Call from DD’s Korean boyfriend’s parents- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

My guess is that they view OP’s daughter as a distraction. They may disapprove no matter what race or culture the girl is from. If the girl was an engineering major at MIT or premed at Cornell or studying government at Harvard, I’m almost certain the parents would approve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

dp... it's weird ... South Korea has had a female president, whereas the US never has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

dp... it's weird ... South Korea has had a female president, whereas the US never has.

DP. +1. Pakistan, Philippines, India have had woman leaders. We may re-elect Mr Grab by the P****

[Anonymous]

did OP respond? did she talk to the parents? I can't look through 137 speculation responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- he didn’t call.

To answer a few questions:
-I messaged my DD about the situation and she said it started because they refused to break up. They haven’t started classes yet, so no grades have happened and nobody has been arrested
-the father has my # because we have taken their son on trips with us before and we provided itineraries, contact info etc
-DD says that this threatening to call and then not showing up is a practice this family uses with their son to make him worry
-We are not altering our plans in response to what looks like emotional abuse
-And if he ever does call, I intend to refer to my husband and myself by our professional/ academic titles when introducing myself
-For now I will ignore

OP, can your daughter can give you some insight into why he wants them to break up? Are the kids rising freshmen or rising sophomores? I wasn't sure from your original post whether they have already been to college or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

dp... it's weird ... South Korea has had a female president, whereas the US never has.

DP. +1. Pakistan, Philippines, India have had woman leaders. We may re-elect Mr Grab by the P****

yes, there's no way in h3ll South Koreans would elect a man who admitted he likes to grab women by the pu$$ies and who was convicted of rape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

Your cultural insensitivity is showing, PP. and it is very, very ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

dp... it's weird ... South Korea has had a female president, whereas the US never has.

Because she was the daughter of a former president

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

dp... it's weird ... South Korea has had a female president, whereas the US never has.

Because she was the daughter of a former president

oh, so one day the US will vote for Ivanka as POTUS because she's the daughter of a former POTUS, rather than voting for a woman who is capable irrespective of who her parents are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

dp... it's weird ... South Korea has had a female president, whereas the US never has.

Because she was the daughter of a former president

SK is modern but it’s still pretty sexist and homophobia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

How was this "degrading women?"

And shame on you, you crazy right-wing loon. Have more tolerance for other countries. Are you MAGA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

dp... it's weird ... South Korea has had a female president, whereas the US never has.

Because she was the daughter of a former president

oh, so one day the US will vote for Ivanka as POTUS because she's the daughter of a former POTUS, rather than voting for a woman who is capable irrespective of who her parents are?

Americans are truly clueless about what goes on in other countries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korean American here. The son should just say they broke up and not involve the parents. The son is in college so the parents can’t control his everyday life. At the same time, you don’t want him to not get his tuition paid. I won’t they would actually cut him off.

In my experience of many Asians, they are more forgiving if the boyfriend/girlfriend is very smart and comes from a good family. DH is Chinese American and was in med school when we met. He does not look different than Koreans, is polite and my parents always liked him. Indians, Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese parents seem to eventually accept the boyfriend or girlfriend more as long as the romantic interest is well educated. I know many Korean Americans who married white guys from ivy schools and everyone seems fine with it.

As if anyone needs an old Asian person's "forgiveness" for being non-Asian. OP could be more forgiving of her DD's Asian bf if his family wasn't a bunch of backwards racist loons. OP should not lower herself to engage in this lunacy. Even taking the call reinforces these people's unfounded sense of superiority. Put them in their place by refusing to engage further.

Of course you need forgiveness. You sound like a racist. You should be more respectful of cultural differences and more deferential to your elders. As it is you come off like a bigoted right-winger.

NP. lol! Nope. I don’t respect cultural difference that are degrading to women. Ever. Saying “cultural differences” is just an attempt to excuse and normalize degrading behavior toward women.

How was this "degrading women?"

And shame on you, you crazy right-wing loon. Have more tolerance for other countries. Are you MAGA?

Why is it MAGA or a right-wing loon if you disagree with someone trying to perpetrate horrifically sexist views?

Wouldn't someone MAGA be pro Korean dad in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Well I think we all learned that the country voting for an AA president does not mean that large swaths of the population are no longer racist. Countries can and do elect female leaders while continuing to practice sexist beliefs,

One of my best friends right after college is Korean. She moved here when she was a young teen. I was really surprised at what she told me about Korean culture. It’s not nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I think we all learned that the country voting for an AA president does not mean that large swaths of the population are no longer racist. Countries can and do elect female leaders while continuing to practice sexist beliefs,

One of my best friends right after college is Korean. She moved here when she was a young teen. I was really surprised at what she told me about Korean culture. It’s not nice.

Indeed, there is a group of very influential people in the US who want misogynistic laws.