Should I ask my husband about chat saved from a female asking him out

[Anonymous]

I cannot understand why … we do share phones - did he want me to find out so that he wants me to know other women find him attractive- he does seem to be overly focused on his looks recently and has been going to the gym regularly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why … we do share phones - did he want me to find out so that he wants me to know other women find him attractive- he does seem to be overly focused on his looks recently and has been going to the gym regularly

oh girl, that's a huge red flag

[Anonymous]

Should I casually confront this lady sort of introduce myself to her?

[Anonymous]

He probably meant to delete it. Think of all the messages you missed. He didn’t mention his wife and family because they are already banging, she knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should I casually confront this lady sort of introduce myself to her?

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's a huge problem, that his response was simply that he had plans (and it didn't mention those plans were with his freaking wife and kids).

But you looking at his phone is a huge problem too.

But you know all of this, right?

It's really not. they are married, it's ok to look at spouse's phone.

Keep your wide eyes open and you should ask him why he didn't mention you to the woman who asked him out.

Absolutely not. That's a violation of trust. No one should be snooping into anyone's phone behind their back. My DH would never do this, nor would I.

I guess if you have the expectation that your phone is not to be looked at… my spouse and I do not have this agreement, we know each other’s phone passwords and I would have zero problem with him looking through my phone. Then again I have nothing to hide from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's a huge problem, that his response was simply that he had plans (and it didn't mention those plans were with his freaking wife and kids).

But you looking at his phone is a huge problem too.

But you know all of this, right?

It's really not. they are married, it's ok to look at spouse's phone.

Keep your wide eyes open and you should ask him why he didn't mention you to the woman who asked him out.

Absolutely not. That's a violation of trust. No one should be snooping into anyone's phone behind their back. My DH would never do this, nor would I.

And you'll be divorced inside 3 years. Because clearly you both have trust issues, and/or something to hide.

I'm gay, and my wife and I know each other's phone and laptop codes, use each other's phones interchangeably -- we just grab whichever is closest. Because why would there be anything on there I didn't want her to see? (Full disclosure -- we also don't do gifts or surprises of any kind.)

I can't imagine telling her "I'm changing my phone code and I'm not telling you what it is." That would be completely bizarre to both of us.

That said, I have also archived messages I meant to delete, OP. I don't consciously archive anything because I'm not the POTUS who has to preserve documents for history, but I'm sure there are hundreds archived for posterity anyway. I expect historians will be thrilled to uncover my plans to meet Carol for lunch next Tuesday.

[Anonymous]

This would irk me so badly, I wouldn’t tell him first, I’d tell his mom and sister. (Maybe a bad move). But I’d love for him to remember why he has integrity, and it’s not just for marriage. It’s part of a good character that people who love you expect you to have.

[Anonymous]

OP come back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why … we do share phones - did he want me to find out so that he wants me to know other women find him attractive- he does seem to be overly focused on his looks recently and has been going to the gym regularly

oh girl, that's a huge red flag

+1

I can’t imagine not bringing this up to my DH. But I rarely hold my tongue, tbh.

[Anonymous]

When I read that she invited him to a couples game, I assumed that she meant you and your husband, and this woman and hers.

I don't snoop through anyone's phone, including my husband's, but we like and trust one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I read that she invited him to a couples game, I assumed that she meant you and your husband, and this woman and hers.

I don't snoop through anyone's phone, including my husband's, but we like and trust one another.

I did, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I read that she invited him to a couples game, I assumed that she meant you and your husband, and this woman and hers.

I don't snoop through anyone's phone, including my husband's, but we like and trust one another.

I did, too!

Yes, me too.

[Anonymous]

Definitely. Not even a question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's a huge problem, that his response was simply that he had plans (and it didn't mention those plans were with his freaking wife and kids).

But you looking at his phone is a huge problem too.

But you know all of this, right?

It's really not. they are married, it's ok to look at spouse's phone.

Keep your wide eyes open and you should ask him why he didn't mention you to the woman who asked him out.

Absolutely not. That's a violation of trust. No one should be snooping into anyone's phone behind their back. My DH would never do this, nor would I.

It’s not snooping if you are married.

Psyyyychoooopath… you are a walking red flag.