How can women not be duped by men?

[Anonymous]

Women need to realize that marriage is a relic of the past.

We don’t need to get married anymore. We can have our own money, property, kids, etc… without the help of a man. Marriage just keeps women enslaved to an institution that no longer benefits them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

This is just your opinion. My opinion is that this is not nearly enough time to get to know someone.

-a woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

This is just your opinion. My opinion is that this is not nearly enough time to get to know someone.

-a woman

Then you need new tools. If you don't know by 2 years, you won't ever know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The truth is that this is the terrible defect/defect equilibrium that emerged from the complete relaxation of all social norms of behavior. We’ve so internalized the belief that people should do whatever they want to, to follow their bliss in all cases, with no one feeling empowered to judge the behavior of others especially in sexual matters, that this is what we have created. Stringing along a woman for years, with no intention of marrying her, is a profoundly dishonorable act, one with significant potential consequences. But there is no one left to say that with any kind of authority, no coherent social setting that can disincentivize or punish it, and so it is left to the individual to “just set boundaries or deadlines” as if that is easy in what is often a situation of extreme emotional complexity. The lack of structure has left many, many people entirely at sea.

Women choose to be strung along. They can be the decision maker and discuss marriage or ending the relationship. Women are not brainless passive voids, existing only at the will of men. They are able to competently and capably assess their lives and make decisions and choices that work for them. They can speak up and ask questions and voice opinions and use their autonomy to be an active participant in their own lives.

lol. I’m not sure what the humans are like on whatever planet you come from—it sounds wonderful btw—but “poor decisionmaking in matters of the heart” is widely prevalent here on planet Earth, among both sexes, and indeed even those as rational as you are likely at some risk of being overcome in such a manner themselves, I’d bet. People need some level of social support and protection from catastrophic outcomes arising from individual lapses of judgment. I mean, I respect the austerity of your hard-core views, but I don’t think most people are qualified to work entirely without a net in that manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

This is just your opinion. My opinion is that this is not nearly enough time to get to know someone.

-a woman

Then you need new tools. If you don't know by 2 years, you won't ever know.

Opinion again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

This is just your opinion. My opinion is that this is not nearly enough time to get to know someone.

-a woman

NP - female, while the specific timeline might be different for different women, I agree with the framework. Women need to articulate the framework and the timing that works for them and to be prepared to pivot if their framework and timing are not shared/respected/factored in to reach a mutually acceptable timing.

[Anonymous]

And also, women should not assume commitment to the same goal and timing.
Do not assume commitment.
Have strong relationships (with friends and family) outside your couple. Have interests and aspirations (career, charity work, sports) outside your couple.
Be financially independent.
Men are great - just don’t overindex on men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women need to realize that marriage is a relic of the past.

We don’t need to get married anymore. We can have our own money, property, kids, etc… without the help of a man. Marriage just keeps women enslaved to an institution that no longer benefits them.

+1000
It truly is a scam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women need to realize that marriage is a relic of the past.

We don’t need to get married anymore. We can have our own money, property, kids, etc… without the help of a man. Marriage just keeps women enslaved to an institution that no longer benefits them.

Totally agree. We are sold a completely false narrative of what a marriage is. I wish I had never married. What an awful way to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women need to realize that marriage is a relic of the past.

We don’t need to get married anymore. We can have our own money, property, kids, etc… without the help of a man. Marriage just keeps women enslaved to an institution that no longer benefits them.

+1000
It truly is a scam

Except, if you want kids, we don’t have the kind of society that supports women. We have no community or flexibility. So doing it without a partner is insane.

[Anonymous]

The old radio psychologist once said something that rings true:

When it comes to women, there are two types of men, acceptable and unacceptable.

When it comes to men, there are three types of women, unacceptable, I'd marry you in a second, and I will date you forever but never marry you.

My one piece of dating advice to DD was to never waste her prime dating years being the third.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The old radio psychologist once said something that rings true:

When it comes to women, there are two types of men, acceptable and unacceptable.

When it comes to men, there are three types of women, unacceptable, I'd marry you in a second, and I will date you forever but never marry you.

My one piece of dating advice to DD was to never waste her prime dating years being the third.

Accurate. The key is to have realistic standards and stop thinking that just because a man wants to bang you that he sees you as marriage material. If a guy sees you as the most beautiful woman he can possibly get, you’re more likely to get commitment from him. You don’t need to be the best looking woman but you need to be among the best of his options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why so much dating advice for women basically boils down "be a bi**h". Because, unfortunately, nice women get taken advantage of, because men are inherently self centered and going to advocate for themselves. That's why you see so many men who sit around and do nothing while their wives exhaust themselves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And the men will feel literally zero guilt about it.

That's why the 4b movement is going viral- young women now have access to social media and are waking up to what a crock the "happy ever after" married life is for most women. And why young women are becoming increasingly hostile to young men and songs like "Peggy" by Chechnya are going viral, songs that talk about walking men like dogs and that kind of thing. Women are realizing they need to be ruthless back because if youre even slightly kind to men they read it as "doormat" and do whatever they want to. Be assertive, be "mean", be selfish. That's the best advice for young girls.

Wow. What sexist garbage. There are plenty of guys who are decent and not jerks. The pool of good dating partners just gets smaller for men and women as you get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is why so much dating advice for women basically boils down "be a bi**h". Because, unfortunately, nice women get taken advantage of, because men are inherently self centered and going to advocate for themselves. That's why you see so many men who sit around and do nothing while their wives exhaust themselves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And the men will feel literally zero guilt about it.

Does "be a bi**h" work in any other relationship? Does it work with your friends, coworkers, kids? No. It does not.

Sister, if your man is sitting around doing nothing while you exhaust yourself, he may think he married beneath himself and does not need to put forth any effort. And that is on you.

Please elaborate on your theory that men are inherently self-centered. Is your dad self-centered? Your brothers? Your sons?

Do you think the women your sons date (or marry) should be "a bi**h" to them? Or should they show the men they (and you) love respect and expect to receive it in return?

Yawn. More nonsensical blaming of women for men's bad behavior. The truth is Beyonce got cheated on. Megan Fox got cheated on. Shakira got cheated on. There is no amount of perfect a woman can be to make up for men's deficiency. And that's what women are starting to realize. It's the same reason men leave their wives when they get sick with terminal diseases, and the same reasons men are failing out of school and living life on the margins. They simply cannot measure up.

Women cheat too. Celebrity males have women throwing themselves at them all day long. There was a local weather guy who was homely and kind of weird who constantly had a line of young women chasing him. A weather guy! Bringing famous guys into the discussion isnt valid because their celebrity so skews things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The old radio psychologist once said something that rings true:

When it comes to women, there are two types of men, acceptable and unacceptable.

When it comes to men, there are three types of women, unacceptable, I'd marry you in a second, and I will date you forever but never marry you.

My one piece of dating advice to DD was to never waste her prime dating years being the third.

Accurate. The key is to have realistic standards and stop thinking that just because a man wants to bang you that he sees you as marriage material. If a guy sees you as the most beautiful woman he can possibly get, you’re more likely to get commitment from him. You don’t need to be the best looking woman but you need to be among the best of his options.

The problem is even when you have this understanding, men can dupe you. There are so many women I know that married men and the men just did it for comfort. They wanted to get married but not be a true partner.