Happy wife, happy life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Only women, children, and dogs are unconditionally loved. Men have to show what they are worth. That's why most men these days are refusing to get married. There's really no upside for a man. There really isn't.

I think there's a kernel of truth to this (and I'm a woman) but definitely add "young" before women.
Pretty much everyone outside of these categories must prove their worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Goodness the men on this thread are so pouty.

Goodness the women on this thread are so dismissive of men's feelings.

On thread about prioritizing women's happiness, man complains women are dismissive of men's feelings.

That pretty much sums it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Only women, children, and dogs are unconditionally loved. Men have to show what they are worth. That's why most men these days are refusing to get married. There's really no upside for a man. There really isn't.

I think there's a kernel of truth to this (and I'm a woman) but definitely add "young" before women.
Pretty much everyone outside of these categories must prove their worth.

If a husband's hot wife gets fat and and chronically ill within two years of marriage, he's very likely going to leave her even if she's in her twenties. Women, as a rule, are not loved unconditionally. We are loved for what we can do for others and how we make them feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Only women, children, and dogs are unconditionally loved. Men have to show what they are worth. That's why most men these days are refusing to get married. There's really no upside for a man. There really isn't.

Women are unconditionally loved? By whom? Their mothers? Men fall out of love with their wives every day.

Seriously! If women were unconditionally loved, this thread's topic wouldn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women emote more.

That’s the bottom line.

I’m sorry it’s not PC to say it. Women’s monthly cycle also deeply affects behavior. A lot of this quote is based on biological truth.

Men are on the whole more emotionally consistent, less prone to grudges, and speak less or do not as frequently vent their feelings verbally.

This forum is dominated by women, so I’m sure I’ll get tons of blowback, but this is a hill I’ll die on.

Society allows women more leeway for unreasonable behavior without accountability.

it’s also super hip right now to endlessly bash men. You wonder why Gen Z men are somehow turning to the right. It’s because anything they do and say is “toxic masculinity” or they’re supposed to sort of show deference from women as they’re denigrated. They’re supposed to eat sht and like it.

LOL men have really convinced themselves that their anger, depression, and anxiety aren't emotions. Go ahead a die on that hill, and while you're at it look up the definition of "emote" - it's not just talking and it's not limited to women. All of your tantrumy outbursts are emoting. The holes in the drywall, domestic violence, family annhilation: all emoting.

. Yeah, I do none of that.

Even if I did, it’s way better than trying to gauge when you’re moody and will either simmer silently or tear down your partner with rude comments and demands.

Sorry, did you just say that domestic violence is better than sulking and passive aggression?

[Anonymous]

I think I’m a happy wife and having a loving husband is part of what makes me happy. He seems quite happy as well some of that thanks to me. It’s a nice circle.

[Anonymous]

mens happiness has been at the center of marriages and families for millennia. I think this saying came about because traditionally women have had to do a lot of work to ensure the happiness of their husbands and the care of their children, and it's an acknowledgement that a woman who is really unhappy will do that work poorly or not at all.

Basically: in a system where all emotional labor falls on women, you better make sure that woman is functioning emotionally herself or things are going to go to pieces. If your wife is the one who 100% of the time is dealing with toddler meltdowns or the upset kid who comes home from school angry but non communicative, if she's the one who knows how to make sure all the ILs are happy with the holiday plan, if she's listening to you complain about your brother or your job or politics 6x a week, if she's keeping up relationships in the neighborhood and at church and at school, then you better make sure she's getting enough of her own happiness to fill up her tank so she can do those things.

Now in a marriage where a man takes on an equal or even greater emotional burden, this saying wouldn't apply. But in how many marriages is that true? Many men go their entire lives pretending they don't even have feelings other than anger and indifference. It is WORK to help a person like that function in the world, so yeah, you better hope the person doing that work is reasonably happy in life. Because she's the one ensuring everyone else is reasonably happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy wife, happy life at one point in time was correct. However, today, at least among folks my generation (we are both 28 married 3 years) we both seek to make each other happy. I keep him happy as best as I can and he does the same for me as well.

Please come back in 20-30 years. You are literally still in the honeymoon phase.

No she is not. She is the type of woman I wish I married. I wife is such a narcissistic f**k that at times I wonder if she mentally stable. Every single aspect of our marriage has been to keep her happy. I am not kidding. It’s not normal. I think the younger generation believe in equality which is a good think. Many of the women my generation are stuck in this cloud that they are queens that need to cared for unconditionally.

Why on earth did you marry someone like that then? Was she a totally different person while dating?
What happened to her after marriage that she became unstable?

I do blame myself because she did display narcissistic traits but I met here when we were young our mid 20s. Back then I didn’t necessarily saw it as narcissism. I saw it more like a hot girl who had many options and I was the lucky guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Only women, children, and dogs are unconditionally loved. Men have to show what they are worth. That's why most men these days are refusing to get married. There's really no upside for a man. There really isn't.

Women are unconditionally loved? By whom? Their mothers? Men fall out of love with their wives every day.

Seriously! If women were unconditionally loved, this thread's topic wouldn't exist.

I am a woman and the only time I've ever felt unconditionally loved is by my own child. My parents definitely didn't love me unconditionally -- their love was the most conditional of all and I failed the conditions, so...

My DH was/is unconditionally loved by his parents. So was/is his brother. They've never had to earn their parents love and I envy them that.

Neither my DH nor I love each other unconditionally. We have a partnership and it only works if we both participate. I don't think it's reasonable to expect unconditional love from your marital partner, because everyone has things that, if their partner did or didn't do them, would be a deal breaker. Like if my DH hit me, I'd stop loving him, and I think the same is true for him.

We definitely love our child unconditionally. I really think this is the duty of parents (I would do it even if it wasn't 'my duty, but I think it's essential and that you should not have children unless you can love them without condition -- my parents screwed me up a lot doing what they did).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy wife, happy life at one point in time was correct. However, today, at least among folks my generation (we are both 28 married 3 years) we both seek to make each other happy. I keep him happy as best as I can and he does the same for me as well.

Please come back in 20-30 years. You are literally still in the honeymoon phase.

No she is not. She is the type of woman I wish I married. I wife is such a narcissistic f**k that at times I wonder if she mentally stable. Every single aspect of our marriage has been to keep her happy. I am not kidding. It’s not normal. I think the younger generation believe in equality which is a good think. Many of the women my generation are stuck in this cloud that they are queens that need to cared for unconditionally.

If your wife was so mentally unstable and terrible by your third year of marriage, I wonder why you married her, what signs you overlooked, and why continue to stay married.

Since PP said "she is the type of woman I wish I married," I assume he has asked himself the same questions many times. It's not relevant to his point.

What "type" of woman in the poster? He knows pretty much nothing about her except she's 28 and has been married for 3 years and is naive enough to believe that year 3 is anything like year 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Because women shape households the way men don't.

[Anonymous]

I think we also deal with things better then men can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Goodness the men on this thread are so pouty.

Goodness the women on this thread are so dismissive of men's feelings.

On thread about prioritizing women's happiness, man complains women are dismissive of men's feelings.

That pretty much sums it up.

What? Ha ha. Nice reading comprehension. You think the quote “happy wife, happy life” is a positive reference to prioritizing a wife’s happiness?

It’s not. It’s basically “my wife will be nuts around everyone if she isn’t happy and content. So I’ll do whatever it takes for domestic peace.”




“Obviously, you’re not a golfer”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we also deal with things better then men can.

Oh, yeah? Care to narrow that down a bit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Because historically, men’s happiness is a given.