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General Parenting Discussion
Were you spanked as a child?
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Anonymous
| I was and so was DH. I’m wondering how common this is. If you were, where are you from (geographically: north east, west coast etc?) |
Anonymous
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Not really but one time I was being a brat and my mom swatted me on the leg and she still feels bad about it 35 years later. I was like 4 and have no memory of this (and a great relationship with my parents).
Grew up in NY. |
Anonymous
|
Absolutely. And with whatever they had, hairbrush, spatula, belt, hand. More often the object was raised and shook at me. Sometimes it was used.
51, NoVa |
Anonymous
Yes. Grew up in Howard County MD. All kids in the neighborhood got spanked. Got spanked out in public too. I tried not to spank, but did spank my son a couple of times. And not in any sort of "good" way. It was because I couldn't handle him at the time. It took a lot of time, self-education, and patience to learn other ways to discipline. But they exist and they are effective. They just take more work on the parents' part. |
Anonymous
|
My father spanked me once for running into the street. My nanny spanked me once for opening the pool gate. They both remembered it vividly into my adulthood, my father and I are extremely close and my once-nanny is my daughters godmother.
My mother spanked me routinely as a child and we were never close after I left home. |
Anonymous
| Yup. Wasn’t a big deal then and isn’t a big deal now. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Europe. It didn't mark me, as far as I can tell. But the face slaps did. I hated those. |
Anonymous
| We are South Asian Muslims. Never got spanked, my parents were polite and kind in general and I was an easy going kid with good behavior and good grades so there was never a need for discipline. |
Anonymous
|
I was spanked fairly routinely for bad behavior.
56 Grew up in CT Never spanked my own kids. I see it as a loss of control by the parents. |
Anonymous
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Yes, because that was considered the responsible way to parent by everyone around us. 1980s, a suburb of Orlando. I always knew why I was being spanked. No mark was ever left, and looking back the swats were very mild. However, it definitely made me physically afraid of my parents when they were angry. Did that fear “work” in changing my behavior? Probably. But I don’t think it’s worth it.
I was raised in a very loving and supportive family. I think of the spankings IN MY FAMILY (I know it was not the case in many families) the same way I think about putting babies down on their stomachs to sleep so they wouldn’t choke on their spit-up— they did the best they knew to do. I know there are things we do that my kids will probably look back on similarly. I hope they give us the same grace I give my parents. |
Anonymous
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Yes, but it was rare and usually just a threat. And I was considered a “good” kid.
Heck, corporal punishment was meted out in public and public schools. I remember three boys paddled in front of the class in 1982. - mid50s, Michigan |
Anonymous
| Yes. I’m 61 and from New Jersey. |
Anonymous
|
It doesn’t work and is illegal in most of South America and Europe.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8386132/ It promotes anti-social behaviors amongst many other harms |
Anonymous
| No way. And when I adopted my kids I signed a contract agreeing to no physical punishment. |
Anonymous
|
East Coast, early 50s.
My parents didn’t spank, but my mother pulled hair fairly regularly as a punishment; she’d just grab a fistful and yank. She brushed hair really roughly too, yanked knots out with a hard brush, even if we cried. We were pretty good kids, too, it just seemed to be a release of frustration for her. I was always extra gentle with my kids’ hair and never spanked. |