Call from DD’s Korean boyfriend’s parents- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

I had a Korean friend put in this position and he dated his gf in secret for 7 years. His parents found out when they got the wedding invitation. He didn’t even tell his friends because he had told one friend early on and the friend accidentally leaked it to someone who leaked it to his parents so after that it was strict come pf silence. He said he was getting married and we all thought he was joking.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing that OP's DD is white and the boy's parents don't want him being serious with someone who isn't Korean.

My Korean American friend married a black guy and her parents shut her out of their lives. She had a baby and was hoping that would mend the relationship but so far, no. The baby is almost 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a Korean friend put in this position and he dated his gf in secret for 7 years. His parents found out when they got the wedding invitation. He didn’t even tell his friends because he had told one friend early on and the friend accidentally leaked it to someone who leaked it to his parents so after that it was strict come pf silence. He said he was getting married and we all thought he was joking.

I don't think these types of situations are necessarily related to the ethnicity.

My Korean friend's parents did not like the girl he was dating; she was also Korean. So, he eventually broke it off, only to be heartbroken himself. He was in such a bad way his parents eventually gave in, but by that time, the girl had moved on and gotten married to someone else.

I'm sure stuff like this happens in other cultures/ethnicities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing that OP's DD is white and the boy's parents don't want him being serious with someone who isn't Korean.

My Korean American friend married a black guy and her parents shut her out of their lives. She had a baby and was hoping that would mend the relationship but so far, no. The baby is almost 2.

Have seen this so many times. Spoiler alert: Once they start getting up there in age and they need her help for things, they will magically "forgive her."

[Anonymous]

I would take the call and be VERY brief and VERY neutral-toned.

"Thank you for your call, Mr. Kim. I will let the kids know what you said. Take care and best of luck with John's Freshman year. Goodbye."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a Korean friend put in this position and he dated his gf in secret for 7 years. His parents found out when they got the wedding invitation. He didn’t even tell his friends because he had told one friend early on and the friend accidentally leaked it to someone who leaked it to his parents so after that it was strict come pf silence. He said he was getting married and we all thought he was joking.

I don't think these types of situations are necessarily related to the ethnicity.

My Korean friend's parents did not like the girl he was dating; she was also Korean. So, he eventually broke it off, only to be heartbroken himself. He was in such a bad way his parents eventually gave in, but by that time, the girl had moved on and gotten married to someone else.

I'm sure stuff like this happens in other cultures/ethnicities.

Yes, it does. Before anyone gets uppity about how forward American culture is, I would like to remind people that segregated prom is still a thing in The South even today.

[Anonymous]

I hope OP updates once they talk to the dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope OP updates once they talk to the dad.

+1000 Please OP update us after you speak to him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a Korean friend put in this position and he dated his gf in secret for 7 years. His parents found out when they got the wedding invitation. He didn’t even tell his friends because he had told one friend early on and the friend accidentally leaked it to someone who leaked it to his parents so after that it was strict come pf silence. He said he was getting married and we all thought he was joking.

I don't think these types of situations are necessarily related to the ethnicity.

My Korean friend's parents did not like the girl he was dating; she was also Korean. So, he eventually broke it off, only to be heartbroken himself. He was in such a bad way his parents eventually gave in, but by that time, the girl had moved on and gotten married to someone else.

I'm sure stuff like this happens in other cultures/ethnicities.

Yes, it does. Before anyone gets uppity about how forward American culture is, I would like to remind people that segregated prom is still a thing in The South even today.

No it’s not. I don’t believe you unless you have an example. I live in the South and- gasp- many kids date outside their race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a similar story from the other perspective. In college, I dated a Korean girl who came to America very young. We'd been dating a few months when summer break started and she came over to our house. She was the first girl I'd ever brought home, so I think my parents thought it was more serious than it really was. After the visit, my mom started having nightmares about us having mixed babies and asked me to stop seeing her. My dad also lectured me on the hierarchy of Asian ethnicities which didn't bode well for Koreans.

Honestly, this is what OP should say to the other parents. Pretend they are relieved! Let's see how they like it when the show is on the other foot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a Korean friend put in this position and he dated his gf in secret for 7 years. His parents found out when they got the wedding invitation. He didn’t even tell his friends because he had told one friend early on and the friend accidentally leaked it to someone who leaked it to his parents so after that it was strict come pf silence. He said he was getting married and we all thought he was joking.

I don't think these types of situations are necessarily related to the ethnicity.

My Korean friend's parents did not like the girl he was dating; she was also Korean. So, he eventually broke it off, only to be heartbroken himself. He was in such a bad way his parents eventually gave in, but by that time, the girl had moved on and gotten married to someone else.

I'm sure stuff like this happens in other cultures/ethnicities.

Yes, it does. Before anyone gets uppity about how forward American culture is, I would like to remind people that segregated prom is still a thing in The South even today.

No it’s not. I don’t believe you unless you have an example. I live in the South and- gasp- many kids date outside their race.

"You don't believe her?" Maybe that's a bubble you're in?

Date is one thing, marry is another especially for boys. Just ask the Asians on this thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does his ethnicity have to do with anything?

What an ignorant, tone-deaf, progressive-American question to ask.

If you have to ask, PP, you likely will never understand.

May I suggest you obtain a passport, and travel outside the USA for once in your life? (since it is obvious you are completely ignorant of of other cultural views around the world).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing that OP's DD is white and the boy's parents don't want him being serious with someone who isn't Korean.

My Korean American friend married a black guy and her parents shut her out of their lives. She had a baby and was hoping that would mend the relationship but so far, no. The baby is almost 2.

Have seen this so many times. Spoiler alert: Once they start getting up there in age and they need her help for things, they will magically "forgive her."

At which point I sincerely hope she’ll say no.

[Anonymous]

Did OP ever write more then the first post?

[Anonymous]

Tell the Dad that your daughter wants to be his son's Seoul mate.