How can women not be duped by men?

[Anonymous]

I am listening to Rachael Kirkconnell's heartbroken conversation on the Call Her Daddy podcast. It makes me really sad to see how she was kept in constant confusion, gaslit and strung along for 5 years before being suddenly broken up with by Matt James, the first black The Bachelor.

She is only 28 and a stunning young woman who seemed to have genuinely believed he loved her and it seems he constantly talked about babies and marriage and proposals.

Her story is being shared on social media by millions of women who feel heard and seen in her description of her tumultuous relationship.

How can we as women protect ourselves from men stringing us along? How can we become empowered in romantic relationships where even today, the man holds the keys to commitment and marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anyone who would go on The Bachelor or similar shows are not ordinary having ordinary relationships.

[Anonymous]

Forget the words and forget anyone who shows no trepidation, no thought, no hesitation when making big life decisions. It means they are not taking these seriously enough to consider them deeply.

Anyone can buy chocolate and flowers and talk sweet nothings.

Those who are truly preparing to devote their life to a mutual project of raising a family and being there for better or for worse will not do it lightly.

[Anonymous]

Watch what they do not what they say. Applies in all situations. Talk is free. Actions have prices.

[Anonymous]

when people show you who they are, believe them

[Anonymous]

Depending on your age, your grandmother or great-grandmother knew the answer to this question.

[Anonymous]

Don't be an insane clout chaser. Live a normal life with normal people, and if you are stupid like Kirkconnell, trust your family to make matches for you.

[Anonymous]

Have a deadline

[Anonymous]

yea, men say they don't want to be pushed for a timeframe, but then they just string you along.

Happened to my cousin. She eventually broke it off with him after a few years of him just stringing her along. She married someone not that long after. I have no idea if it was a rebound, though.

I was also kind of strung along in my early 20s. I think it's mostly insecurity and low self esteem that allows us women to be treated this way. I finally got a backbone in my mid 20s and said enough is enough. Also didn't help that my early 20s was unstable in other ways, too. I think once my head was in a better place, I could see that this relationship was bad for me.

I started dating my now DH a few years later. He didn't mess around. He knew what he wanted (me ), and he pursued it, unlike the other guy.

-married 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Know your worth, understand yourself and your own priorities, and do not compromise.

[Anonymous]

As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

+1
2 years

And this isn't an ultimatum.

You don't tell them time is running out on them. You really don't want someone who was forced to be with you. You just know you need to cut your losses and move on thoroughly.

[Anonymous]

I think the biggest thing is to have options.

Have a career so you don’t make decisions based on money.

Have close friends so you aren’t staying with a man because you’ll be lonely.

Keep close ties with your family.

Have interests and hobbies beyond just dating.

Usually the problem is these women are so fixated on landing a Prince Charming, they don’t develop themselves as people and have no other identity. If you have your own money, a strong support system, and interests beyond just girlfriend/wife, you won’t be as inclined to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

+1
2 years

And this isn't an ultimatum.

You don't tell them time is running out on them. You really don't want someone who was forced to be with you. You just know you need to cut your losses and move on thoroughly.

This. Deadline just means divorce down the road.

[Anonymous]

Hold out until you find the perfect man who meets 100% of your long list of requirements. A lot of women do that.

Of course, the rate of unmarried single women has gone up lately.. but at least they aren't settling for less than ideal circumstances.