when does being "the smart one" stop being a social liability?
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Anonymous
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Unfortunately, I think that it is a function of the school composition and social dynamics. We have a middle school kid who is not athletic and is smart - not a genius, but loves to read and tends spew out a lot of scientific facts and be a bit of a know-it-all.
She was bullied - or at least actively disliked - by kids, parents and even teachers when we were in the DMV. We moved to NYC a few years ago, and she’s in a public school on the UES where many of the kids are from immigrant families, and a lot of the parents are in science/medicine. Athletics are far far less important than in the DMV. The change was almost instantaneous. She’s doing great with a nice group of friends, and the other parents and teachers like her. Sometimes I hate the fact that we are living in a tiny apartment in NYC, but NYC public schools have been a real blessing for our little nerd. She didn’t change - it was the environment. This won’t help you - you can’t just move to NYC! - but I’d recommend something like CTY when your kid is older. He will find like-minded kids there. |
Anonymous
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The key is to find common ground with others. My boys are smart but they are also easy going and go with the flow.
My more introverted child is a good listener. He can tell you about his friends’ interests even if it isn’t an interest of his. DS plays tennis. He has a friend who plays baseball. Another who likes theater. Another who plays basketball. They laugh at silly memes and YouTube videos. My 45yo husband and his friends still send one another stupid funny videos. They are successful ivy educated men. |
Anonymous
Poor little bully! 
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Anonymous
| I grew up in a provincial area in the US and it was definitely not cool to be smart. High school was actually the worst. It wasn’t until I got to college that I could really be myself and have friends that were like me. My smart kids are having a totally different experience living in DC. Agree with OP that other areas can be very different. |
Anonymous
HS will be in classes with some peers, but for the true nerds/geeks, college. |
Anonymous
+1 It’s the school/environment. Not your kid who sounds delightful. I went to a school like this. It was hard. I was bullied. I did things to try to fit in. Most people would have no idea. I got the h*ll out and my kids are having a much much better school experience in a place where being smart is valued. |
Anonymous
Where they get their Revenge of the Nerds. I saw that movie. |