when does being "the smart one" stop being a social liability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeaaap yessir, I went to Harvard. Being smart is great. I don't come off as smart. In fact, I downplay how smart I am quite a bit. I bet you couldn't even tell I was smart from this post, until I pointed it out to you, that's how smart I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My WISC score was 142 according to my parents. I always had the highest grades in es. No one ever made fun of me for it.

I’m not saying no one made fun of your son for it, but I would guess that there is something else going on—most likely social skills that are not at par. But it could be anything.

OMG!

Stop with the brags about yourself and telling OP that her kid is the problem.

To the OP: stop looking for advice here. These threads draw the insecure moms of the insecure mean kids of the type who would make fun of your kid in middle school for getting good grades. Hopefully, at least some kids will grow up by high school.

Her kid is the problem.

No, your brats are.

+100

[Anonymous]

In middle school, as long as you are attractive and/or very sporty, nothing is a social liability. Otherwise you have to wait until high school for it to be cool to be smart. In the meantime, look at it as a character building opportunity.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think being part of a group has anything to do with if you’re considered “smart”.

One of my kids was part of the popular crowd and I knew the girls well. They were almost all ordinary students with some in special ed and a few in AP classes. They did not choose their friends based on what classes they took. Who does that?

It’s about what you have in common. What you like to do outside of school, not sign up activities but when you’re together at a sleepover or walking to go eat or meeting boys.

My son had a small group of dorky friends who were split some the super smart kids, some with LDs. They all got along and had the same interests.

He needs to find someone who appreciates his sense of humor and personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High school

+1 I have a 19 yr old (college ) and sophomore in HS. They both said HS is when kids don't care as much about "being cool" - at least in the large HS we are at. Lots of kids are too busy trying to do well and get into a good college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

Help this makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

+1 When people say “popular, good looking, athletic and smart”, they’re greatly exaggerating a few of those qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are so depressing. So many horrible people blaming the OP's child AND using this as a chance to brag.

People aren’t bragging. They are providing context. Stop being so insecure.

Actually, they are bragging. A parent's IQ score or the college they graduated from is completely unnecessary in a discussion of what amounts to basic middle school social dynamics.

I find it hard to believe the insecure people posting this stuff are raising such socially successful students. Such self-delusion on this site.

Cue more bragging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm, this sounds like your school's culture. I have one very bright kid who had to be bussed to the high school in 8th grade for 2 of his classes. He was never made fun of, most kids were actually really curious and always have wanted his help. He started tutoring in Math in 9th grade and now as a senior, makes $40hr for SAT/AP test prep along with tutoring for Calc AB/BC. He has a ton of friends and his intelligence makes him stand out in a good way. However, his school has a lot of high achieving kids and our school culture celebrates success. Our high school has someting referred to the "nerd wall" next to all the athletic awards that celebrats kids academic achievements (think NMSF, match competition winners, DECA winners, ect...) and it a huge deal to make the "nerd wall".

OP here. I totally agree that it's the school's culture...but surely that must change as they get older? Maybe once they start splitting off into AP classes? If not, that's fine. Mostly wondering what to expect and if we'll ever be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

Help this makes no sense.

Really? You can't understand that, for example, kids in a place like West Texas are encouraged to play football because it's their only shot at college, both academically and financially? Not every school attracts good-looking, all-American lax players with blonde girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

Help this makes no sense.

Really? You can't understand that, for example, kids in a place like West Texas are encouraged to play football because it's their only shot at college, both academically and financially? Not every school attracts good-looking, all-American lax players with blonde girlfriends.

Most schools have shiny popular kids. It might mean something a little different depending on the school, but they're typically confident and good looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

Help this makes no sense.

Really? You can't understand that, for example, kids in a place like West Texas are encouraged to play football because it's their only shot at college, both academically and financially? Not every school attracts good-looking, all-American lax players with blonde girlfriends.

Most schools have shiny popular kids. It might mean something a little different depending on the school, but they're typically confident and groomed.

FIFY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are so depressing. So many horrible people blaming the OP's child AND using this as a chance to brag.

People aren’t bragging. They are providing context. Stop being so insecure.

Actually, they are bragging. A parent's IQ score or the college they graduated from is completely unnecessary in a discussion of what amounts to basic middle school social dynamics.

I find it hard to believe the insecure people posting this stuff are raising such socially successful students. Such self-delusion on this site.

Cue more bragging.

+1

[Anonymous]

High achievers are not necessarily cool at my kids’ school. Which is very different than my own high school experience. The coolest kids at my kid’s school will likely go on to community college.

So there’s that.