How can women not be duped by men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the first 6 months: Tell him “no.” State your opinions firmly. Don’t rescue him if he finds himself in a tough situation of his own creation.

The problem is that in the early stages of a relationship women are taught to not need anything and to give everything bc the goal used to be to catch a man. Even a crappy man was better than being a spinster and women are still socialized with that mindset.

The reality is that the early stages of the relationship are the place where you need to push back, say no, be unhelpful. Because a weak, selfish man will be utterly infuriated and will either show his weakness so you can dump him or he will weed himself out. A man worth your time can hear no and be respectful about it. He won’t automatically reject opinions offered by women. If he messes up, he will understand that it’s his responsibility to solve it.

Don’t do anything for a new boyfriend that you wouldn’t do for a newish friend. If Denise from marketing was sick would you go over and take her temperature hourly and make her soup and clean her apartment while you’re there? No. You would text her a get-well message, maybe drop off soup, and check in after a few days to see if she is on the mend. Treat a boyfriend like that. If he is likes you as a person it won’t drive him away; if he only likes you for your labor then good riddance!

That’s a very good point about making sure you say no to them about things when you need to. Someone posted it here that you never know how good any relationship is until you have to say no to a person. How they handle not getting their way, whether love interest or friend, is an important piece of data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a father of three girls who are approaching dating age, I'll say this: it's a two year clock maximum.

Date up to one year before engagement. Engagement comes with a wedding date that is less than one year away.

This is a basic love and courtesy, no exceptions situation.

This is just your opinion. My opinion is that this is not nearly enough time to get to know someone.

-a woman

He wants his 17 year old married by 19. He decides what love and courtesy are for others, he feels he can control his daughters lives…exactly the kind of man to avoid.

[Anonymous]

I mean maybe if each parent agrees to spend roughly $400k on each child no matter what happens in the marriage towards raising them and an additional $10k per year if you want to stop being involved in parenting till age 20. Otherwise, men and women will try to dupe each other whether dating or being married because there is always sex, work, and children to manipulate.