How can women not be duped by men?

[Anonymous]

In college all of a sudden these normal men from high school became crazy bro guys lying to women left and right . I couldn't believe how immature they were and just how untruthful. I assume it wasn't the parent's influence as much as the gang of guys that encouraged each other to behave this way. I'm not sure what decent women could have done. There were enough other women sleeping around and enough guys encouraging others on bad behavior that a lot of normal women didn't have much of a chance. I think Trump and other talk show hosts have carried on this broad gang mentality that continues to keep these men immature and the dating apps just give them the allusion that there is always a better option out there rather than looking in the mirror. That and the fact that jobs don't require having a lot of kids anymore make marriage less appealing to men now and more likely to lie.

[Anonymous]

Simple. If you feel like you are unhappy and don’t trust them, break up. What’s the confusion? I’m not saying breaking up is easy, but it’s not that confusing to figure out it’s what you should do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:90% of women are competing for the top 10% of men, and over 85% of men are INVISIBLE to women. Women always say that they want a loving and caring guy, and yet the guys who work at Walmart or Target are invisible to them. All women want a guy who is at least 6 ft tall (14% of the US population), makes at least 500K (1% of the population), 7 inches in the pant. Those guys have A LOT of options with women that they are NOT going to commit to a single woman. Yet, women these days are just delusional that they think they can get those guys to commit.

You need to go back to school and demand your teachers do better. If your story were true, only about 15% of the adult population would be married. Closer to 50% is. Let this incel talking point die, it’s an embarrassment.

It's more like 10% are dating the other top 10%. All men I dated in 3 years post divorce were PhDs, and literally one LinkedIn connection from me (regardless of which city in the US we lived). Funny but I met online and dated a man who worked in the same place as my father's colleague, and they all knew each other. They were all at least 6 ft tall, making way more than half a million. I am 47 and keep dating the same type. It's never hookups: in fact, all relationships were 6 months + .There is no need for me to "settle". In fact, I just turned down a hedge fund manager who wasn't very nice to me and went for a tenured college professor instead.

The jokes on that the 10 % suck as much as the not top tier men. They cheat and play incompetent also. Their narcissistic. And they hide behind community man and titles. Ask me how I know. I’m married to a top guy. It’s a facade. But hey not broke and grinding as hard as other women so that’s it.

[Anonymous]

The jokes on that the 10 % suck as much as the not top tier men. They cheat and play incompetent also. Their narcissistic. And they hide behind community man and titles. Ask me how I know. I’m married to a top guy. It’s a facade. But hey not broke and grinding as hard as other women so that’s it.

So, your position is that the top 10% and the next 90% of men suck.

A more logical answer is not that 100% of men suck. It is that you suck and find men who match you. With a DW like you, your husband cannot be a "top-tier" man.

[Anonymous]

I don't want a loving, caring guy, because those have been boring and slow in the head. I also don't want a tall guy or I would have stayed in Northern Europe. The Target /Walmart guys are sketchy as they usually have work permit and should have better options for work unless very young. They are like anti-capitalism dudes, who do bare minimum to survive. I had one of those.
I think the illegal construction guys are hot minus being chubby. The do physically hard work- no reason to be chubby.
The problem with the construction buys is that we really have nothing to talk about. They didn't go to school too long and at some point, it comes out that the poverty they grew up in, really scared them. Takes a while, but it will come out.
Money? I have money. I don't need them to have money. I need them to be in construction, but also have k-12.

I have a suggestion for a type of man for you to date. It is a high school English teacher. He will meet your minimum education standard (i.e., K-12), and I am sure you will find one who is not chubby. Even better, he can teach you English grammar rules because you have not learned them yet. Your post is so poorly written it is almost impossible to read.

You say you have money. How did you earn it? Based on your writing ability, I guess you have an OF account on which you debase yourself doing God knows what for an insane amount of cash.

Rock on, sister.

You could quickly pay for school supplies for your new BF's high school English class, which would be an excellent thing for you to do. However, please stay away on career day, as we want the young women in his class to grow up to be something other than OF sex workers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't want a loving, caring guy, because those have been boring and slow in the head. I also don't want a tall guy or I would have stayed in Northern Europe. The Target /Walmart guys are sketchy as they usually have work permit and should have better options for work unless very young. They are like anti-capitalism dudes, who do bare minimum to survive. I had one of those.
I think the illegal construction guys are hot minus being chubby. The do physically hard work- no reason to be chubby.
The problem with the construction buys is that we really have nothing to talk about. They didn't go to school too long and at some point, it comes out that the poverty they grew up in, really scared them. Takes a while, but it will come out.
Money? I have money. I don't need them to have money. I need them to be in construction, but also have k-12.

I have a suggestion for a type of man for you to date. It is a high school English teacher. He will meet your minimum education standard (i.e., K-12), and I am sure you will find one who is not chubby. Even better, he can teach you English grammar rules because you have not learned them yet. Your post is so poorly written it is almost impossible to read.

You say you have money. How did you earn it? Based on your writing ability, I guess you have an OF account on which you debase yourself doing God knows what for an insane amount of cash.

Rock on, sister.

You could quickly pay for school supplies for your new BF's high school English class, which would be an excellent thing for you to do. However, please stay away on career day, as we want the young women in his class to grow up to be something other than OF sex workers.

Overused. Does not make sense. Please find an English teacher to help you write correctly using standard adult- level English.

[Anonymous]

I'm a (F) lawyer who married a blue collar man. It's been 11 years and going strong. He loves the responsibility of being a father.

