Should I ask my husband about chat saved from a female asking him out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - am very confused, on one side I feel that maybe he did not want me to worry and so did not mention / but not sure why he did not just delete the conversation. I don't see any change in his behavior with me - any perspective from men would be great. He is 43 year old man and we have 2 teen kids.

A couple of us have already answered you. He saved the message because it’s nice to remember you were desired.

+1
Married male here. Can say that I like it when women at the gym compliment my appearance or take that extra look. Haven’t cheated with anyone but flirted quite a bit.

[Anonymous]

Is your husband a good provider? Is he gentle and attentive to you and the kids?

You sound like you are lucky. Most women are not. Don’t listen to the angry women here who cannot keep a man.

[Anonymous]

My spouse doesn't have the password to my phone, as it has access to various work apps and it's against the corporate security policy.

[Anonymous]

It’s really not a good sign. Gyms are notorious for breeding affairs combo of dopamine release, bodies more revealed etc I would never have suspected until it happened to me and it started at his gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - am very confused, on one side I feel that maybe he did not want me to worry and so did not mention / but not sure why he did not just delete the conversation. I don't see any change in his behavior with me - any perspective from men would be great. He is 43 year old man and we have 2 teen kids.

A couple of us have already answered you. He saved the message because it’s nice to remember you were desired.

+1
Married male here. Can say that I like it when women at the gym compliment my appearance or take that extra look. Haven’t cheated with anyone YET but flirted quite a bit.

Fixed it for you.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's a huge problem, that his response was simply that he had plans (and it didn't mention those plans were with his freaking wife and kids).

But you looking at his phone is a huge problem too.

But you know all of this, right?

It's really not. they are married, it's ok to look at spouse's phone.

Keep your wide eyes open and you should ask him why he didn't mention you to the woman who asked him out.

Absolutely not. That's a violation of trust. No one should be snooping into anyone's phone behind their back. My DH would never do this, nor would I.

It’s not snooping if you are married.

Psyyyychoooopath… you are a walking red flag.

What do you people do on your phones that you are so terrified of your spouse discovering?

WTF is wrong with you people? I have zero to hide from my DH of 20 years nor does he. I could probably guess his cell and computer pw but in 20 years of marriage it has never once occurred ti me to look ( or snoop) at his phone. I can’t even imagine living like that. Those that feel the need to search or have full access to a spouse’a phone sound incredibly entitled, insecure and bizarre. And to the prior “gay” marriage PP( as if that mattered at all to the point of your post) - it’s couples like you who have zero sense of privacy or boundaries or trust in your partner that are more likely to get divorced. You all sound like a bunch of insecure and immature teenagers. Pathetic. Grow up.

You do protest too much. What are you hiding?

DP here. I am a woman who has never and will never cheat. Twice in our 25-year marriage, my husband has jumped to insane conclusions by basically hacking in to my work email, snooping, and then accusing me of cheating. Both instances were such stretches from what he read and it basically ruined years of my life because he is a controlling, insecure weirdo who snooped on my computer and carelessly read something. I had and still do give zero evidence or reason for him to think I would cheat. Anybody who thinks snooping around your spouse's phone, email, laptop, whatever, is healthy, is the one with the problem. I agree the PP is rather vehement, but you disagreeing with her are just the typical judgemental, old-fashioned, probably SAHM DC moms who are just fine with being controlled by their husbands and then not trusting them. It's nuts.

Spouses that use each other’s phones and a spouse hacking your email and being a nut job are two entirely different things.

You don't ever check to see what porn, or how much porn, your spouse is watching?

How can you do that anymore they just use.porn mode????

You mean incognito browser? You can disable that, it's easy, see on youtube.

For good?! Seriously??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's a huge problem, that his response was simply that he had plans (and it didn't mention those plans were with his freaking wife and kids).

But you looking at his phone is a huge problem too.

But you know all of this, right?

It's really not. they are married, it's ok to look at spouse's phone.

Keep your wide eyes open and you should ask him why he didn't mention you to the woman who asked him out.

