Am I overreacting/rude with this text?

[Anonymous]

Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Your text is really rude, arrogant, patronizing, and off-putting.

Your friend sounds kind of rude, too, though. But that doesn't cancel out the fact your response was awful.

[Anonymous]

That was not a microaggression.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I would never speak to you again.

[Anonymous]

Why are you assuming that your friend was not acting in good faith when she disagreed with you?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think OP was rude to share her feelings. OP if I were your friend I would want to know, and apologize. She sounds too defensive and lacking in accountability.

[Anonymous]

You were out of line calling her out.
Unless the issue itself was one that was racial in nature.

[Anonymous]

"I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. " Wow like why would that even be a consideration over a minor disagreement? You are the drama.

[Anonymous]

When it's this long, it shouldn't be happening over text.

[Anonymous]

I am a WOC and I wouldn’t send that text to a friend. But I would call her and tell her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming that your friend was not acting in good faith when she disagreed with you?

OP here,
Because she regularly hand waves and dismisses things that I say to her. She hears the same thing from someone else and suddenly she believes it. I will apologize for my rudeness, but I was just kind of over it in the moment and shouldn't have lashed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That was not a microaggression.

Yes, it is. OP, I think it's perfectly fine to let your friend know how you feel, especially if this is a pattern rather than a one-off. But you should have told her right then and there. Not later, via text. That's kinda lame.

[Anonymous]

If a friend and I are disagreeing and someone external points out I'm in fact wrong, I would admit my mistake. Like they both can't be wrong.

Why do you automatically assume she admitted her mistake because he's white? What if he were Black or Asian? Would you say she had internalized misogyny?

[Anonymous]

Next time...you know there will be one...call her out in the moment saying "You are doing it again."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was not a microaggression.

Yes, it is. OP, I think it's perfectly fine to let your friend know how you feel, especially if this is a pattern rather than a one-off. But you should have told her right then and there. Not later, via text. That's kinda lame.

So any disagreements between friends who are not both white are mico-aggressive in nature?