"Are You Working Yet?"

[Anonymous]

Why is it that people who do not have kids think staying at home with child is not WORK? Do they really think we are sitting on our butts eating bon bons being fanned by a greek god while our children play in the wild flower fields unsupervised and a magical fairy cleans our homes? COME ON PEOPLE.

Yes I work. I clean house, vaccum, pick up toys, wipe butts, cook, do laundry, run errands, walk dogs and chase around a wiley 13 month old. If you think none of the tasks I perform are "work" please come trade off with me for a day. I would love the vacation. My back would love the rest.

I am not against working mothers or stay at home mothers. We are all moms and work as far as I am concerned. I do think that the physical labor I have to deal with 16 plus hours a day is a bit more strenuous than my non-parenting friends experience while sitting at their desk surfing the internet for deals on shoes or while taking two hour lunches to Ollazo's in Bethesda, then stopping at Starbuck's.

So yes, I am working ladies. And my job is much more difficult than yours is. You do not leave work to go pick up kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them, get them to bed either. You leave work for happy hour (which is great, I would too if I didn't have to continue "working").

So please do not ever ask me again if I am "working" yet. I never stopped working. My job description just changed.

ps. baby is napping so I am on my ten minute break before I get off my butt and continue to work.

Thanks for letting me rant.

[Anonymous]

lol, i love it!

[Anonymous]

Look, the reality is that people without kids often just don't get it. I don't think they mean any offense, they just don't understand how hard it is to raise kids. Obviously they are wondering if you are back at your old paid job.

[Anonymous]

SO with you. None of my friends has kids yet and there are so many things they just can't comprehend.

[Anonymous]

I know working moms that think the same thing. I have a old friend who works, has since baby was 6 weeks old and is always talking about sahms having the easy life. Well, I guess if I had a nanny and house keeper and still stayed home, it would be easy as pie. Instead I am the cook, cleaner, childcare provider, bill payer, everything it takes to run a family and home, just put it behind my name. I am not bitching, I love what I do or I would not do it. I would not even consider going to work outside the home as long as I have young children to take care of. Good for those that do and go for those that don't.

[Anonymous]

If anyone said that to me, I would say, "Yeah and I am STILL waiting for my paycheck." Nobody really knows what it is like to be a parent (esp a SAH parent) until they do it themselves. So there is really no trying to explain it to them.

[Anonymous]

people without kids don't get it. I had a colleague come by and tell me how stressed out she was as she had to both 1. pick up a cake a the bakery for a friends birthday and 2. Go get her eyebrows waxed.

For me, that would be like a vacation!

Don't let it get to you. My MIL asked me if my sister was back at work yet when the baby was 3 weeks old. I told her, no, she's on maternity leave RECOVERING. Don't take it personal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:people without kids don't get it. I had a colleague come by and tell me how stressed out she was as she had to both 1. pick up a cake a the bakery for a friends birthday and 2. Go get her eyebrows waxed.

For me, that would be like a vacation!

Don't let it get to you. My MIL asked me if my sister was back at work yet when the baby was 3 weeks old. I told her, no, she's on maternity leave RECOVERING. Don't take it personal

Ha! That does sound like vacation. Going to a party and doing something to improve my face? Are you kidding? I'd be in heaven!

[Anonymous]

Sweet! I love it!!! I'm a single mom by choice and I know a stay at home mom is hard work! I often look forward to Monday's and coming to work. lol When I'm not at work, I do it all...chores, clean, run errands, etc. so everyday is a work day for me. There is no one to help me except when I take my 14 month old daughter to daycare for 9 hours while I make the money. It is all very exhausting but I find being a mom very self rewarding. Anyway, I totally sympathize with the crap you get about being a stay at home mom, it's not easy. People have no idea what it takes to be a SAHM, they need to keep their mouths shut till they spend one day in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm....the day raising kids and doing household chores isn't considered work, is the day we don't have to pay nannies, daycares and housekeepers to do these jobs.

Never gonna happen!

[Anonymous]

I work outside my home and I am in complete agreement with you. Work is work and it doesn't become "not work" because you don't get a paycheck.

A bit dated but people might find it interesting -- Arlie Hochschild's book The Second Shift (from the 80s). Hochschild interviewed two job heterosexual couples about who does the housework in addition to their paid work outside the home. Her focus is on the gendering of housework -- how it's seen as women's work even if women are working outside their homes. But ultimately what I like about it is that stresses that homemaking is like working "backstage" in the theater -- it's essential to society but because it is backstage it's invisible and the actors on stage get all the credit.

