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Were you spanked as a child?
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Anonymous
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Yes, with a wooden spoon.
No trauma either! Lol |
Anonymous
| Yes I am 50 from Michigan. Was spanked with leather belts by both parents but usually my mother until at least age 10(maybe 12). Grandmother rarely spanked but if she did she used a thin branch from a tree. I vowed at a young age to never spank my kids. But parents think they were right and I’m wrong , and slapped my toddlers hands once, so since then I never allowed them to be alone with my child. |
Anonymous
| Yes. My mother spanked us for the dumbest things. It’s humiliating. I never spanked my children. |
Anonymous
| ^^^VA |
Anonymous
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Yes. I'm 44, grew up in California. White family, not immigrants. Both parents grew up in big Catholic families where spanking was the norm.
All my siblings and I were spanked, often with a belt by my dad. Agree with other posters that it does dmt help me learn and was generally a sign of my parents losing control and running out of ideas. But the thing I think impacted me most was seeing them hit my siblings. If I was being spanked, I just remember fear and pain. But seeing a sibling get hit allowed me to view the situation as an outsider and really highlighted for me what a parenting failure it was. I remember two instances when I was around 12 years old where I basically lost all respect for my parents. One was my dad spanking my 9 yr old brother because he was not doing a good job sweeping the kitchen. It was so obviously my dad being angry about other stuff, wanting to take it out on someone, and choosing my brother. It was stupid and lazy and that was obvious to me at the time. I actually intervened and told my dad to stop and that I would make sure the floor got swept. The other was watching my mom slap my sister across the face for failing to clean her room before going to some activity practice. Sister was 16 or 17 at the time. Again it was just so obviously my mom taking her own anger and frustration about other things out on my sister. In that instance, I remember thinking how weird it was to see my mom hitting someone who was practically an adult, and also thinking how my sister seemed my mature in that moment even though she was only a few years older than me. My parents had kids young, were very immature, didn't know how to resolve conflict, model positive behavior, develop mutually respectful relationships. I feel sorry for them even as I also feel sorry for my siblings and me that we had such poor parenting. |
Anonymous
This sums up my feelings on the matter, too. I also have never spanked or even had the urge to. Even from a young age it was so obvious to me that my parents spanked us out of anger and a loss of self control. I think it’s ineffective and wrong, but I have much less of an issue with, say, evangelical Christian parents I’ve met who take the biblical punishment thing literally and will threaten and spank their kids later in the day at home as a calculated, measured form of punishment. But just losing your temper and hitting your kids is pathetic. I had lost all respect and love for my parents by about age 5, and our relationship never recovered. I did not talk to them for a decade once I moved out and still have no interest in a relationship. |
Anonymous
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41, yes was spanked by hand & wooden spoon. Some were controlled swats, some were out of control whackings.
Grew up in western Canada. Not close at all to my parents now. Still have very vivid memories of them being out of control or spanking in ways that shamed and humiliated me. No respect for my parents. They are protestant christian, I am not. No more religion for me. Their sickness is their problem. Will not be supporting them in their old age. |
Anonymous
Just about all the studies run into three major issues, two of which are correlation problems: the first is that physical punishment is closer to a last resort; children who naturally toe the line or wilt into anxiety-ridden puddles at a cross look are seldom spanked. The second is that those inclined to follow the Current Best Advice, whatever it is, are fundamentally different from those who don't. The third problem is meta: "spanking being effective" is contrary to the zeitgeist and thus damages the career of any researcher who might seek to publish it. And has - witness what happened not all that long ago when there was a paper that purported to show spanked children who belonged to a certain subpopulation had better outcomes - a brief spate of angry articles from antiracists and the subject was quietly dropped. |
Anonymous
| Yep I was spanked 41 from the Midwest I turned out fine. |
Anonymous
| 56 spanked by mother, spanked by father who also used to lose his temper and hit me across the face / head with the back of his hand. Very memorable as it didn't stop til I was 24. |
Anonymous
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My mom would lose her temper and slap us. I remember being 10 or so and realizing it was my mom in the situation that wasn't acting rationally, she wasn't at all consistent about it and usually it was just her losing control.
I don't hit my kids. |
Anonymous
| I was slapped, hair yanked, spanked, and pinched/squeezed inside the arm by my mother plenty of times but she claims she never hit us because hitting uses objects and she used only her hands. |
Anonymous
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I was spanked as a child and sometimes with a belt. I was also sent to face a corner or told to stand in a physically difficult position as punishment. Honestly, these things weren't great, but ultimately I think the verbal and emotional abuse was worse.
My parents were UMC in the DMV in the 80s. I have okay relationships with each of them now. They failed to break the cycle of abuse but did better than their childhoods. I will never hit my child. Seems counter intuitive since I've been encouraging him to be gentle and kind since he was a toddler. What would hitting him do except demonstrate hypocrisy? I do my best to model emotional maturity and self discipline. If his behavior is out of line, the consequence is usually a loss of privileges or telling him to go to his room to calm down. I hope it will be effective without damaging our relationship. I would never want my kid to be afraid of me. |
Anonymous
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Not spanked but kicked. My immigrant father lose his temper and kick us up the stairs and separate us into different rooms and kick one until he was satisfied and then the other.
My immigrant mother was a ball of rage and depression and would tear us apart emotionally (we’re useless, ugly, worthless, etc) whether she thought we did something wrong or not. |
Anonymous
| I think some people in this thread were beaten as children and are calling that spanking. |