How can women not be duped by men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am listening to Rachael Kirkconnell's heartbroken conversation on the Call Her Daddy podcast. It makes me really sad to see how she was kept in constant confusion, gaslit and strung along for 5 years before being suddenly broken up with by Matt James, the first black The Bachelor.

She is only 28 and a stunning young woman who seemed to have genuinely believed he loved her and it seems he constantly talked about babies and marriage and proposals.

Her story is being shared on social media by millions of women who feel heard and seen in her description of her tumultuous relationship.

How can we as women protect ourselves from men stringing us along? How can we become empowered in romantic relationships where even today, the man holds the keys to commitment and marriage?

She’s one of the lucky ones. Not those of us that found the lies out down the road with kids and a divorce—-that they lied about who they were. She’s young and set free.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don’t know, other than TIME- Some people will put on an act to get what they want, and no matter what you’ll only see what they want you to see. Drawing a relationship out slowly over a period of months to a year before plunging in seems to be the best test - usually jerks lose interest. Or only dating people you’ve known for many years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold out until you find the perfect man who meets 100% of your long list of requirements. A lot of women do that.

Of course, the rate of unmarried single women has gone up lately.. but at least they aren't settling for less than ideal circumstances.

They report higher levels of personal satisfaction and happiness than their married colleagues so they were absolutely right not to settle.

[Anonymous]

She’s one of the lucky ones. Not those of us that found the lies out down the road with kids and a divorce—-that they lied about who they were. She’s young and set free.

It is unlikely these men lied. It is much more likely they made a bad choice for a wife. Now, they feel trapped as well. However, posters (like the one above) blame their husbands for the crappy marriages without looking at how their conduct contributed to the failure.

The surest sign of being at fault is to blame someone else for a poor outcome, just like this poster did.

[Anonymous]

This is why so much dating advice for women basically boils down "be a bi**h". Because, unfortunately, nice women get taken advantage of, because men are inherently self centered and going to advocate for themselves. That's why you see so many men who sit around and do nothing while their wives exhaust themselves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And the men will feel literally zero guilt about it.

That's why the 4b movement is going viral- young women now have access to social media and are waking up to what a crock the "happy ever after" married life is for most women. And why young women are becoming increasingly hostile to young men and songs like "Peggy" by Chechnya are going viral, songs that talk about walking men like dogs and that kind of thing. Women are realizing they need to be ruthless back because if youre even slightly kind to men they read it as "doormat" and do whatever they want to. Be assertive, be "mean", be selfish. That's the best advice for young girls.

[Anonymous]

This is why so much dating advice for women basically boils down "be a bi**h". Because, unfortunately, nice women get taken advantage of, because men are inherently self centered and going to advocate for themselves. That's why you see so many men who sit around and do nothing while their wives exhaust themselves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And the men will feel literally zero guilt about it.

Does "be a bi**h" work in any other relationship? Does it work with your friends, coworkers, kids? No. It does not.

Sister, if your man is sitting around doing nothing while you exhaust yourself, he may think he married beneath himself and does not need to put forth any effort. And that is on you.

Please elaborate on your theory that men are inherently self-centered. Is your dad self-centered? Your brothers? Your sons?

Do you think the women your sons date (or marry) should be "a bi**h" to them? Or should they show the men they (and you) love respect and expect to receive it in return?

[Anonymous]

Regular non reality people are duped every day. It sucks.. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is why so much dating advice for women basically boils down "be a bi**h". Because, unfortunately, nice women get taken advantage of, because men are inherently self centered and going to advocate for themselves. That's why you see so many men who sit around and do nothing while their wives exhaust themselves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And the men will feel literally zero guilt about it.

Does "be a bi**h" work in any other relationship? Does it work with your friends, coworkers, kids? No. It does not.

Sister, if your man is sitting around doing nothing while you exhaust yourself, he may think he married beneath himself and does not need to put forth any effort. And that is on you.

Please elaborate on your theory that men are inherently self-centered. Is your dad self-centered? Your brothers? Your sons?

Do you think the women your sons date (or marry) should be "a bi**h" to them? Or should they show the men they (and you) love respect and expect to receive it in return?

Yawn. More nonsensical blaming of women for men's bad behavior. The truth is Beyonce got cheated on. Megan Fox got cheated on. Shakira got cheated on. There is no amount of perfect a woman can be to make up for men's deficiency. And that's what women are starting to realize. It's the same reason men leave their wives when they get sick with terminal diseases, and the same reasons men are failing out of school and living life on the margins. They simply cannot measure up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is why so much dating advice for women basically boils down "be a bi**h". Because, unfortunately, nice women get taken advantage of, because men are inherently self centered and going to advocate for themselves. That's why you see so many men who sit around and do nothing while their wives exhaust themselves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And the men will feel literally zero guilt about it.

