Am I overreacting/rude with this text?

[Anonymous]

You both sound awful and deserve each other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound awful and deserve each other

Agreed. Also, I don't get why OP would even continue to be friends with someone who routinely dismisses her thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So now we are obligated to agree with everything anyone says or else it’s a racist microaggression?

Geez I miss the 90s when everyone wasn’t so high-strung and constantly looking for ways to be offended.

Remember when friendly debates could simply end in “Whatever” and then everyone moved on? Sigh.

It isn't about agreeing with everything. It's fine if you disagree with me. But when someone else says the exact same thing 5 mins later, it makes you wonder, "why didn't she believe me?"

?

Maybe she doesn’t believe him either and was just being polite? Pleasantly agreeing with a stranger eavesdropping in public is a normal response.

Maybe heating two people make the same point is more compelling? Maybe the two of you persuaded her?

Regardless, stewing over this because you opted to assume malicious intent on the part of your friend by believing she dismissed your statement because of your race is simply absurd. It seems to say more about you and your insecurities than anything rational. I’m pretty sure this is precisely the behavior that prompts the reminder to “Check yo’ self before you wreck yo’self.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, to provide full context:

I am a women's health NP and also a CNM. We were discussion the how dangerous birth can be. This came up due to a number of influences either dying recently or having sever complications from home births gone wrong.

I was mentioning that the US has a high mat mortality rate for a developed country and the rate is higher among women of color. She said that she didn't think that was true.

The man who interjected mentioned how his wife is also a WOC and he has seen how medical bias is a real thing and he can see how it would lead to negative things happening.


I didn't want to go into detail at first for privacy, but at this point, if she sees this, she will already know it's me.

NP: To OP, I was on your side before and now I definitely am. Doesn't everyone know the bolded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, to provide full context:

I am a women's health NP and also a CNM. We were discussion the how dangerous birth can be. This came up due to a number of influences either dying recently or having sever complications from home births gone wrong.

I was mentioning that the US has a high mat mortality rate for a developed country and the rate is higher among women of color. She said that she didn't think that was true.

The man who interjected mentioned how his wife is also a WOC and he has seen how medical bias is a real thing and he can see how it would lead to negative things happening.


I didn't want to go into detail at first for privacy, but at this point, if she sees this, she will already know it's me.

Based on this, I think you are way overreacting. The friend made the one statement about not thinking that was true, then the man interjected? If that was all, I certainly don’t understand why you would take her statement so personally if you are genuine friends. Why do you view her comment as her discrediting/dismissing your expertise as opposed to her simply being ignorant about the facts? And if she does this a lot, maybe that’s just her personality. We all know people who are contrarian for the sake of being contrarian, no matter the topic and no matter how much an expert the other person may be. The point is that her response might not have anything to do with you. And if this woman is your friend, it seems like more grace could’ve been given to the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, to provide full context:

I am a women's health NP and also a CNM. We were discussion the how dangerous birth can be. This came up due to a number of influences either dying recently or having sever complications from home births gone wrong.

I was mentioning that the US has a high mat mortality rate for a developed country and the rate is higher among women of color. She said that she didn't think that was true.

The man who interjected mentioned how his wife is also a WOC and he has seen how medical bias is a real thing and he can see how it would lead to negative things happening.


I didn't want to go into detail at first for privacy, but at this point, if she sees this, she will already know it's me.

NP: To OP, I was on your side before and now I definitely am. Doesn't everyone know the bolded?

+1

This research should be common knowledge to anyone who reads legit news on the regular.

And I suspect hearing another person validate the commonly accepted research is what changed her mind…not that it came from a white man.

[Anonymous]

I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

[Anonymous]

I’d be embarrassed to post my education like I was better than others with the spelling and grammar OP has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

Like I said: some people are just dumb. The friend obviously doesn’t read legit news.

As to not immediately believing her friend, that could be explained by:

1. The fact she isn’t up to speed on the research, and

2. The fact that she lives in an area that isn’t racist and everyone has access to high quality healthcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

Like I said: some people are just dumb. The friend obviously doesn’t read legit news.

As to not immediately believing her friend, that could be explained by:

1. The fact she isn’t up to speed on the research, and

2. The fact that she lives in an area that isn’t racist and everyone has access to high quality healthcare.

That could all be true but when someone tells me something I don't know or think is true, I have the intellectual curiosity to try to learn more about it. Sounds like friend didn't.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am curious to know what this woman does for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

Like I said: some people are just dumb. The friend obviously doesn’t read legit news.

As to not immediately believing her friend, that could be explained by:

1. The fact she isn’t up to speed on the research, and

2. The fact that she lives in an area that isn’t racist and everyone has access to high quality healthcare.

That could all be true but when someone tells me something I don't know or think is true, I have the intellectual curiosity to try to learn more about it. Sounds like friend didn't.

Maybe.

I wasn’t there, so I don’t know how she reacted. Maybe she said something like, “No, that can’t be right.”

And that’s probably a normal reaction who is just hearing this for the first time. After all, it’s shocking to hear such a thing in 2026, right?

I mean, I doubt she reacted with, “Get outta here! What a stupid thing to suggest!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

Like I said: some people are just dumb. The friend obviously doesn’t read legit news.

As to not immediately believing her friend, that could be explained by:

1. The fact she isn’t up to speed on the research, and

2. The fact that she lives in an area that isn’t racist and everyone has access to high quality healthcare.

That could all be true but when someone tells me something I don't know or think is true, I have the intellectual curiosity to try to learn more about it. Sounds like friend didn't.

Maybe.

I wasn’t there, so I don’t know how she reacted. Maybe she said something like, “No, that can’t be right.”

And that’s probably a normal reaction who is just hearing this for the first time. After all, it’s shocking to hear such a thing in 2026, right?

I mean, I doubt she reacted with, “Get outta here! What a stupid thing to suggest!”

Per OP "She said that she didn't think that was true"