Fear of SA with men in the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you have children, OP?

You don't sound mentally fit for it.

What kind of childhood will she have with you being hysterical all the time.

Many marriages end in divorce. How will you cope with that? Your child will be gone half the time.

OP absolutley ignore this message. The person who wrote it is hateful and just wants to hurt you. There are a lot of sincere responses, focus on those. Anyone telling you you don't sound mentally fit is making a crazy unwarranted judgement on you. OP you actually sound incredibly rational, thoughtful, careful and aware that your past traumas may be coloring your view on this in an unproductive way. And you sound like you care deeply about providing the healthiest upbringing for your child. You're on the right path, keep working on all of this and don't let anyone make you think you're crazy. You're incredibly sane.

You sound unhinged.

No, OP is not "incredibly sane."

Yea the PP is on a tear right now. They are very far from being incredibly sane.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right to be concerned.
I wouldn’t want any man touching my child in anyway.

What? Is the father not supposed to go near the child because you have hang-ups? This is a grandparent we are talking about, not some rando. The great majority of men are amazing. I can understand not wanting you older child to have a sleepover with males due to your experience, but no contact with males? That's crazy.

Dads are okayish, but any other male (grandparent, uncle, brother, cousin), is a no. Them being family doesn’t really change anything. Being amazing doesn’t stop the fact that touch to men can mean many different things.

I truly can't imagine feeling this way. I was very close with all members of my family- male and female, and grew up to trust that there were more safe people in the world than not.

Same. How is OP’s child supposed to develop healthy relationships with males?

+my freshman year college roommate was raised by a mom who wouldn’t even leave her alone near her grandfather or uncles. She got to college and basically went crazy - didn’t even know how to have a normal/professional relationship with male professors or employers. She’s been a bit of a mess ever since, and a lot can be traced back to this. Her sister went to a lot of therapy and has been successful and happy, but my roommate, not so much. Please don’t pass this trauma on to your dd

My parents were the same with my three sisters and I, and we're all perfectly fine, happy, & well-adjusted adults with families of our own today.

OP, trust your gut and protect your baby!

[Anonymous]

If the husband is strong, the infant is safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right to be concerned.
I wouldn’t want any man touching my child in anyway.

What? Is the father not supposed to go near the child because you have hang-ups? This is a grandparent we are talking about, not some rando. The great majority of men are amazing. I can understand not wanting you older child to have a sleepover with males due to your experience, but no contact with males? That's crazy.

Dads are okayish, but any other male (grandparent, uncle, brother, cousin), is a no. Them being family doesn’t really change anything. Being amazing doesn’t stop the fact that touch to men can mean many different things.

I truly can't imagine feeling this way. I was very close with all members of my family- male and female, and grew up to trust that there were more safe people in the world than not.

Same. How is OP’s child supposed to develop healthy relationships with males?

+my freshman year college roommate was raised by a mom who wouldn’t even leave her alone near her grandfather or uncles. She got to college and basically went crazy - didn’t even know how to have a normal/professional relationship with male professors or employers. She’s been a bit of a mess ever since, and a lot can be traced back to this. Her sister went to a lot of therapy and has been successful and happy, but my roommate, not so much. Please don’t pass this trauma on to your dd

My parents were the same with my three sisters and I, and we're all perfectly fine, happy, & well-adjusted adults with families of our own today.

OP, trust your gut and protect your baby!

Yes all the way, trust your gut OP. You'll figure this out and your kids will be way the better for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is totally unhinged. End of story.

Harsh… but +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If the husband is strong, the infant is safe.

Not if husband punches the baby. Weak husbands are safer