when does being "the smart one" stop being a social liability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

This is part of the issue - he plays golf and swims, though neither are school sports. His classmates all play football and make fun of him for not doing so.

But we do not live in a highly educated area anymore.

Ok, well maybe try a magnet school or private in scholarship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeaaap yessir, I went to Harvard. Being smart is great. I don't come off as smart. In fact, I downplay how smart I am quite a bit. I bet you couldn't even tell I was smart from this post, until I pointed it out to you, that's how smart I am.

Dr Seuss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on where you live. A friend of mine taught middle school in a rural, blue collar area. The kids made fun of her for being smart! It may be better if you move.

Now that’s sad and pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It never was for either of my DSs. This must be school specific.

Oh...well, if it didn't happen to your kids, it must not be happening. It couldn't possibly be...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering. 11 yo DS is constantly made fun of, and I'm curious if/when this gets better.

I am sorry OP.

Kids can be so mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High achievers are not necessarily cool at my kids’ school. Which is very different than my own high school experience. The coolest kids at my kid’s school will likely go on to community college.

So there’s that.

Whelp, at least you saved a buck on your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the intelligence, it’s something else. In a school with more smart kids it probably wouldn’t happen. Or he might be bragging or talking too much in class.

He stopped talking two years ago and has made great social strides since then. They're literally looking over his shoulder and seeing his grades when tests/homework are returned.

That’s weird. Is this Catholic school? No online portal?

What grade does this even happen?

It sounds like he was braggy when he was younger and this is a smaller school? I'm not surprised the reputation stuck as it's difficult to remake your identity when you are around the same people. Things will improve as he gets older and goes to a bigger MS and HS.

I think this is also a school or area thing like others have said. DC has never been teased about being smart and it's definitely a positive social thing at our public school.

[Anonymous]

It is clear who the snobby, private school parents responding are. Ugh. Your judgments and ridicule are not selling points for a private school educations.

Cue the "you're jealous" blah blah blah.

In order to inspire jealousy, you have to have or be something people want. Who wants to be immature and nasty?

[Anonymous]

11 is a tough age for this. It sorts out by about 10th grade when there’s a larger pool of kids and it becomes really apparent who is destined for what. The “cool” kids who are going to college aren’t interested in hanging out with the ones who can’t pass Algebra after three tries, with very limited exceptions for the truly elite athletes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is clear who the snobby, private school parents responding are. Ugh. Your judgments and ridicule are not selling points for a private school educations.

Cue the "you're jealous" blah blah blah.

In order to inspire jealousy, you have to have or be something people want. Who wants to be immature and nasty?

I’m a private school parent and somewhat agree.

Also, I guarantee that a lot of these “smart kids” have delusional parents. They’re just “not dumb.”

[Anonymous]

They are making fun of him for some other reason. You are part of the problem for stopping the inquiry at his intelligence. He needs social supports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

I have a middle school kid. I also have a kid in high school. Kids absolutely care about college. I don’t necessarily think all the popular kids are smart. The seniors who are going to the top colleges are also the athletic and surprising good looking. It is cool to go to an Ivy or T30 school in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

Right out of a teen movie that’s fantasy. Kids don’t give a shit where parents went to school. Athletic does not automatically go with smart, usually doesn’t.

There are too many of those parents in the DC that are socially awkward, nerdy and not all that good looking. But according to you they all produce good looking athletic smart kids. Right

I have a middle school kid. I also have a kid in high school. Kids absolutely care about college. I don’t necessarily think all the popular kids are smart. The seniors who are going to the top colleges are also the athletic and surprising good looking. It is cool to go to an Ivy or T30 school in high school.

Pp again. I believe our school is split into the academically driven kids and the cool drug partying kids. I am sure that there are some kids who still think drinking and partying is cool. By the time senior year rolls around, I believe the ones going to good colleges are cooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being smart is not a liability. It is how you carry yourself. For boys, athleticism often has the most social capital. I have one boy in middle and high school. We live in an area with a well educated population so many parents from top universities. No one is teasing anyone for being smart. The most popular boys are often rich, good looking, athletic and also smart.

This is part of the issue - he plays golf and swims, though neither are school sports. His classmates all play football and make fun of him for not doing so.

But we do not live in a highly educated area anymore.

Ok, well maybe try a magnet school or private in scholarship.

He's already in private. No magnets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the intelligence, it’s something else. In a school with more smart kids it probably wouldn’t happen. Or he might be bragging or talking too much in class.

He stopped talking two years ago and has made great social strides since then. They're literally looking over his shoulder and seeing his grades when tests/homework are returned.

That’s weird. Is this Catholic school? No online portal?

What grade does this even happen?

It sounds like he was braggy when he was younger and this is a smaller school? I'm not surprised the reputation stuck as it's difficult to remake your identity when you are around the same people. Things will improve as he gets older and goes to a bigger MS and HS.

I think this is also a school or area thing like others have said. DC has never been teased about being smart and it's definitely a positive social thing at our public school.

He was never braggy. He's too shy for that.