Finances make me consider suicide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did an in-depth look at my finances today and I just…don’t want to feel any more. I’m employed full time and just picked up a tutoring job that doesn’t pay much. Ive been looking for another job for over a year and I can’t even get an interview. I’m talking hundreds of job apps. I have my masters but it’s worthless. Before taxes I make just under 80k. My kid does not have a college savings and will be going off to college in 2.5 years. Her dad’s child support is minimal ($200/month). I stopped getting my hair done to save money (fwiw I’m black so this is a big deal). Considering cutting streaming services too just to cut corners where I can. We have no vacation expenses this year. I don’t buy new clothes. One expense that I need to cut is my monthly house cleaner but she brings me so much joy and reduces my stress greatly, but I should save the $150 each month. Suicide is not actually a viable option because I can’t do that to my kid, but I am overwhelmed and frustrated with my situation. I’m just tired.

Nothing is so bad that you can’t change and feel better. Please find a therapist. For you and your daughters sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your Education background in STEM by any chance?
Hiring:
https://www.indeed.com/cmp/National-Science-Foundation?from=mobviewjob&tk=1hlojrn1hiqul801&fromjk=158c7c8bff6e0765&attributionid=mobvjcmp

No unfortunately but I do love science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree that the hair appointment sounds important to you so you should probably do it to feel better about yourself. I also agree that your child can do CC and go to a state school on aid and will be fine. Concentrate more on yourself right now to lift yourself out of depression. I think you’re doing great. You sound like a great mom!

I agree as well. The other thing is it could help you attract a quality longterm mate that could really alleviate some of your household expenses.

OP, how old are you?

OMG. It is so old fashioned to tell women to find a man to rescue them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are doing a good job despite being thinly stretched.

Perhaps figure out if you are considered low-income for your county. Perhaps you can get subsidized internet or some other low rates on things you need.

Start prepping your daughter to find scholarships and get her SATs as high as possible. Have her use the free College Board resources plus Khan Academy and paper books that might even be available at the library.

Is the housekeeper a friend? If not, I'd say you should stop that and the other expensive subscriptions. Because another job might change your routine and drain your energy in unpredictable ways. People need enough sleep to stay well rested and prevent depression.

If you are not getting interviews, perhaps you should try to join some social activities to get to know more people. Can you be more active with church, volunteering, etc.?

A friend told me about khan academy and we are definitely going that route as her test scores are abysmal. Housekeeper is not a friend.

I am no considered low income for moco. I am a pretty active member of my communities but not educated in the right fields to use their networks unfortunately.

Many schools are test optional now.

[Anonymous]

OP, hang in there. Your girl will get a scholarship for college, might attend for free if it's private.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to stop sending your resume to random postings. If you haven’t taken the time to customize the resume to the job, and it reads like you are just a teacher you are not going to get an interview. Most part time jobs are not going to pay substantially more than Target, Amazon warehouse, Fast Food anyway. You’re not going to get 35-40 per hour. You realistic goal should be to aim for 18-20 per hour. Just walk into a place that is hiring and apply. Before you do, think about how you’d like to spend these hours… if being physical is important, do something that involves moving around, if you need a quieter environment, apply at the hallmark store, and if you want to gain some new skills apply to an office or receptionist or accounts payable position. Honestly, the random applications are sapping your time, energy and motivation, and it’s causing you to spiral. Stop and take another approach OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You make under $100k. Do you live in Virginia? There are schools that will let you attend for free if you make under this much.

MD, moco to be exact.

Did you sign up for the free laptops Moco is giving away?

Cut streaming services, tell your family you need passwords. Cut nails, let the last set grow out completely then keep your nails trimmed short and natural. Get a human hair wig from Amazon and call it a day. Try to cut corners on food.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter needs to get her grades up. She can live with you and go to umdcp or umbc and pay tuition only and save on room and board.

[Anonymous]

Sending you love OP! You sound like you are doing all you can.

[Anonymous]

To improve your mood: get outside, go for a walk (even if its around the block), eat well, call a friend or even better meet a friend for coffee or lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did an in-depth look at my finances today and I just…don’t want to feel any more. I’m employed full time and just picked up a tutoring job that doesn’t pay much. Ive been looking for another job for over a year and I can’t even get an interview. I’m talking hundreds of job apps. I have my masters but it’s worthless. Before taxes I make just under 80k. My kid does not have a college savings and will be going off to college in 2.5 years. Her dad’s child support is minimal ($200/month). I stopped getting my hair done to save money (fwiw I’m black so this is a big deal). Considering cutting streaming services too just to cut corners where I can. We have no vacation expenses this year. I don’t buy new clothes. One expense that I need to cut is my monthly house cleaner but she brings me so much joy and reduces my stress greatly, but I should save the $150 each month. Suicide is not actually a viable option because I can’t do that to my kid, but I am overwhelmed and frustrated with my situation. I’m just tired.

You have a spending issue. Get a part-time virtual job with customer service or something to supplement. May of us do our hair, don't have housekeepers, and don't take vacations. Welcome to my world. Your kid will get financial aid or community college.

I disagree with the above poster! I get why having your house put in order for you, is well worth $150 a month.

Hang in there. FWIW, my kid did a year of community college which was not my preference. However, it was a great experience and a lot less money.

[Anonymous]

You don’t work and you have a cleaner? That’s nuts. Keep one streaming service and cut the rest. No takeout. On your income, you should be okay. And your kid should have a job 1 day/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t work and you have a cleaner? That’s nuts. Keep one streaming service and cut the rest. No takeout. On your income, you should be okay. And your kid should have a job 1 day/week.

Ok, you do work but consider yourself low income. The rest stands. You could make good supplementary income by DoorDashing a few evenings/week or babysitting. Your DD can babysit on weekend evenings and pay some of her own expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're doing so much right. Try not to get ahead of yourself. Deal with the college expenses when your daughter has her acceptances and financial aid offers. The application fees can be waived for need. If necessary, she can do 2 years of community college then transfer to a 4 year or take a gap year and work. I'd keep the housekeeper since it sounds like it does you more good than a therapy session.

I’m in therapy and my therapist approves the cleaner. My house is not a pigsty but I didn’t know the relief I needed from having another adult help me clean and put lines on my carpet. Silly I know, but it’s just a nice touch.

Don’t give the therapist a say over your finances if those are what is triggering your depression.

That’s also a weird thing for a therapist to say. Maybe get a second opinion.

[Anonymous]

For the hair, I would invest in a nice wig.