Fear of SA with men in the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you have children, OP?

You don't sound mentally fit for it.

What kind of childhood will she have with you being hysterical all the time.

Many marriages end in divorce. How will you cope with that? Your child will be gone half the time.

X100

That sounds like predator prep talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who SA'd younger family members when we were kids. Now he baby sits his grand daughters and posts tons of doting photos on FB. It makes me sick because I know he is alone with them all day. I would never trust him alone with a child.

What do you do about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who SA'd younger family members when we were kids. Now he baby sits his grand daughters and posts tons of doting photos on FB. It makes me sick because I know he is alone with them all day. I would never trust him alone with a child.

What do you do about it?

He didn't do it to me, but as kids his other victims told us kids and we tried to run interference on him during family visits. One victim has passed away and the others are estranged from him and a lot of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who SA'd younger family members when we were kids. Now he baby sits his grand daughters and posts tons of doting photos on FB. It makes me sick because I know he is alone with them all day. I would never trust him alone with a child.

What do you do about it?

He didn't do it to me, but as kids his other victims told us kids and we tried to run interference on him during family visits. One victim has passed away and the others are estranged from him and a lot of the family.

What do you do to protect the children he babysits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who SA'd younger family members when we were kids. Now he baby sits his grand daughters and posts tons of doting photos on FB. It makes me sick because I know he is alone with them all day. I would never trust him alone with a child.

What do you do about it?

He didn't do it to me, but as kids his other victims told us kids and we tried to run interference on him during family visits. One victim has passed away and the others are estranged from him and a lot of the family.

What do you do to protect the children he babysits?

This! I am the PP who asked why OP had children.

My neighborhood best friend was molested by her father as were her sisters. The 3 boys in the family knew nothing about it.

The girls finally spoke up when he wanted to babysit the grandchildren. The boys were in disbelief but took heed.

My friend told me she never told me when we were kids because she knew I would alert my parents and they would do something about it.

OP needs to have her husband step up. Talk to the grandfather, put him on notice that they are very sensitive about how their daughter is touched.

Then teach the daughter to SPEAK UP. Abuse goes on because people stay silent.

My own alcoholic father made a pass atme when he was drunk and I was a teen. I immediately told him to get his hands off me and then went and found my mother and told her. She didn't want to believe it but both of them were afraid after that.

They knew what I would do if he tried that sh-t again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right to be concerned.
I wouldn’t want any man touching my child in anyway.

What? Is the father not supposed to go near the child because you have hang-ups? This is a grandparent we are talking about, not some rando. The great majority of men are amazing. I can understand not wanting you older child to have a sleepover with males due to your experience, but no contact with males? That's crazy.

Dads are okayish, but any other male (grandparent, uncle, brother, cousin), is a no. Them being family doesn’t really change anything. Being amazing doesn’t stop the fact that touch to men can mean many different things.

Somewhat agree. I only let men hold my girls when I was right beside them.

And completely agree that it’s underreported. Every woman in my generation in my family on my mom’s side was fondled or assaulted by uncles, brothers, grandfather. We are all hyper vigilant mothers. And I’m pretty sure an uncle on my dad’s side faced criminal charges.

How do you all feel about each other’s husbands/SOs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right to be concerned.
I wouldn’t want any man touching my child in anyway.

What? Is the father not supposed to go near the child because you have hang-ups? This is a grandparent we are talking about, not some rando. The great majority of men are amazing. I can understand not wanting you older child to have a sleepover with males due to your experience, but no contact with males? That's crazy.

Dads are okayish, but any other male (grandparent, uncle, brother, cousin), is a no. Them being family doesn’t really change anything. Being amazing doesn’t stop the fact that touch to men can mean many different things.

Somewhat agree. I only let men hold my girls when I was right beside them.

And completely agree that it’s underreported. Every woman in my generation in my family on my mom’s side was fondled or assaulted by uncles, brothers, grandfather. We are all hyper vigilant mothers. And I’m pretty sure an uncle on my dad’s side faced criminal charges.

Your family should not be reproducing. The pedo genes should have died off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who SA'd younger family members when we were kids. Now he baby sits his grand daughters and posts tons of doting photos on FB. It makes me sick because I know he is alone with them all day. I would never trust him alone with a child.

What do you do about it?

He didn't do it to me, but as kids his other victims told us kids and we tried to run interference on him during family visits. One victim has passed away and the others are estranged from him and a lot of the family.

Well did you tell the kids' parents?? Like when you see those photos, do you call up the parents of the kids - particularly the parent who married in - and tell them what he did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you have children, OP?

You don't sound mentally fit for it.

What kind of childhood will she have with you being hysterical all the time.

Many marriages end in divorce. How will you cope with that? Your child will be gone half the time.

X100

That sounds like predator prep talk.

No it sounds very informed. Continuing to inflict your trauma on innocent children is horrible. You’re inflicting irreparable damage on children that is next to imbalance to be unlearned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who SA'd younger family members when we were kids. Now he baby sits his grand daughters and posts tons of doting photos on FB. It makes me sick because I know he is alone with them all day. I would never trust him alone with a child.

Good Lord, why don’t you tell the parents? This is awful and you are complicit. Why in the world would you stay silent? Are you hoping for an inheritance? This is so sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right to be concerned.
I wouldn’t want any man touching my child in anyway.

What? Is the father not supposed to go near the child because you have hang-ups? This is a grandparent we are talking about, not some rando. The great majority of men are amazing. I can understand not wanting you older child to have a sleepover with males due to your experience, but no contact with males? That's crazy.

Dads are okayish, but any other male (grandparent, uncle, brother, cousin), is a no. Them being family doesn’t really change anything. Being amazing doesn’t stop the fact that touch to men can mean many different things.

Somewhat agree. I only let men hold my girls when I was right beside them.

And completely agree that it’s underreported. Every woman in my generation in my family on my mom’s side was fondled or assaulted by uncles, brothers, grandfather. We are all hyper vigilant mothers. And I’m pretty sure an uncle on my dad’s side faced criminal charges.

What in the Alabama is going on with your family? Good lord, that isn't normal in the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right to be concerned.
I wouldn’t want any man touching my child in anyway.

What? Is the father not supposed to go near the child because you have hang-ups? This is a grandparent we are talking about, not some rando. The great majority of men are amazing. I can understand not wanting you older child to have a sleepover with males due to your experience, but no contact with males? That's crazy.

Dads are okayish, but any other male (grandparent, uncle, brother, cousin), is a no. Them being family doesn’t really change anything. Being amazing doesn’t stop the fact that touch to men can mean many different things.

Somewhat agree. I only let men hold my girls when I was right beside them.

And completely agree that it’s underreported. Every woman in my generation in my family on my mom’s side was fondled or assaulted by uncles, brothers, grandfather. We are all hyper vigilant mothers. And I’m pretty sure an uncle on my dad’s side faced criminal charges.

What in the Alabama is going on with your family? Good lord, that isn't normal in the least.

Yes, something went wrong here.

[Anonymous]

That is super normal grandparent behavior. If your daughter was 9 and grandpa was still making her sit on his lap that would not be normal. But a baby? Yes of course grandparents are going to snuggle.

[Anonymous]

Why is is OK if a woman grooms a child???

[Anonymous]

SA victims become SA perpetrators, so grandpa is the wrong person to be focusing on here.