"Are You Working Yet?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just on a side note. Language is quite important in how we perceive things. I find it a little disturbing when people call child rearing 'work'. It's not work. It's something you enjoy. I'm not saying it's a breeze or it's easy...but it's definitely not work. Once you get out of that mentality, you will enjoy every minute of being with your little one and and just be in the moment of hanging out with them...and being there for all it's crying, ups and downs.

I am the author of this post. No it's not a joke. I'm being dead serious. I try very hard not to use the word "work" when conveying or thinking of what I am doing with my little one. As soon as you begin to think of it as such, it becomes work. I personally don't like work.
I see child rearing for what it is...time spend trying to have fun and getting know my little one.

I'm sorry if you missed my point and think i'm not being serious.

No, I got that you were serious, LOL. Let's just say that, um, I respectfully disagree. Child-rearing may be very fulfilling work but it is most definitely work. The word work doesn't have to have a negative connotation.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the past poster. We all work, even singletons, to maintain a house and a life. Most of us cook and clean daily. And we mothers, WOH or SAH, carry the lionshare of running the house and cultivating the family. Granted, SAH Moms devote more hours to raising the kids/ keeping on top of the chores, but we all work around the clock to pay bills/ maintain our family's existence. Now I have to get back to dishes and packing lunches

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it a little disturbing when people call child rearing 'work'. It's not work. It's something you enjoy. I'm not saying it's a breeze or it's easy...but it's definitely not work. Once you get out of that mentality, you will enjoy every minute of being with your little one and and just be in the moment of hanging out with them...and being there for all it's crying, ups and downs.

That is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time!

[Anonymous]

Doesn't anyone remember a time before kids? I had no concept of how much work and joy kids can be prior to having them. I don't understand though why you need someone who doesn't have kids to give you validation for how much work you do at home. To be honest, I have seen this constant focus on wanting recognition more from SAHMs than WMs. Just be happy and move on or give a simple answer I'm still staying home and love it. Wouldn't that be refreshing instead of the I do work, my life is harder stuff.

I know that my single co workers can go home, go out to dinner, get a full night's sleep, or decompress and relax on the weekends as I used to be able to do. I don't feel any great need for them to recognize how much energy and work it takes to do my job as efficiently as possible so I can spend as much time with my kids and then stay up at night doing all the household tasks. This is my life and I really like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just on a side note. Language is quite important in how we perceive things. I find it a little disturbing when people call child rearing 'work'. It's not work. It's something you enjoy. I'm not saying it's a breeze or it's easy...but it's definitely not work. Once you get out of that mentality, you will enjoy every minute of being with your little one and and just be in the moment of hanging out with them...and being there for all it's crying, ups and downs.

I have to agree. I love my job-my part-time gig-but I love coming home to my son. Of course, I start thinking of all the things I need to do, but say-the hell with it, and kick back to have fun. It's definitely easier than being at work-my job is stressful. I've never thought of my child as being "work"-exhausting maybe, but definitely not work. I will admit though-we have a full time nanny who also straightens and cleans-so when I do come home, I can enjoy my little man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just on a side note. Language is quite important in how we perceive things. I find it a little disturbing when people call child rearing 'work'. It's not work. It's something you enjoy. I'm not saying it's a breeze or it's easy...but it's definitely not work. Once you get out of that mentality, you will enjoy every minute of being with your little one and and just be in the moment of hanging out with them...and being there for all it's crying, ups and downs.

I have to agree. I love my job-my part-time gig-but I love coming home to my son. Of course, I start thinking of all the things I need to do, but say-the hell with it, and kick back to have fun. It's definitely easier than being at work-my job is stressful. I've never thought of my child as being "work"-exhausting maybe, but definitely not work. I will admit though-we have a full time nanny who also straightens and cleans-so when I do come home, I can enjoy my little man.

Not surprising that it's not work to you if your nanny is doing the work for most of the day, LOL.

[Anonymous]

I'd love to post a comment, but my boss is calling me (I'm on standby 24/7)...she's all of 23 pounds and 28 inches long, but she sure knows how to be demanding and wills prompt attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the past poster. We all work, even singletons, to maintain a house and a life. Most of us cook and clean daily.

No. That's called living. You gonna tell me its work to eat and shower and crap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the past poster. We all work, even singletons, to maintain a house and a life. Most of us cook and clean daily.

No. That's called living. You gonna tell me its work to eat and shower and crap?

HAHA so true! People like to complain at the slightest exertion of effort and organization. We could all just sit around instead and live in a complete dump and eat cheetos for dinner, maybe that would get everyone out of this predicament called life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just on a side note. Language is quite important in how we perceive things. I find it a little disturbing when people call child rearing 'work'. It's not work. It's something you enjoy. I'm not saying it's a breeze or it's easy...but it's definitely not work. Once you get out of that mentality, you will enjoy every minute of being with your little one and and just be in the moment of hanging out with them...and being there for all it's crying, ups and downs.