I highly recriminate marrying "below you" as defined by this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple. If you feel like you are unhappy and don’t trust them, break up. What’s the confusion? I’m not saying breaking up is easy, but it’s not that confusing to figure out it’s what you should do

This x1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The jokes on that the 10 % suck as much as the not top tier men. They cheat and play incompetent also. Their narcissistic. And they hide behind community man and titles. Ask me how I know. I’m married to a top guy. It’s a facade. But hey not broke and grinding as hard as other women so that’s it.

So, your position is that the top 10% and the next 90% of men suck.

A more logical answer is not that 100% of men suck. It is that you suck and find men who match you. With a DW like you, your husband cannot be a "top-tier" man.

Ok bud. He is and so am I. In terms of what the patriarchy says. So ok. Million dollar house, boards etc. I get hit on sooo much by men all the time so I don’t think they care how I’m like. What I mean saying is men’s nature is the same.

The way for these women not to get duped is set a timeline and see his actions over words. And even then sometimes that doesn’t work out when they decide they want something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a (F) lawyer who married a blue collar man. It's been 11 years and going strong. He loves the responsibility of being a father.

I highly recriminate marrying "below you" as defined by this forum.

So that’s the “solution”? Marrying down?

Thanks, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If men displayed a quarter of the weaponized incompetence they perform at home they would be fired immediately at work. That's why they save their feigned inability to complete basic tasks for the home, and guilt women into doing everything for them. Many of them will brag about what great husbands/fathers they are, meanwhile theyve literally never scheduled a single pediatrician appointment nor do they know their children's birthdays. But they will tell everyone how present they are, how they do half the work at home, how enlightened they are. That's because the version of themselves men present in public is very different from the version they give to their wives and to a certain extent children. So yes, if these men acted in the same dysfunctional ways they treat their wives with, everyone would treat them in a "bi**hy" way and they would be fired and unemployed very quickly. Men will do whatever they feel they can get away with, and that included taking advantage of nice/sweet girls by foisting labor on her, stringing her along, treating her badly. The only solution is to give them the same lack of grace their bosses/male associates give them, be equally as selfish and self serving, and make them aware they have to act right or theyll be thrown away.

If you pick a man who doesn't know the birthdays of his own children, you have no one to blame but yourself.

[Anonymous]

I

have a suggestion for a type of man for you to date. It is a high school English teacher. He will meet your minimum education standard (i.e., K-12), and I am sure you will find one who is not chubby. Even better, he can teach you English grammar rules because you have not learned them yet. Your post is so poorly written it is almost impossible to read.

You say you have money. How did you earn it? Based on your writing ability, I guess you have an OF account on which you debase yourself doing God knows what for an insane amount of cash.

Rock on, sister.

You could quickly pay for school supplies for your new BF's high school English class, which would be an excellent thing for you to do. However, please stay away on career day, as we want the young women in his class to grow up to be something other than OF sex workers.

Overused. Does not make sense. Please find an English teacher to help you write correctly using standard adult- level (sic) English.

You must close the space when writing hyphenated words.

Honey, you are way over your head here. You need to learn to walk (or, in your case, learn to toddle) before you try to run.

I edited your post as well as I could based on all of its problems:

I don't want a loving, caring guy, (detele the comma after guy) because those have been boring and slow in the head. I also don't want a tall guy or I would have stayed in Northern Europe. The Target /Walmart guys are sketchy as they usually have work permit(s) and should have better options for work unless (they are) very young. They are like anti-capitalism dudes (try the word "men"), who do (the) bare minimum to survive. I had one of those.
I think the illegal construction guys (the men that are in the US illegally and working in construction, or the men who are doing illegal construction work?) are hot minus being chubby. The (you mean "They") do physically hard work- (sic) no reason (for them) to be chubby .(sic)
The problem with the construction buys (you mean "guys") is that we really (remove the word "really") have nothing to talk about. (Why would they want to talk to you?) They didn't go to school too long (and you did?) and at some point, it comes out that the poverty they grew up in, really scared (you mean "scarred") them. (It) Takes a while, but it will come out.
Money? I have money. I don't need them to have money. I need them to be in construction, but also have k-12. (The "K" should be capitalized.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Simple. If you feel like you are unhappy and don’t trust them, break up. What’s the confusion? I’m not saying breaking up is easy, but it’s not that confusing to figure out it’s what you should do

This x1000

+1.

This is all you need to do

[Anonymous]

The truth is that this is the terrible defect/defect equilibrium that emerged from the complete relaxation of all social norms of behavior. We’ve so internalized the belief that people should do whatever they want to, to follow their bliss in all cases, with no one feeling empowered to judge the behavior of others especially in sexual matters, that this is what we have created. Stringing along a woman for years, with no intention of marrying her, is a profoundly dishonorable act, one with significant potential consequences. But there is no one left to say that with any kind of authority, no coherent social setting that can disincentivize or punish it, and so it is left to the individual to “just set boundaries or deadlines” as if that is easy in what is often a situation of extreme emotional complexity. The lack of structure has left many, many people entirely at sea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth is that this is the terrible defect/defect equilibrium that emerged from the complete relaxation of all social norms of behavior. We’ve so internalized the belief that people should do whatever they want to, to follow their bliss in all cases, with no one feeling empowered to judge the behavior of others especially in sexual matters, that this is what we have created. Stringing along a woman for years, with no intention of marrying her, is a profoundly dishonorable act, one with significant potential consequences. But there is no one left to say that with any kind of authority, no coherent social setting that can disincentivize or punish it, and so it is left to the individual to “just set boundaries or deadlines” as if that is easy in what is often a situation of extreme emotional complexity. The lack of structure has left many, many people entirely at sea.

Women choose to be strung along. They can be the decision maker and discuss marriage or ending the relationship. Women are not brainless passive voids, existing only at the will of men. They are able to competently and capably assess their lives and make decisions and choices that work for them. They can speak up and ask questions and voice opinions and use their autonomy to be an active participant in their own lives.