Absolutely not. That's a violation of trust. No one should be snooping into anyone's phone behind their back. My DH would never do this, nor would I.

It’s not snooping if you are married.

Psyyyychoooopath… you are a walking red flag.

What do you people do on your phones that you are so terrified of your spouse discovering?

WTF is wrong with you people? I have zero to hide from my DH of 20 years nor does he. I could probably guess his cell and computer pw but in 20 years of marriage it has never once occurred ti me to look ( or snoop) at his phone. I can’t even imagine living like that. Those that feel the need to search or have full access to a spouse’a phone sound incredibly entitled, insecure and bizarre. And to the prior “gay” marriage PP( as if that mattered at all to the point of your post) - it’s couples like you who have zero sense of privacy or boundaries or trust in your partner that are more likely to get divorced. You all sound like a bunch of insecure and immature teenagers. Pathetic. Grow up.

You do protest too much. What are you hiding?

DP here. I am a woman who has never and will never cheat. Twice in our 25-year marriage, my husband has jumped to insane conclusions by basically hacking in to my work email, snooping, and then accusing me of cheating. Both instances were such stretches from what he read and it basically ruined years of my life because he is a controlling, insecure weirdo who snooped on my computer and carelessly read something. I had and still do give zero evidence or reason for him to think I would cheat. Anybody who thinks snooping around your spouse's phone, email, laptop, whatever, is healthy, is the one with the problem. I agree the PP is rather vehement, but you disagreeing with her are just the typical judgemental, old-fashioned, probably SAHM DC moms who are just fine with being controlled by their husbands and then not trusting them. It's nuts.

Spouses that use each other’s phones and a spouse hacking your email and being a nut job are two entirely different things.

You don't ever check to see what porn, or how much porn, your spouse is watching?

How can you do that anymore they just use.porn mode????

You mean incognito browser? You can disable that, it's easy, see on youtube.

For good?! Seriously??

Well, you can add it back if you change your mind.

[Anonymous]

If you go thru your spouse's phone, your marriage is in the toilet. I don't even go thru my kids' phones. Get a grip, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you go thru your spouse's phone, your marriage is in the toilet. I don't even go thru my kids' phones. Get a grip, people.

untrue

[Anonymous]

Why does this woman even have your husbands number? What reason would he have to be texting her or vice versa? Th ate the start of the problem.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's a huge problem, that his response was simply that he had plans (and it didn't mention those plans were with his freaking wife and kids).

But you looking at his phone is a huge problem too.

But you know all of this, right?

It's really not. they are married, it's ok to look at spouse's phone.

Keep your wide eyes open and you should ask him why he didn't mention you to the woman who asked him out.

Absolutely not. That's a violation of trust. No one should be snooping into anyone's phone behind their back. My DH would never do this, nor would I.

It’s not snooping if you are married.

Psyyyychoooopath… you are a walking red flag.

What do you people do on your phones that you are so terrified of your spouse discovering?

WTF is wrong with you people? I have zero to hide from my DH of 20 years nor does he. I could probably guess his cell and computer pw but in 20 years of marriage it has never once occurred ti me to look ( or snoop) at his phone. I can’t even imagine living like that. Those that feel the need to search or have full access to a spouse’a phone sound incredibly entitled, insecure and bizarre. And to the prior “gay” marriage PP( as if that mattered at all to the point of your post) - it’s couples like you who have zero sense of privacy or boundaries or trust in your partner that are more likely to get divorced. You all sound like a bunch of insecure and immature teenagers. Pathetic. Grow up.

You do protest too much. What are you hiding?

DP here. I am a woman who has never and will never cheat. Twice in our 25-year marriage, my husband has jumped to insane conclusions by basically hacking in to my work email, snooping, and then accusing me of cheating. Both instances were such stretches from what he read and it basically ruined years of my life because he is a controlling, insecure weirdo who snooped on my computer and carelessly read something. I had and still do give zero evidence or reason for him to think I would cheat. Anybody who thinks snooping around your spouse's phone, email, laptop, whatever, is healthy, is the one with the problem. I agree the PP is rather vehement, but you disagreeing with her are just the typical judgemental, old-fashioned, probably SAHM DC moms who are just fine with being controlled by their husbands and then not trusting them. It's nuts.

