Am I overreacting/rude with this text?

[Anonymous]

No, you were not rude. Liberal white women are very entitled and don’t like being called out about their BS, especially by WOC or white men. And before you all start attacking me, I’m a 47 year old white male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

No. Your friend is not a very good friend.

A lot of DCUM posters don’t want to acknowledge this reality. I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that except she did. The question for you, OP, since she’s doubling down, is do you want to keep up the friendship? Because I don’t think she is going to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree this is a microaggression, but why would you want to continue a friendship with someone who does this regularly? As a Black woman myself, I do not understand this.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would never speak to you again.

+100
Yep. Buh-bye.

[Anonymous]

It does seem like things that appear unfair towards others elicit a knee jerk opposition from people who dont want to accept inequality is commonplace

[Anonymous]

OP, a “microaggresion”? Seriously? I can see how you’d be annoyed by your friend doubting you due to your line of work. But your race has nothing to do with it. Do you typically claim “microaggression” when anyone disagrees with you?

[Anonymous]

people are allowed to disagree with you without it being a comment on friendship or a 'microaggression'. jfc.

also can we please retire this word, it's sh*t like this that's why we have trump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

You are.

Also, it’s not all about race. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, to provide full context:

I am a women's health NP and also a CNM. We were discussion the how dangerous birth can be. This came up due to a number of influences either dying recently or having sever complications from home births gone wrong.

I was mentioning that the US has a high mat mortality rate for a developed country and the rate is higher among women of color. She said that she didn't think that was true.

The man who interjected mentioned how his wife is also a WOC and he has seen how medical bias is a real thing and he can see how it would lead to negative things happening.


I didn't want to go into detail at first for privacy, but at this point, if she sees this, she will already know it's me.

NP: To OP, I was on your side before and now I definitely am. Doesn't everyone know the bolded?

Yes, the bolded is common knowledge, but I get skeptical of some of the associated statistics, especially when looking at DC stats. I would not go along with attributing the entire increase to healthcare worker biases or healthcare worker racism. Healthcare access, obesity and other comorbidities, especially wholly untreated ones, etc.
I’m not sure what exactly the friend was disagreeing with, but it gets grayer than the bolded.

I thought a microaggression was, almost by definition, not a slight from a friend but a coworker or stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would never speak to you again.

+1

My friend (a white woman) has done this to me (a white woman) and I would never NEVER accuse her of micro aggression or whatever you think it is. You’re nuts!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend and I were at a public place (restaurant/bar) for drinks. I told her a fact based on things I know from my career field. She insisted I was incorrect. A man at the table behind us, turned around and said "actually, she is right. I have experienced [event/situation] to be the case as well".

For context, friend is a white woman and I am a WOC. I sent her a text later as follows:
"Hey, I just wanted to say that it really hurts when you don't listen to me on things that I quite literally do for a living. It's a bit of a microaggression to be honest that you immediately believe a random white man who presents anecdata over me, your friend who has a Master's in this topic. I'm not mad at you and I don't want to stop being friends with you. I just wanted to let you know how this comes across."

She replied "oh it's not like that...."

Am I overreacting?

You are.

Also, it’s not all about race. 🙄

+1

Yo literally just accused your friend - YOUR FRIEND - of racism. Why the heck would she want to continue a friendship with someone who thinks she’s racist when she knows she’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

Like I said: some people are just dumb. The friend obviously doesn’t read legit news.

As to not immediately believing her friend, that could be explained by:

1. The fact she isn’t up to speed on the research, and

2. The fact that she lives in an area that isn’t racist and everyone has access to high quality healthcare.

What area might that be 🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, to provide full context:

I am a women's health NP and also a CNM. We were discussion the how dangerous birth can be. This came up due to a number of influences either dying recently or having sever complications from home births gone wrong.

I was mentioning that the US has a high mat mortality rate for a developed country and the rate is higher among women of color. She said that she didn't think that was true.

The man who interjected mentioned how his wife is also a WOC and he has seen how medical bias is a real thing and he can see how it would lead to negative things happening.


I didn't want to go into detail at first for privacy, but at this point, if she sees this, she will already know it's me.

NP: To OP, I was on your side before and now I definitely am. Doesn't everyone know the bolded?

Yes, the bolded is common knowledge, but I get skeptical of some of the associated statistics, especially when looking at DC stats. I would not go along with attributing the entire increase to healthcare worker biases or healthcare worker racism. Healthcare access, obesity and other comorbidities, especially wholly untreated ones, etc.
I’m not sure what exactly the friend was disagreeing with, but it gets grayer than the bolded.

I thought a microaggression was, almost by definition, not a slight from a friend but a coworker or stranger.

Being your black friend on your next vacation to the countries where all our healthcare workers come from

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its wild that she disagreed with you, for so many reasons, but since you said this has happened before - I would guess its just her difficult personality type.

?

So now anyone who disagrees has a difficult personality?

Ya know, sometimes people are just dumb. Or clueless. That doesn’t mean they are difficult.

And sometimes facts don’t dictate a right or wrong answer, meaning different opinions are fine.

Unless this woman lives under a rock, its common knowledge that POC have a higher mortality rate when it comes to childbirth. Its a wild thing to disagree with a 1- an NP who studied this and 2- a POC who may have more insight. Some people are just contrary.

Like I said: some people are just dumb. The friend obviously doesn’t read legit news.

As to not immediately believing her friend, that could be explained by:

1. The fact she isn’t up to speed on the research, and

2. The fact that she lives in an area that isn’t racist and everyone has access to high quality healthcare.

What area might that be 🤣🤣🤣

Montgomery County…where uninsured women of color deliver babies at Holy Cross, a high quality hospital, without issue…and the county’s politics skew super-liberal and millions are invested annually to combat racism and prioritize DEI, etc.

2026 in MoCo is pretty fair and balanced.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound obnoxious and annoying.