Jealous of Big Law partner spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money does a typical Biglaw partner in a top 10 or 20 law firm in DC bring home in a month? I keep asking and nobody tells me. Am I right that it’s like $200,000 a month?

It doesn't work that way. Assuming you are just looking at equity partners (many firms have non-equity partners who are paid more like associates or counsel), it varies dramatically by firm. In the top 20 AmLaw firms, profits per equity partner can range from 1.1m to 7.1m. Per partner draw will loosely track this, but firms have a variety of ways for determining partner compensation, and at a given firm the actually annual draw could be well above or below that depending on whether the partner is a major rainmaker, very senior or junior, etc. Most firms have a compensation committee that makes these determinations and it's one of the most political processes at a law firm.

And then, of course, law firm profits can vary at these firms as well, and that will impact annual draw. Add to that that many firms issue draws on a quarterly basis, instead of monthly. Also, new partners must purchase their equity in the firm and that will impact your draw as well. So the "typical" monthly income of a BigLaw partner in DC can vary quite a bit. If you asked me what I think the annual income of a certain kind of partner at a specific firm was, I could probably ballpark it for you. But I can't tell you what the typical salary is for partners across a pretty wide range of firms without knowing anything about that partner or the firm they are with. The range would be huge.

I’m at the DC office of NY biglaw. I make about $4m (and should make in the $4m-$5m range for the next 3-5 years). I get a monthly draw of about $40k, and quarterly distributions to cover estimated taxes. Then profit distribs when the firm has the cash to pay them. So it’s not like a fixed salary per month (except for the monthly draw). The biggest months are Nov and Dec. In total I clear about 50% of the gross (so $2m), after retirement plan contributions. So averaged out that’s like $167,000 per month net.

And I work a lot. 60 hours per week, every week, between billables, client development, admin, travel. When I’m not working I’m spending time with kids and wife. I make almost all BTS, weekend sports, most weekday sports, but I have NO PERSONAL HOBBIES or free time. But that’s the choice I made.

I’m 50 and a set to retire at 54 with about $15m. College is paid for (3 kids, oldest is 16). Mortgage on primary home. One investment property.

Does your spouse work? What's the divorce rate among your peers?

[Anonymous]

Spouse of big law partner here.

DH makes close to 2M. There has been one night in the last 6 months he wasn't home in time for dinner and bedtime. Oldest kid plays travel soccer, and he goes to every game (I don't - not my thing). He also coaches younger kid's sports team, so obviously attends / leads every weekday practice and every weekend game. The two of us have date night weekly, and usually spend an hour together every night after the kids are in bed. Then he does another 90 minutes of work while I read next to him.

Overall he works around 50-60 hours a week max. He's highly efficient and very smart (HYP educated), and he's also good at client relationships and managing other lawyers, so he brings in a lot since he takes a cut of the entire client bill - in other words, the hours of those he manages, not just his own hours. Working the longest hours is not always correlated with bringing in the most money.

I know it's tempting to believe that those with more money must somehow be miserable, but it's not always true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't work. Kids have everything they need, and I don't think about money. Plus, I think marriage is easier when money is not an issue. But you have to be ok with someone who works a lot, and you have to take care of every detail in your life - kind of like being a single parent - because the other person works more than anyone else you'll ever meet.

It is nothing like being a single parent.

It's "like being a single parent without any financial concerns"

[Anonymous]

No. I don't know anyone in this situation without a huge power imbalance in their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clarifying question: Do you mean jealous of the first or second big law spouse?

Oh stop. I’m completely serious. They don’t all get divorced, they all make sooo much money, and I’ll bet they don’t ALL work that hard.

It must be nice to have that kind of money.

You don't make "sooo much money" without working that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an actual single parent, can I ask what people mean when they say that they wouldn’t be able to work with a big law spouse?

People work and parent with zero help from a spouse all the time. The Big Law families I know have enough money to pay for a lot of help, and they show up for the most important things. How is that not far easier than what single parents do every day?

It probably is easier, but that doesn't mean you have to find it easy or choose it when you have the option of a perfectly capable co-parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't work. Kids have everything they need, and I don't think about money. Plus, I think marriage is easier when money is not an issue. But you have to be ok with someone who works a lot, and you have to take care of every detail in your life - kind of like being a single parent - because the other person works more than anyone else you'll ever meet.

It is nothing like being a single parent.

It's "like being a single parent without any financial concerns"

It's still not like being a single parent. You have a partner with whom you can plan for the future, presumably, he is at least occasionally around for games/shows/parent-teacher night at school, there is another adult living in your house so you can do little things like take your dog for a walk or run to the store while the kids are sleeping. Come on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money does a typical Biglaw partner in a top 10 or 20 law firm in DC bring home in a month? I keep asking and nobody tells me. Am I right that it’s like $200,000 a month?