[Anonymous]

Too funny. I am a working mom, and I always tell friends that my real job doesn't start until I get home at 4:00. I sometimes sit in my car in the driveway after work, trying to mentally prepare myself before going inside my house.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM. There's no doubt about it -- my work is more demanding and exhausting now. The PP who said that, after work, she sits in her car in the driveway mentally preparing herself to face the kids? That is a funny and honest woman. Every one on this thread knows exactly what's she talking about.

But my job now is generally less stressful -- unless my kid takes a swan dive off the sofa and onto the glass coffee table. I don't worry that I'm going to lose my job if I miss a deadline. I don't worry that I might need to lay someone off if I can't land that next account. Of course, I stress over whether my child will ever get over his water phobia but I don't lose sleep over it. I stress a little about whether we're making the right school choices. But I know that my child is resilient and that we can make changes later. All in all, I'm sleeping easy.

Of course, I did get a fat paycheck for my anxiety. But all in all, I'm pretty certain that I have the better gig now. The benefits (sweaty hugs, impromptu bouquets, seeing my son do something I taught him) are unbeatable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that people who do not have kids think staying at home with child is not WORK? Do they really think we are sitting on our butts eating bon bons being fanned by a greek god while our children play in the wild flower fields unsupervised and a magical fairy cleans our homes? COME ON PEOPLE.

Yes I work. I clean house, vaccum, pick up toys, wipe butts, cook, do laundry, run errands, walk dogs and chase around a wiley 13 month old. If you think none of the tasks I perform are "work" please come trade off with me for a day. I would love the vacation. My back would love the rest.

I am not against working mothers or stay at home mothers. We are all moms and work as far as I am concerned. I do think that the physical labor I have to deal with 16 plus hours a day is a bit more strenuous than my non-parenting friends experience while sitting at their desk surfing the internet for deals on shoes or while taking two hour lunches to Ollazo's in Bethesda, then stopping at Starbuck's.

So yes, I am working ladies. And my job is much more difficult than yours is. You do not leave work to go pick up kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them, get them to bed either. You leave work for happy hour (which is great, I would too if I didn't have to continue "working").

So please do not ever ask me again if I am "working" yet. I never stopped working. My job description just changed.

ps. baby is napping so I am on my ten minute break before I get off my butt and continue to work.

Thanks for letting me rant.

I agree that staying home is very difficult. However let us stop with the "my job is more difficult than yours".

I do everything that you do plus I work outside the house I leave work to go pick up kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them and get them to bed. I do it after I have had a full day of work where I constantly worry that I have done as much work as I can, so I can leave early to go pick up the kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them and get them to bed. I do not take two hour lunches in Bethesda and stop at Starbucks. I stay at my desk with my sandwich and work at the same time so I can leave early to go pick up the kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them and get them to bed.

Get it ???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that people who do not have kids think staying at home with child is not WORK? Do they really think we are sitting on our butts eating bon bons being fanned by a greek god while our children play in the wild flower fields unsupervised and a magical fairy cleans our homes? COME ON PEOPLE.

Yes I work. I clean house, vaccum, pick up toys, wipe butts, cook, do laundry, run errands, walk dogs and chase around a wiley 13 month old. If you think none of the tasks I perform are "work" please come trade off with me for a day. I would love the vacation. My back would love the rest.

I am not against working mothers or stay at home mothers. We are all moms and work as far as I am concerned. I do think that the physical labor I have to deal with 16 plus hours a day is a bit more strenuous than my non-parenting friends experience while sitting at their desk surfing the internet for deals on shoes or while taking two hour lunches to Ollazo's in Bethesda, then stopping at Starbuck's.

So yes, I am working ladies. And my job is much more difficult than yours is. You do not leave work to go pick up kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them, get them to bed either. You leave work for happy hour (which is great, I would too if I didn't have to continue "working").

So please do not ever ask me again if I am "working" yet. I never stopped working. My job description just changed.

ps. baby is napping so I am on my ten minute break before I get off my butt and continue to work.

Thanks for letting me rant.

I agree that staying home is very difficult. However let us stop with the "my job is more difficult than yours".

I do everything that you do plus I work outside the house I leave work to go pick up kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them and get them to bed. I do it after I have had a full day of work where I constantly worry that I have done as much work as I can, so I can leave early to go pick up the kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them and get them to bed. I do not take two hour lunches in Bethesda and stop at Starbucks. I stay at my desk with my sandwich and work at the same time so I can leave early to go pick up the kids, make them dinner, clean up after them, bath them and get them to bed.

Get it ???

Gear down, madame. She said her job is harder than her friends who aren't parents. You misread. Back to your corners, everyone.