I have to agree. I love my job-my part-time gig-but I love coming home to my son. Of course, I start thinking of all the things I need to do, but say-the hell with it, and kick back to have fun. It's definitely easier than being at work-my job is stressful. I've never thought of my child as being "work"-exhausting maybe, but definitely not work. I will admit though-we have a full time nanny who also straightens and cleans-so when I do come home, I can enjoy my little man.

That is the way to go! I outsource everything possible. Even when I was a SAH, I still had someone come and clean my house and had a mothers helper. It certainly does make one's day much more pleasant to come home to the smell of a spick and span clean house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the past poster. We all work, even singletons, to maintain a house and a life. Most of us cook and clean daily.

No. That's called living. You gonna tell me its work to eat and shower and crap?

HAHA so true! People like to complain at the slightest exertion of effort and organization. We could all just sit around instead and live in a complete dump and eat cheetos for dinner, maybe that would get everyone out of this predicament called life.

Yeah, I have to agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Now I know how these threads go off on tangents. My friends were not asking an innocent question. They ask this all the time and are disgusted I am at home and not working.

Your original message didn't make this clear at all. If you are sure they are implying (or they are actually saying) that you *should* be working outside the home because your at-home work is less valuable, that is a different story.

OP again, I was just generally saying I did not mean to offend anyone. I really respect all mothers. Working, SAH, Single, Divorced. I love child rearing but at times it is work. As it cleaning and keeping a life.

To expand on my rant, my friends think it is beneath any woman to stay home with kids and clean a house. I hope they marry wealthy so they can afford a nanny and housekeeper. I could go on and on about their rude, obnoxcious comments to me. I work my ass off. I work 24 hours a day. I relish my time with the baby but also miss my old life. I do not need "friends" making me feel bad for staying home.

Again, I did not mean to offend anyone and I was not trying to start a post on a generic topic. What I was ranting about was/is and very personal issue.

OP - why are these people your friends? I am at a loss. How about you find new friends who are actually friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just on a side note. Language is quite important in how we perceive things. I find it a little disturbing when people call child rearing 'work'. It's not work. It's something you enjoy. I'm not saying it's a breeze or it's easy...but it's definitely not work. Once you get out of that mentality, you will enjoy every minute of being with your little one and and just be in the moment of hanging out with them...and being there for all it's crying, ups and downs.

I have to agree. I love my job-my part-time gig-but I love coming home to my son. Of course, I start thinking of all the things I need to do, but say-the hell with it, and kick back to have fun. It's definitely easier than being at work-my job is stressful. I've never thought of my child as being "work"-exhausting maybe, but definitely not work. I will admit though-we have a full time nanny who also straightens and cleans-so when I do come home, I can enjoy my little man.

Not surprising that it's not work to you if your nanny is doing the work for most of the day, LOL.

I know. I wasn't discounting the fact that there is housework, shopping, cooking to be done-there is always something that needs to be done. We do a nanny share since we didn't need our nanny full time-and we host at our home-and we did this for her because we adore her. I wanted her to make more $$$. I get home around 2:30 from work-and her and the nanny share baby stay until 5. While the children are taking naps-she does what she can around the house-but I've never ask to do anything around the house.

After our son starts preschool and we don't need our nanny-we're in for a rude shock. But we have a small house, and it's manageable. I do think though-if you can afford it-outsource as much as you can to make life easier. It's worth every penny!

[Anonymous]

Op again. Thanks to everyone for responding and making me feel better (mostly). I've since 6am and have re-heated my coffee at least four times.

I would hire help to clean the house if my husband were not a cheapo.

And I honestly do not need validation from anyone regarding my decision to stay home. It just saddens me that my certain friends feel it belittles women to be home with their children. I do work hard and I do enjoy it (most of the time). What I do is not glamorous or always fun but I am with me little one. At some point I will go back to a paying gig but for now this is my job and it does not make me less of a woman, as they think it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the past poster. We all work, even singletons, to maintain a house and a life. Most of us cook and clean daily.

No. That's called living. You gonna tell me its work to eat and shower and crap?

HAHA so true! People like to complain at the slightest exertion of effort and organization. We could all just sit around instead and live in a complete dump and eat cheetos for dinner, maybe that would get everyone out of this predicament called life.

There's a difference between popular conceptions of work -- as in it's only something I'll do if I get paid -- and a sociological definition of work, which is what I've been referring to in my posts. I love my kid and my husband and certainly I'm glad to do things on their behalf but in terms of what it is that I do, it's certainly "work" in a technical sense. I ain't sittin' around eating bonbons, that's for sure!

We live in a society that pays lipservice to raising children but ultimately doesn't value it because raising children does not make a profit!