Poll: What killed the sex life with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

We were having great amazing sex. I never suspected that he liked having sex with men as well until I found a gay app on his phone called sniffles. I guess he was bi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He died

I'm sorry. How old was he? And how old were you?

He was 62. I was 59.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He died

I'm sorry. How old was he? And how old were you?

He was 62. I was 59.

Sorry again. I can tell he was your other half. I am sure you do have great memories of those sexy moments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were having great amazing sex. I never suspected that he liked having sex with men as well until I found a gay app on his phone called sniffles. I guess he was bi.

I wish bisexual men didn't have to hide. But then if they didn't they wouldn't find a woman to marry. Bisexual women are not going to be turned away by straight women they way bisexual men will be turned away by straight women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?

WTF are you on about?

Only husbands who actually want to stay married to their wives should practice introspection and pursue active listening...

[Anonymous]

All my peri and menopause ladies with vaginal atrophy (ie sex is painful)…you DONT just have to live with this!! Talk to your OB GYN and if they are clueless use one of the telehealth platforms like Winona or MIDI Health. Twice a week cream or suppositories and you will be good to go. It also helps reduce UTIs as we get older. You can also try testosterone gel for low libido. Talk to your doctor! You don’t just have to accept this (unless you want to)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

Simp. What's your wife going to ask you next? Wipe her a**s..grow a pair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

Simp. What's your wife going to ask you next? Wipe her a**s..grow a pair

You must be divorced and/or an incel with that attitude and outlook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have thought more people would just respond that it’s because their hormonal desire is low. Statistically, the majority of women dont have natural day to day drive. I’d assume that’s the driving factor in the majority of cases, and all the other things above are just “excuses” that are covering up for the fact that you’re not naturally horny anymore.

I think women do have a natural day to day drive. When I’m single or in a good relationship, I have a very high drive.

Most women just lose interest after being with someone who doesn’t care about her needs (emotional, physical, etc), doesn’t pull his own weight, or is just a low quality man. Then it’s the body’s protective mechanism to avoid getting pregnant with a dud.

Get her around a cute guy who acts like a grown up and pays attention to her, and the daily drive comes back.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

It’s called CARING FOR Someone.

And no it’s not super hard unless all you care about is yourself, your ego, and your image.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?

Exactly. Everybody just do nothing and ignore each other. Race to the bottom. Radical idea indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

Simp. What's your wife going to ask you next? Wipe her a**s..grow a pair

Here’s the thing: these guys typically ARE emotionally supportive during the serious dating/engagement stage. Otherwise, the relationship probably wouldn’t last.

It feels just as much of a “bait and switch” to us, as a low sex drive after marriage feels to men. And often men drop the ball on the “emotional support” side of things first…they think they don’t have to do that stuff anymore now that they officially have the girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All my peri and menopause ladies with vaginal atrophy (ie sex is painful)…you DONT just have to live with this!! Talk to your OB GYN and if they are clueless use one of the telehealth platforms like Winona or MIDI Health. Twice a week cream or suppositories and you will be good to go. It also helps reduce UTIs as we get older. You can also try testosterone gel for low libido. Talk to your doctor! You don’t just have to accept this (unless you want to)!

This is very comforting. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.

Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?

That’s fine if you feel that way. Just don’t get married to someone who wants emotional support.

If you are dishonest and pull a bait and switch, then your wife has every right to leave or get her needs met elsewhere.