Spouses that use each other’s phones and a spouse hacking your email and being a nut job are two entirely different things.

You don't ever check to see what porn, or how much porn, your spouse is watching?

How can you do that anymore they just use.porn mode????

You mean incognito browser? You can disable that, it's easy, see on youtube.

For good?! Seriously??

Well, you can add it back if you change your mind.

As can the person you are trying to spy on.

They can also... wait for it..... buy an extra phone for $50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you go thru your spouse's phone, your marriage is in the toilet. I don't even go thru my kids' phones. Get a grip, people.

You should definitely go through your kids’ phones on occasion… what kind of negligent parent are you?

[Anonymous]

If she meant tennis, it might be okay.
I mean if the wife does not play.

BUT, I also do not like that he did not mention being married (unless they have discussed that in person). And why are they even using what's app (if they are both American?).

I would have a come to Jesus talk about who she is. (Not angry, just serious). What their relationship is. Why he did not tell you and why he kept the message.

Then I would ask generally if he has ever seen anyone from the gym outside the gym. Does he think making (nonwork) plans with another woman is okay in the context of your marriage.

I would be nervous about this guy. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's a huge problem, that his response was simply that he had plans (and it didn't mention those plans were with his freaking wife and kids).

But you looking at his phone is a huge problem too.

But you know all of this, right?

It's really not. they are married, it's ok to look at spouse's phone.

Keep your wide eyes open and you should ask him why he didn't mention you to the woman who asked him out.

Absolutely not. That's a violation of trust. No one should be snooping into anyone's phone behind their back. My DH would never do this, nor would I.

It’s not snooping if you are married.

Psyyyychoooopath… you are a walking red flag.

What do you people do on your phones that you are so terrified of your spouse discovering?

WTF is wrong with you people? I have zero to hide from my DH of 20 years nor does he. I could probably guess his cell and computer pw but in 20 years of marriage it has never once occurred ti me to look ( or snoop) at his phone. I can’t even imagine living like that. Those that feel the need to search or have full access to a spouse’a phone sound incredibly entitled, insecure and bizarre. And to the prior “gay” marriage PP( as if that mattered at all to the point of your post) - it’s couples like you who have zero sense of privacy or boundaries or trust in your partner that are more likely to get divorced. You all sound like a bunch of insecure and immature teenagers. Pathetic. Grow up.

You do protest too much. What are you hiding?

DP here. I am a woman who has never and will never cheat. Twice in our 25-year marriage, my husband has jumped to insane conclusions by basically hacking in to my work email, snooping, and then accusing me of cheating. Both instances were such stretches from what he read and it basically ruined years of my life because he is a controlling, insecure weirdo who snooped on my computer and carelessly read something. I had and still do give zero evidence or reason for him to think I would cheat. Anybody who thinks snooping around your spouse's phone, email, laptop, whatever, is healthy, is the one with the problem. I agree the PP is rather vehement, but you disagreeing with her are just the typical judgemental, old-fashioned, probably SAHM DC moms who are just fine with being controlled by their husbands and then not trusting them. It's nuts.

Spouses that use each other’s phones and a spouse hacking your email and being a nut job are two entirely different things.

You don't ever check to see what porn, or how much porn, your spouse is watching?

How can you do that anymore they just use.porn mode????

You mean incognito browser? You can disable that, it's easy, see on youtube.

For good?! Seriously??

Well, you can add it back if you change your mind.

As can the person you are trying to spy on.

They can also... wait for it..... buy an extra phone for $50

Duh....and wait for it(?).... they are not bothering to by a phone cause they don't realize anyone is checking their chrome browser computer history

[Anonymous]

He probably saved it to show you and then thought it might make you upset so he decided not to or forgot.