It doesn't work that way. Assuming you are just looking at equity partners (many firms have non-equity partners who are paid more like associates or counsel), it varies dramatically by firm. In the top 20 AmLaw firms, profits per equity partner can range from 1.1m to 7.1m. Per partner draw will loosely track this, but firms have a variety of ways for determining partner compensation, and at a given firm the actually annual draw could be well above or below that depending on whether the partner is a major rainmaker, very senior or junior, etc. Most firms have a compensation committee that makes these determinations and it's one of the most political processes at a law firm.

And then, of course, law firm profits can vary at these firms as well, and that will impact annual draw. Add to that that many firms issue draws on a quarterly basis, instead of monthly. Also, new partners must purchase their equity in the firm and that will impact your draw as well. So the "typical" monthly income of a BigLaw partner in DC can vary quite a bit. If you asked me what I think the annual income of a certain kind of partner at a specific firm was, I could probably ballpark it for you. But I can't tell you what the typical salary is for partners across a pretty wide range of firms without knowing anything about that partner or the firm they are with. The range would be huge.

I’m at the DC office of NY biglaw. I make about $4m (and should make in the $4m-$5m range for the next 3-5 years). I get a monthly draw of about $40k, and quarterly distributions to cover estimated taxes. Then profit distribs when the firm has the cash to pay them. So it’s not like a fixed salary per month (except for the monthly draw). The biggest months are Nov and Dec. In total I clear about 50% of the gross (so $2m), after retirement plan contributions. So averaged out that’s like $167,000 per month net.

And I work a lot. 60 hours per week, every week, between billables, client development, admin, travel. When I’m not working I’m spending time with kids and wife. I make almost all BTS, weekend sports, most weekday sports, but I have NO PERSONAL HOBBIES or free time. But that’s the choice I made.

I’m 50 and a set to retire at 54 with about $15m. College is paid for (3 kids, oldest is 16). Mortgage on primary home. One investment property.

Does your spouse work? What's the divorce rate among your peers?

Spouse works FT. She's a rockstar and handles 90% of the logistics. I plan vacations, go grocery shopping on weekends, take oeldest child to college visits, and do the things I mentioned above. Maybe one weekday night out per 3 weeks (I work once the kids are down for the night). It is hard, but my wife and I are driven and don't believe in idle time. We also grew up LMC and don't see the point in/don't have the luxury to relax. We'll do that eventually. Our kids see the value and benefits of hard work, and accept that I have to squeeze in calls so that I can make their games, drop them off, etc. Eldest was talking to a friend once when I was on a call in the car, and said something like "yes, he has to take calls, but he's always around. Other parents can only take vacation at certain times or can't drop off at practice. My dad can be more flexible like that."

DK about divorce rate at my firm, and don't care. Life is a canvas, so I don't live by other people's rules (but I am not a jerk either). When partners at my firm retire, we somethimes have a dinner for them and their families come. 100% of the retired partners apologize for missing time with their families. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to know how much orthodontists and oral surgeons make. Braces are 4K and wisdom tooth extraction is almost 5k. My kid’s recent procedure took 20 minutes. Both of the doctors my family used seem relaxed and non-stressed plus work doesn’t follow you home.

I work in Big Law and have a brother who is a dentist. I don't think owning your dental practice is relaxing. Those guys are hustlers too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like to know how much orthodontists and oral surgeons make. Braces are 4K and wisdom tooth extraction is almost 5k. My kid’s recent procedure took 20 minutes. Both of the doctors my family used seem relaxed and non-stressed plus work doesn’t follow you home.

I work in Big Law and have a brother who is a dentist. I don't think owning your dental practice is relaxing. Those guys are hustlers too.

And he does have to be on call for certain hours too - as do the doctors I know. For whatever reason I think you're looking at doctors with rose colored glasses only. Or maybe the ones you know are only derms, idk.

[Anonymous]

Nah, go for someone in finance or tech. The hours are much, much better.

My DH makes high 6/low 7 figures depending on the year and only works about 40 hours a week. 50 during a challenging time but that's rare.

As he's moved up the food chain, he works less and earns more. Kinda crazy how that works. But it doesn't sound like that happens in BigLaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse of big law partner here.

DH makes close to 2M. There has been one night in the last 6 months he wasn't home in time for dinner and bedtime. Oldest kid plays travel soccer, and he goes to every game (I don't - not my thing). He also coaches younger kid's sports team, so obviously attends / leads every weekday practice and every weekend game. The two of us have date night weekly, and usually spend an hour together every night after the kids are in bed. Then he does another 90 minutes of work while I read next to him.

Overall he works around 50-60 hours a week max. He's highly efficient and very smart (HYP educated), and he's also good at client relationships and managing other lawyers, so he brings in a lot since he takes a cut of the entire client bill - in other words, the hours of those he manages, not just his own hours. Working the longest hours is not always correlated with bringing in the most money.

