|Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?
|Because it's an old-fashioned saying that dates to a time when women's financial and physical wellbeing depended almost entirely on their husband's behavior, and men's emotional wellbeing depended almost entirely on their wife. The more current version is "happy spouse, happy house."
|Most marriages dont the wife usually run things?
Men will automatically prioritize their own happiness/pleasure because they've been raised in a culture that centers men. They often need to be reminded to consider others. Women often prioritize the needs/wants of others (kids, spouse, friends, family) over their own, because that's what our culture encourages them to do.
"happy wife" doesn't necessarily mean you always please her. It means you support her happiness by doing things like making sure she has time to herself to pursue an identity outside of service, and you consider how your actions will impact her.
And men still fsck it up.
what makes a married man with kids happy?
what makes a married woman with kids happy?
be specific. there's your answer.
I'm queer, so I prefer this, and it sweeps the inequalities of hetero relationships under the rug.
|Maybe counterintuitive, but it's a patriarchal saying. Be a beneficent dictator. By making the peasants happy, you help your own well-being!
But I actually think women fsck it up too. It is our responsibility and while reminders are helpful, they can’t change a fundamental, unconscious belief that your happiness/wellbeing comes last. Or that we can’t do the things that make us happy until our partners are convinced that we deserve them. That was my problem anyway. Not my motto is “be happy not good.”
|^ I mean *now* my motto is.
The LAST thing you want to do is sweek those inequalities under the rug. You want to air out the dirty laundry!!!
|To be fair, in a happy family, a good man also sacrifices a lot.
|Every woman I know that sings that stupid phrase was a cheater.
For real happiness, you have to be good too. Happiness doesn't happen in vacuum. Its a balance, narcissists aren't happy.
A lot of what?
Yes, but, most women don't need reminders to be good. I have always hustled to be good. I unconsciously always errored on the side of good at the detriment of my happiness. I still do that if I act on impulse. I need a reminder to do things the other way. Of course often my needs can't be met immediately but I have stopped putting them on the back burner, at least.