Does "be a bi**h" work in any other relationship? Does it work with your friends, coworkers, kids? No. It does not.

Sister, if your man is sitting around doing nothing while you exhaust yourself, he may think he married beneath himself and does not need to put forth any effort. And that is on you.

Please elaborate on your theory that men are inherently self-centered. Is your dad self-centered? Your brothers? Your sons?

Do you think the women your sons date (or marry) should be "a bi**h" to them? Or should they show the men they (and you) love respect and expect to receive it in return?

It’s because with co-workers it’s called having high expectations or having boundaries, depending on the circumstances. If a woman expects her direct reports to be on time and produce high quality work, she’s a boss, if she has expectations for her husband? A bI+ch.

And if my brother or son was the type of person to sit around while his spouse worked I for darn sure hope he wouldn’t be with the kind of doormat who enables this behavior and— worse— teaches boys that’s how they can behave. I expect my daughter to have extremely high standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is why so much dating advice for women basically boils down "be a bi**h". Because, unfortunately, nice women get taken advantage of, because men are inherently self centered and going to advocate for themselves. That's why you see so many men who sit around and do nothing while their wives exhaust themselves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. And the men will feel literally zero guilt about it.

Does "be a bi**h" work in any other relationship? Does it work with your friends, coworkers, kids? No. It does not.

Sister, if your man is sitting around doing nothing while you exhaust yourself, he may think he married beneath himself and does not need to put forth any effort. And that is on you.

Please elaborate on your theory that men are inherently self-centered. Is your dad self-centered? Your brothers? Your sons?

Do you think the women your sons date (or marry) should be "a bi**h" to them? Or should they show the men they (and you) love respect and expect to receive it in return?

If men displayed a quarter of the weaponized incompetence they perform at home they would be fired immediately at work. That's why they save their feigned inability to complete basic tasks for the home, and guilt women into doing everything for them. Many of them will brag about what great husbands/fathers they are, meanwhile theyve literally never scheduled a single pediatrician appointment nor do they know their children's birthdays. But they will tell everyone how present they are, how they do half the work at home, how enlightened they are. That's because the version of themselves men present in public is very different from the version they give to their wives and to a certain extent children. So yes, if these men acted in the same dysfunctional ways they treat their wives with, everyone would treat them in a "bi**hy" way and they would be fired and unemployed very quickly. Men will do whatever they feel they can get away with, and that included taking advantage of nice/sweet girls by foisting labor on her, stringing her along, treating her badly. The only solution is to give them the same lack of grace their bosses/male associates give them, be equally as selfish and self serving, and make them aware they have to act right or theyll be thrown away.

[Anonymous]

And if my brother or son was the type of person to sit around while his spouse worked I for darn sure hope he wouldn’t be with the kind of doormat who enables this behavior and— worse— teaches boys that’s how they can behave. I expect my daughter to have extremely high standards.

If your son behaved this way, it would have been you who would have taught him how.

[Anonymous]

It’s because with co-workers it’s called having high expectations or having boundaries, depending on the circumstances. If a woman expects her direct reports to be on time and produce high quality work, she’s a boss, if she has expectations for her husband? A bI+ch.

Your post does not make sense. Expectations are one thing. Being a bi+ch is another. And you know the difference.

[Anonymous]

If men displayed a quarter of the weaponized incompetence they perform at home they would be fired immediately at work. That's why they save their feigned inability to complete basic tasks for the home, and guilt women into doing everything for them. Many of them will brag about what great husbands/fathers they are, meanwhile theyve literally never scheduled a single pediatrician appointment nor do they know their children's birthdays. But they will tell everyone how present they are, how they do half the work at home, how enlightened they are. That's because the version of themselves men present in public is very different from the version they give to their wives and to a certain extent children. So yes, if these men acted in the same dysfunctional ways they treat their wives with, everyone would treat them in a "bi**hy" way and they would be fired and unemployed very quickly. Men will do whatever they feel they can get away with, and that included taking advantage of nice/sweet girls by foisting labor on her, stringing her along, treating her badly. The only solution is to give them the same lack of grace their bosses/male associates give them, be equally as selfish and self serving, and make them aware they have to act right or theyll be thrown away.

Your hatred of men is sickening. I pray to God you do not have sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And if my brother or son was the type of person to sit around while his spouse worked I for darn sure hope he wouldn’t be with the kind of doormat who enables this behavior and— worse— teaches boys that’s how they can behave. I expect my daughter to have extremely high standards.

If your son behaved this way, it would have been you who would have taught him how.

Again is there any male behavior for which you don’t blame women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

Yep, that's more than enough time. Long engagements don't make much sense to me.