I know it's tempting to believe that those with more money must somehow be miserable, but it's not always true.

I find it extraordinarily hard to believe that he wasn’t home only once for dinner in the last six months. I can’t think of a single Biglaw partner in the United States of America who can make that claim. Other than that, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money does a typical Biglaw partner in a top 10 or 20 law firm in DC bring home in a month? I keep asking and nobody tells me. Am I right that it’s like $200,000 a month?

It doesn't work that way. Assuming you are just looking at equity partners (many firms have non-equity partners who are paid more like associates or counsel), it varies dramatically by firm. In the top 20 AmLaw firms, profits per equity partner can range from 1.1m to 7.1m. Per partner draw will loosely track this, but firms have a variety of ways for determining partner compensation, and at a given firm the actually annual draw could be well above or below that depending on whether the partner is a major rainmaker, very senior or junior, etc. Most firms have a compensation committee that makes these determinations and it's one of the most political processes at a law firm.

And then, of course, law firm profits can vary at these firms as well, and that will impact annual draw. Add to that that many firms issue draws on a quarterly basis, instead of monthly. Also, new partners must purchase their equity in the firm and that will impact your draw as well. So the "typical" monthly income of a BigLaw partner in DC can vary quite a bit. If you asked me what I think the annual income of a certain kind of partner at a specific firm was, I could probably ballpark it for you. But I can't tell you what the typical salary is for partners across a pretty wide range of firms without knowing anything about that partner or the firm they are with. The range would be huge.

I’m at the DC office of NY biglaw. I make about $4m (and should make in the $4m-$5m range for the next 3-5 years). I get a monthly draw of about $40k, and quarterly distributions to cover estimated taxes. Then profit distribs when the firm has the cash to pay them. So it’s not like a fixed salary per month (except for the monthly draw). The biggest months are Nov and Dec. In total I clear about 50% of the gross (so $2m), after retirement plan contributions. So averaged out that’s like $167,000 per month net.

And I work a lot. 60 hours per week, every week, between billables, client development, admin, travel. When I’m not working I’m spending time with kids and wife. I make almost all BTS, weekend sports, most weekday sports, but I have NO PERSONAL HOBBIES or free time. But that’s the choice I made.

I’m 50 and a set to retire at 54 with about $15m. College is paid for (3 kids, oldest is 16). Mortgage on primary home. One investment property.

Does your spouse work? What's the divorce rate among your peers?

Spouse works FT. She's a rockstar and handles 90% of the logistics. I plan vacations, go grocery shopping on weekends, take oeldest child to college visits, and do the things I mentioned above. Maybe one weekday night out per 3 weeks (I work once the kids are down for the night). It is hard, but my wife and I are driven and don't believe in idle time. We also grew up LMC and don't see the point in/don't have the luxury to relax. We'll do that eventually. Our kids see the value and benefits of hard work, and accept that I have to squeeze in calls so that I can make their games, drop them off, etc. Eldest was talking to a friend once when I was on a call in the car, and said something like "yes, he has to take calls, but he's always around. Other parents can only take vacation at certain times or can't drop off at practice. My dad can be more flexible like that."

DK about divorce rate at my firm, and don't care. Life is a canvas, so I don't live by other people's rules (but I am not a jerk either). When partners at my firm retire, we somethimes have a dinner for them and their families come. 100% of the retired partners apologize for missing time with their families. No thanks.

Your kid has no way of knowing that and it’s very obvious that if he actually said that - which is probably fictional - he’s simply parroting what you’ve told him to make you both feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't work. Kids have everything they need, and I don't think about money. Plus, I think marriage is easier when money is not an issue. But you have to be ok with someone who works a lot, and you have to take care of every detail in your life - kind of like being a single parent - because the other person works more than anyone else you'll ever meet.

It is nothing like being a single parent.

It's "like being a single parent without any financial concerns"

It's still not like being a single parent. You have a partner with whom you can plan for the future, presumably, he is at least occasionally around for games/shows/parent-teacher night at school, there is another adult living in your house so you can do little things like take your dog for a walk or run to the store while the kids are sleeping. Come on!

I actually had a friend who had to quit coming to Orange Theory with me because the class was at 7pm and her BigLaw DH couldn't be home early enough one night a week for her to go to the class. He might be home by then sometimes, but he couldn't guarantee it. She suggested getting a sitter but he rolled his eyes at her and said it was ridiculous to hire a sitter once a week so that she could go spend money on a workout class, when she could just work out at home after she'd fed the kids and put them to bed.

That's not every BigLaw spouse, but it's a not insignificant percent of them. It's not the same as being a single parent. In some ways, it's worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I go on vacation by myself with kids, scheduled C-sections at the end of the day, and never had a honeymoon.

hard life....want some cheese?