Poll: What killed the sex life with your spouse?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.



Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?


LOL imagine thinking "men should get whatever they want from women without any effort on their part" is a radical idea.
Anonymous
Cheating or infidelity.

Spouse is bad at sex

Boredom, monotony, not enough novelty.

Spouse doesn’t talk to you/distracted/on phone too much or doesn’t listen.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.



Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?


Is that not the point of this thread? Several women have posted their husbands stopped providing emotional support at some point. So, therefore sex has dried up. I've explained this to my husband multiple times that typically when dating, men "woo" a woman by taking her out on dates and then the woman reciprocates. This doesnt end once you get married. If you don't want to put in the effort to connect with me emotionally then I don't want to put in the effort to connect with you physically. I am literally telling him why he isn't getting laid, but he dismisses it as if i dont know what I'm talking about. Then later has the audacity to complain about his "needs". GMAFB.


You have “responsive desire.” It is critical for men to identify this trait and then avoid marriage with this kind of woman.


X100

This is another way to say that you shouldn’t get married to someone who can’t be responsible for their own happiness or is unable to self sooth. And women who didn’t explore their own bodies and masturbate starting young are the worst.


Boy you incels real are pieces of work. Maybe you should just stay celibat.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.


Just because a woman ‘feels’ something doesn’t make it true. Her ‘feelings’ could be due to her own mental issues. If a woman is rational and pragmatic, these so called ‘problems’ won’t exist.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Only one thing - he gained weight.


Mine went from 140 to 220. And the top of her vagina had a lot of fat. She was not attractive.

Gross unless its due to an underlying medical issue. Even worse is after getting fat wives expect husbands to complement them
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All my peri and menopause ladies with vaginal atrophy (ie sex is painful)…you DONT just have to live with this!! Talk to your OB GYN and if they are clueless use one of the telehealth platforms like Winona or MIDI Health. Twice a week cream or suppositories and you will be good to go. It also helps reduce UTIs as we get older. You can also try testosterone gel for low libido. Talk to your doctor! You don’t just have to accept this (unless you want to)!

Why would they do all that? Wouldn’t it be easier to blame their husbands for all the problems and claim emotional abuse?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.


Just because a woman ‘feels’ something doesn’t make it true. Her ‘feelings’ could be due to her own mental issues. If a woman is rational and pragmatic, these so called ‘problems’ won’t exist.


You're probably right. She will dovroce your emotionally stunted ass and her problems will go away.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.


Just because a woman ‘feels’ something doesn’t make it true. Her ‘feelings’ could be due to her own mental issues. If a woman is rational and pragmatic, these so called ‘problems’ won’t exist.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Omg, multiple incels on here 😆
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.



Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?


That’s fine if you feel that way. Just don’t get married to someone who wants emotional support.

If you are dishonest and pull a bait and switch, then your wife has every right to leave or get her needs met elsewhere.


Or… what if the wife is the one who seemed totally emotionally stable and then did a bait and switch expecting emotional support all of a sudden 10 years in?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.



Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?


LOL imagine thinking "men should get whatever they want from women without any effort on their part" is a radical idea.


Yeah, I guess the fact that women *feel* this is what is actually happening is a big part of the problem. By and large, UMC professional and professional adjacent women and their cohort feel a lot that doesn’t actually exist. They just think feelings matter more than fact.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.



Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?


LOL imagine thinking "men should get whatever they want from women without any effort on their part" is a radical idea.


Yeah, I guess the fact that women *feel* this is what is actually happening is a big part of the problem. By and large, UMC professional and professional adjacent women and their cohort feel a lot that doesn’t actually exist. They just think feelings matter more than fact.


You're the arbiter of those "facts," right?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.


Just because a woman ‘feels’ something doesn’t make it true. Her ‘feelings’ could be due to her own mental issues. If a woman is rational and pragmatic, these so called ‘problems’ won’t exist.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Omg, multiple incels on here 😆


I’m not sure you know what incel means.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.


Just because a woman ‘feels’ something doesn’t make it true. Her ‘feelings’ could be due to her own mental issues. If a woman is rational and pragmatic, these so called ‘problems’ won’t exist.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Omg, multiple incels on here 😆


I’m not sure you know what incel means.


DP but I'm pretty sure PP described you perfectly. Your wife doesn't want to sleep with you, therefore, you are involuntarily celibate.
Anonymous
It does not fall into any category you wrote but his health. He is depressed, he is taking a lot of medications, he is lethargic, he is always tired, he has no motivation. In turn, this is a huge turn off for me. It is hard to sleep with someone, say at night, when all day he just laid in bed and rot away. Then he questions why we do not have sex more. I do not want to sleep with a corpse.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll say this as a man who reluctantly did both individual and marriage therapy but later took it seriously and learned a lot, a lot us men seriously underestimate how much our wives expect us to be more emotionally supportive. My therapist told me if a woman doesn't feel like you are emotionally supportive she won't be as enthusiastic having sex with you. Eventually it leads to a dead bedroom.

The hard part is actually learning to be emotionally supportive. It's not as simple as it sounds. The way we men listen, our body language we need to pay attention to all of it.



Radical idea. We don’t *need* to be anything we don’t feel comfortable being. Men shouldn’t have to be forced to be emotionally supportive for marriages to work any more than women should be forced to have children/not have children, cook/clean, or other things. How absurd would it be if therapy focused on the fact that men would be more enthusiastic about sex if their wives did all the housework?


LOL imagine thinking "men should get whatever they want from women without any effort on their part" is a radical idea.


Yeah, I guess the fact that women *feel* this is what is actually happening is a big part of the problem. By and large, UMC professional and professional adjacent women and their cohort feel a lot that doesn’t actually exist. They just think feelings matter more than fact.


Lol
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