lazy nannies are and should have all this free time. Maybe they've bitten themselves in the butt because people without kids hear that and think, gee, what do they do all day?

I always wondered about that contrast between nannies and moms. The nannies make it seem so easy and don't complain about not getting anything done. Sure they complain about their employers, benefits, and raises, but hardly about the rigors of the job.