Happy wife, happy life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Because women shape households the way men don't.

That’s a pretty arrogant and broad take, but sure.

Also, sister, why are you subjugating yourself and perpetuating traditional patriarchal gender roles that equate domestic responsibilities solely to the realm of women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Because historically, men’s happiness is a given.

Not anymore.

Truth is: they hate us cause they ain’t us.

Let’s go, men!!!! Oh yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Only women, children, and dogs are unconditionally loved. Men have to show what they are worth. That's why most men these days are refusing to get married. There's really no upside for a man. There really isn't.

I think there's a kernel of truth to this (and I'm a woman) but definitely add "young" before women.
Pretty much everyone outside of these categories must prove their worth.

I mean, that's a condition. So no, there's no kernel of truth here. Love for women is conditioned on lots of things: their youth, their beauty, their sex drives, their ability to have kids, their ability as mothers, etc.

How many times have we seen men on here explain that they are no longer attracted to their wives because of XYZ, and therefore they want to cheat or divorce? That's conditional love, if it's even love at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Are you joking? Traditionally, men have dictated everything in a marriage. Surely you know that. As late as the 70's or so, wives couldn't even get credit in their own names . . . . in short, men have always been valuable.

Also, it's a silly saying. You poor thing.

You are absolutely correct. But would you agree though that today we value women’s mental health more than men’s?

NP. I disagree with your last statement.

Society very much values both women and men's mental health.
Men just don't talk about it or read about it or think about it (mental health of them or anybody). And when asked to consider it, they do not or they get angry at the suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Only women, children, and dogs are unconditionally loved. Men have to show what they are worth. That's why most men these days are refusing to get married. There's really no upside for a man. There really isn't.

Everyone shows their value and worth. With every decision and action they take, day in and day out.

You live your values and priorities, and it shows. It's right there, for people to see.

If you have no value to contribute - as in companionship, raising a family, maintaining a home, teaching hobbies / interests/ sports, and working in the general economy - they absolutely do not get married and do not have children. Work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:mens happiness has been at the center of marriages and families for millennia. I think this saying came about because traditionally women have had to do a lot of work to ensure the happiness of their husbands and the care of their children, and it's an acknowledgement that a woman who is really unhappy will do that work poorly or not at all.

Basically: in a system where all emotional labor falls on women, you better make sure that woman is functioning emotionally herself or things are going to go to pieces. If your wife is the one who 100% of the time is dealing with toddler meltdowns or the upset kid who comes home from school angry but non communicative, if she's the one who knows how to make sure all the ILs are happy with the holiday plan, if she's listening to you complain about your brother or your job or politics 6x a week, if she's keeping up relationships in the neighborhood and at church and at school, then you better make sure she's getting enough of her own happiness to fill up her tank so she can do those things.

Now in a marriage where a man takes on an equal or even greater emotional burden, this saying wouldn't apply. But in how many marriages is that true? Many men go their entire lives pretending they don't even have feelings other than anger and indifference. It is WORK to help a person like that function in the world, so yeah, you better hope the person doing that work is reasonably happy in life. Because she's the one ensuring everyone else is reasonably happy.

this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Because women shape households the way men don't.

That’s a pretty arrogant and broad take, but sure.

Also, sister, why are you subjugating yourself and perpetuating traditional patriarchal gender roles that equate domestic responsibilities solely to the realm of women?

Probably b/c if she doesnt take care of the kids' needs then no one will. he already is not.

Shall they both not give two Fs about the kids' needs?

She's thinking about the kids, he's thinking about himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Goodness the men on this thread are so pouty.

Goodness the women on this thread are so dismissive of men's feelings.

On thread about prioritizing women's happiness, man complains women are dismissive of men's feelings.

That pretty much sums it up.

What? Ha ha. Nice reading comprehension. You think the quote “happy wife, happy life” is a positive reference to prioritizing a wife’s happiness?

It’s not. It’s basically “my wife will be nuts around everyone if she isn’t happy and content. So I’ll do whatever it takes for domestic peace.”




“Obviously, you’re not a golfer”.

Smart men would interpret it that way and make it so. Some men treat being kind to their wives as some sort of awful misery.

Nice marmot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I know that sings that stupid phrase was a cheater.

Every guy I know who says this and is genuine about it has a very happy wife and a very happy wife.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't heard this phrase used by anyone under 50

I’m over 50 and don’t hear it used much either. I find it very misogynistic. I am not depending on someone else for my happiness.

Are you a man?

The expression is that everyone in the family is happy if mama is happy. Generally, it’s because women experience more frequent emotional variance. If she is happy, everyone else can be at peace and be happy. If not, everyone else knows it.

Of course I am not a man. A man likely would not find the saying misogynistic. I view my DH as an equal partner and we both need to be happy. Maybe the dynamic in our household is different because I have always been the primary breadwinner so am not playing the role of wife looking to my DH to provide for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe counterintuitive, but it's a patriarchal saying. Be a beneficent dictator. By making the peasants happy, you help your own well-being!

Ding ding ding.

It also sets the wife up to expect her happiness to come from her husband instead of taking responsibility for knowing and communicating her needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I know that sings that stupid phrase was a cheater.

Every guy I know who says this and is genuine about it has a very happy wife and a very happy wife.

Sister wives? I think that's a totally different dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Are you joking? Traditionally, men have dictated everything in a marriage. Surely you know that. As late as the 70's or so, wives couldn't even get credit in their own names . . . . in short, men have always been valuable.

Also, it's a silly saying. You poor thing.

You are absolutely correct. But would you agree though that today we value women’s mental health more than men’s?

NP. I disagree with your last statement.

Society very much values both women and men's mental health.
Men just don't talk about it or read about it or think about it (mental health of them or anybody). And when asked to consider it, they do not or they get angry at the suggestion.

lol your post shows how much society values men’s mental health. It does not. Men are not to complain or be unhappy. They are just there to be used and discarded when they are used up. Make sure you tell this to your sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Are you joking? Traditionally, men have dictated everything in a marriage. Surely you know that. As late as the 70's or so, wives couldn't even get credit in their own names . . . . in short, men have always been valuable.

Also, it's a silly saying. You poor thing.

You are absolutely correct. But would you agree though that today we value women’s mental health more than men’s?

NP. I disagree with your last statement.

Society very much values both women and men's mental health.
Men just don't talk about it or read about it or think about it (mental health of them or anybody). And when asked to consider it, they do not or they get angry at the suggestion.

lol your post shows how much society values men’s mental health. It does not. Men are not to complain or be unhappy. They are just there to be used and discarded when they are used up. Make sure you tell this to your sons.

Dude, who beat you up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why men's happiness isn't considered as valuable?

Because historically, (and not so historically), men have been the ones with the choices to get their own happiness.