Finances make me consider suicide

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't call, it won't help and sometimes makes things worse, but free and low cost therapy does exist. You need to find some silver linings to hang onto during this time. Keep the cleaner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't call, it won't help and sometimes makes things worse, but free and low cost therapy does exist. You need to find some silver linings to hang onto during this time. Keep the cleaner.

I have a therapist that is luckily covered by insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did an in-depth look at my finances today and I just…don’t want to feel any more. I’m employed full time and just picked up a tutoring job that doesn’t pay much. Ive been looking for another job for over a year and I can’t even get an interview. I’m talking hundreds of job apps. I have my masters but it’s worthless. Before taxes I make just under 80k. My kid does not have a college savings and will be going off to college in 2.5 years. Her dad’s child support is minimal ($200/month). I stopped getting my hair done to save money (fwiw I’m black so this is a big deal). Considering cutting streaming services too just to cut corners where I can. We have no vacation expenses this year. I don’t buy new clothes. One expense that I need to cut is my monthly house cleaner but she brings me so much joy and reduces my stress greatly, but I should save the $150 each month. Suicide is not actually a viable option because I can’t do that to my kid, but I am overwhelmed and frustrated with my situation. I’m just tired.

You have a spending issue. Get a part-time virtual job with customer service or something to supplement. May of us do our hair, don't have housekeepers, and don't take vacations. Welcome to my world. Your kid will get financial aid or community college.

I’ve been striking out on the part time virtual jobs. It’s beyond frustrating. We don’t eat out, don’t shop, and she gets her hair braided every 2 months or so. I haven’t been to the salon since last august (I look a mess). I’ve basically removed all joy from my life which is why I’m hesitant to cut the cleaner.

I’m sorry OP but boo hoo.

You make enough money that if you’re careful you should be fine. Get off of the internet and look for something part time if you’re that desperate. And stop talking about the salon and hair for Pete’s sake.

This is on you.

I’ve been looking. Even took my masters off my resume and still nothing. Hair/the salon is a big deal in the black community, sorry if you don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

OP what job do you have today? What is your master’s in? Why do you feel you need to take it off your resume? What roles are you applying to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are sitting here shooting down virtually every suggestion offered by anyone.

I’m not shooting anything down, but a lot of what folks have suggested I don’t qualify for. I’m looking for a pt job, will start tutoring this week, and continue my hunt for a better paying job. Aside from the cleaner & streaming services there’s not much more I can cut. I do my own hair & nails. I try to by off brand food. I workout at home so no gym fees. I wear the same raggedy clothes & shoes. Sometimes things have to be replaced because my job requires decent appearances but I definitely stretch things out. I don’t like junk so there’s not a lot of “extra” stuff in my house. I don’t do things like Starbucks unless I have a gift card. I don’t go out with friends. I cook most meals. I only have to pay $100 a month for braces because luckily my insurance covered 50%. I have the cheapest internet package. I dont host family or friends because $$. I keep my thermostat low to save $. I’m trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what job do you have today? What is your master’s in? Why do you feel you need to take it off your resume? What roles are you applying to?

I’m an educator. My masters is in education. I took it off to apply to pt jobs because I thought it was making me an automatic no/she’s too expensive. I am applying for any and everything. I’d like to get out of education but it looks like I’m stuck.

[Anonymous]

If you live in DC, call the access helpline: https://dbh.dc.gov/service/access-helpline

You are doing a great job. My mom never made more thank $35K my entire life and she was a great role model for me and I now make over $200K. It's her dad who is letting you down.

-Figure out what you can cut (we only have one streaming service at a time for example)

-Make sure you are getting your company match. Best thing you can do for your kid is not be a burden in your old age. You likely have 20 years of savings ahead of you and even if you only put $4K a year away pre-tax (5% of your income) with company match you will have $ 1/2 a million at retirement on top of social security.

-Kid should get a summer job for the next three summers and have her save 1/2 for books and starbucks in college. She will get $ for the rest if she does well in school and sports.

-Since you can't rely on it put every child support check and other windfall (tax refund, etc) in a savings account for emergencies (or half if you have consumer debt that's more than 4%).

[Anonymous]

OP, it will be OK.

Single mom here, I can relate to how you feel, on many points. Some things to keep in mind. For one, your child will probably be able to get some scholarships. It won't be easy but they probably will be able to do OK.

Secondly, you cannot derail your kid's life by leaving her. You are not allowed to leave her.

Thirdly, one of the things I did in your situation was get a roommate. We shared a single family home. Coabode connects single moms looking to house share, and maybe child care share.

Also, I picked up a weekend job. It's not much per hour but when I get paid it covers my car payment which is nice.

If your child is going to school in 2.5 years, she can probably get a job. She can start saving for the future. Encourage her to do that. Working in high school taught me a lot.

Next, if you'd like detailed help, post your budget. Also, if you'd like some ideas on jobs, post your field (haven't read the whole thread yet).

Shave your head! So many black ladies look amazing with the Danai Gurrira/T'nia Miller look.

You will be OK. Your daughter will be OK if you keep on being her mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you live in DC, call the access helpline: https://dbh.dc.gov/service/access-helpline

You are doing a great job. My mom never made more thank $35K my entire life and she was a great role model for me and I now make over $200K. It's her dad who is letting you down.

-Figure out what you can cut (we only have one streaming service at a time for example)

-Make sure you are getting your company match. Best thing you can do for your kid is not be a burden in your old age. You likely have 20 years of savings ahead of you and even if you only put $4K a year away pre-tax (5% of your income) with company match you will have $ 1/2 a million at retirement on top of social security.

-Kid should get a summer job for the next three summers and have her save 1/2 for books and starbucks in college. She will get $ for the rest if she does well in school and sports.

-Since you can't rely on it put every child support check and other windfall (tax refund, etc) in a savings account for emergencies (or half if you have consumer debt that's more than 4%).

Kid is a lifeguard so she’s set for decent paying easy job even throughout college. I currently have 20k in retirement because I got a late start on saving. These are all really good tips. Thanks for this. Initially my plan was to save child support as a college gift, but you know. Life expenses got in the way. Aka sports.

[Anonymous]

Is your Education background in STEM by any chance?
Hiring:
https://www.indeed.com/cmp/National-Science-Foundation?from=mobviewjob&tk=1hlojrn1hiqul801&fromjk=158c7c8bff6e0765&attributionid=mobvjcmp

[Anonymous]

You're going to be fine, OP. 80K for 2 people in the DC area is within the middle class income!!!

For college:
A. Either start with community college then guaranteed transfer to your state flagship.
B. Or, if she gets merit aid and financial aid at a state college, you can swing all 4 years.
Do not take out extra loans on top of the financial aid loans.

I make about that, and clean my own house. I don't pay for therapy either. I dye my own hair.

[Anonymous]

Education job:
https://www.indeed.com/cmp/Academy-of-Hope-Adult-Public-Charter-School?from=mobviewjob&tk=1hlok1d7ojgag800&fromjk=cc57f650fca9ab2c&attributionid=mobvjcmp

[Anonymous]

Is you DC likely to get recruited for sports? What kind of grades do they get? …. Either of these could result in some big merit on top of the financial aid that you will qualify for….. I think knowing some path for your child’s college may ease the mental burden on you…

[Anonymous]

Thurgood Marshall Foundation jobs
https://www.tmcf.org/about-us/tmcf-careers/

[Anonymous]

Op, I have nothing but love for you. A lot of these families rolling around in 100k SUVs also have no college savings. Stop beating yourself up. Your child sounds like they have a great work ethic, and that will take them far (much further than their pampered brat peers, frankly).