Were you spanked as a child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, child of immigrants. Mostly with a belt that left welts on my legs. My dad made my brother kneel and beat him with an iron. Total abuse and I never forgave my father and had an only okay relationship with my mom. My husband was too. We do not spank our kids, working to not yell at them. How do you all do it. I have teenagers and it's hard!

I heard a pretty famous family therapist say he can tell which families didn’t spank when he meets families with teenagers. Not because it’s the actual spanking but because it’s a good barometer on families who are generally not good at disciplining their kids, and teaching right from wrong. Sounds like you missed the boat on training well-behaved kids.

Is this seriously your takeaway from my post? Who said my kids are not well behaved? There are ways to have well behaved and moral kids without spanking.

[Anonymous]

I’m 57 and was spanked. My family is from the Northeast but my parents were raised by parents who were from the south. We didn’t get spanked a lot but when we did it was intense. My mother now regrets it but says it was the norm back then. I don’t spank my children.

[Anonymous]

California. Now age 40. We were spanked on occasion . But not very hard and my siblings and I don’t feel traumatized by it, honestly. my DH was spanked regularly-the go-to punishment. He doesn’t feel traumatized by it either. But maybe because it never went outside spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, child of immigrants. Mostly with a belt that left welts on my legs. My dad made my brother kneel and beat him with an iron. Total abuse and I never forgave my father and had an only okay relationship with my mom. My husband was too. We do not spank our kids, working to not yell at them. How do you all do it. I have teenagers and it's hard!

I heard a pretty famous family therapist say he can tell which families didn’t spank when he meets families with teenagers. Not because it’s the actual spanking but because it’s a good barometer on families who are generally not good at disciplining their kids, and teaching right from wrong. Sounds like you missed the boat on training well-behaved kids.

Is this seriously your takeaway from my post? Who said my kids are not well behaved? There are ways to have well behaved and moral kids without spanking.

Hm, well it sounds like you’re not the keeper of that secret!

[Anonymous]

Mom broke every one of her wooden spoons on her kids. Back in the 70s-80s in Waynewood.

[Anonymous]

Europe in the 80s and yes, once or twice for things like running into the street.

[Anonymous]

58 years old. Grew up near Baltimore.

My sibling and I got spanked with a belt on a fairly regular basis. Of course, we didn't want to get spanked but it did not discourage bad behaviors at all. I did not have a close relationship with my parents, even in adulthood.

I absolutely never raised a hand (and barely ever even raised my voice) with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but without a good reason. Being a little bit louder than parents liked, was enough for my father to pull my hair or mother to take out the belt.
They had their own marriage problems. We were not bad kids.
I'm 47, grew up in Soviet Union.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, child of immigrants. Mostly with a belt that left welts on my legs. My dad made my brother kneel and beat him with an iron. Total abuse and I never forgave my father and had an only okay relationship with my mom. My husband was too. We do not spank our kids, working to not yell at them. How do you all do it. I have teenagers and it's hard!

I heard a pretty famous family therapist say he can tell which families didn’t spank when he meets families with teenagers. Not because it’s the actual spanking but because it’s a good barometer on families who are generally not good at disciplining their kids, and teaching right from wrong. Sounds like you missed the boat on training well-behaved kids.

Most family therapists have completely screwed up families themselves.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but not often.

[Anonymous]

Yes, spanked and whipped with a leather belt. Then face slapped as a teen. I’m estranged from this parent. This isn’t the reason necessarily, but it definitely made a negative impact on our relationship

[Anonymous]

My mother swears I wasn't.

My brother and I disagree.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked a lot as a child, for most infractions. If I lied, I was spanked with a wooden paddle. My parents to this day insist they “rarely” spanked and “hardly ever” used the paddle. I’m pretty certain they feel guilt for excessive punishing, though at the time it was the Christian way to parent. I was raised on the west coast. We don’t spank our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was spanked a lot as a child, for most infractions. If I lied, I was spanked with a wooden paddle. My parents to this day insist they “rarely” spanked and “hardly ever” used the paddle. I’m pretty certain they feel guilt for excessive punishing, though at the time it was the Christian way to parent. I was raised on the west coast. We don’t spank our children.

I'm glad we have a new Jesus now.

[Anonymous]

No. 37, grew up in MoCo. Sibling and I were never spanked or physically disciplined in any way. Discipline was sharp verbal correction (sometimes yelling but sometimes not to that level), loss of privileges like TV or dessert, being sent to your room and then lectured. We were pretty easy kids, so this was enough.

My parents, born in the 1950s, were also not spanked by their parents, which I think was pretty unusual for that generation. My mother was militantly anti-spanking and very disdainful of it, which I'm assuming was an attitude passed down from her own parents. I remember watching a kid get spanked in the library parking lot when I was 7 or 8 and asking my mother what was happening, and her explanation was basically that spanking was something trashy that some ignorant parents did to punish their kids because they couldn't be bothered to figure out more effective methods or control their anger, and it was not something our family did. I don't spank, either, but I do think there are rare times (e.g. running out into the street) where it might be used without that categorization applying.