Jealous of Big Law partner spouses?

[Anonymous]

The hours suck and those jobs are stressful. If I could have my DH have any job, it definitely wouldn't be a big law partner!!!

I'd much rather be married to a dermatologist (or be one myself but I don't function well on little sleep so never would have made it through med school)!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is at least in part due to the stress of the job, tight deadlines and heavy workload but the biglaw partners I've met don't seem like pleasant people that I would want to be married too or have children with. I'm sure some of it is also the type A personality needed to make partner in biglaw.

You are right. Workload is not heavy though. Appearances are.

All about appearances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much money does your Biglaw partner spouse (husband, I assume) bring home each month?

Okay OP, I'll play. What law school did your spouse attend? THAT usually dictates how much your "lawyer spouse" will make. Now, can we PLEASE stop having so many of these threads about how you pine for big law money. Or just spend the time you spend salivating over it going to a decent law school yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money does your Biglaw partner spouse (husband, I assume) bring home each month?

Okay OP, I'll play. What law school did your spouse attend? THAT usually dictates how much your "lawyer spouse" will make. Now, can we PLEASE stop having so many of these threads about how you pine for big law money. Or just spend the time you spend salivating over it going to a decent law school yourself.

Are you married to a Biglaw partner or are you one yourself? How much does the Biglaw partner in your household make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is at least in part due to the stress of the job, tight deadlines and heavy workload but the biglaw partners I've met don't seem like pleasant people that I would want to be married too or have children with. I'm sure some of it is also the type A personality needed to make partner in biglaw.

You are right. Workload is not heavy though. Appearances are.

All about appearances.

What are you going on about? Big law senior partners pull in the big clients, they do not eff around. The firm is not just there handing out money to anyone. That is not how it works. Why don't you understand this OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money does your Biglaw partner spouse (husband, I assume) bring home each month?

Okay OP, I'll play. What law school did your spouse attend? THAT usually dictates how much your "lawyer spouse" will make. Now, can we PLEASE stop having so many of these threads about how you pine for big law money. Or just spend the time you spend salivating over it going to a decent law school yourself.

Are you married to a Biglaw partner or are you one yourself? How much does the Biglaw partner in your household make?

Let it go, already! You are completely overdoing this, OP.

How much do you think your DH deserves? As much as someone pulling in the big clients? As much as someone who graduated from a top three law school? What are you expecting here?

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to stop pining for something that just is not going to happen if it has not already happened.

How old is your spouse? How big is his current firm? What type of lawyer? What does he bring to the table? Does he have millions to buy in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money does your Biglaw partner spouse (husband, I assume) bring home each month?

Okay OP, I'll play. What law school did your spouse attend? THAT usually dictates how much your "lawyer spouse" will make. Now, can we PLEASE stop having so many of these threads about how you pine for big law money. Or just spend the time you spend salivating over it going to a decent law school yourself.

Are you married to a Biglaw partner or are you one yourself? How much does the Biglaw partner in your household make?

Let it go, already! You are completely overdoing this, OP.

How much do you think your DH deserves? As much as someone pulling in the big clients? As much as someone who graduated from a top three law school? What are you expecting here?

I’m big expecting anything. I’m just curious and this is an anonymous forum.

$200,000 a month?

[Anonymous]

I mean I’m NOT expecting anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... but then you'd have to be a Big Law spouse.

But you never see your spouse. It would be the best of both world for DCUM- spouse makes lots of money and you do not have to have sex with them because they are never around. Win/win!

[Anonymous]

The big law divorce rates are high, which is especially tough since the spouse has stuck it out through associate years and sometimes law school too. Unfortunately, lawyers are adept at timing things and know their earning potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure this is at least in part due to the stress of the job, tight deadlines and heavy workload but the biglaw partners I've met don't seem like pleasant people that I would want to be married too or have children with. I'm sure some of it is also the type A personality needed to make partner in biglaw.

You are right. Workload is not heavy though. Appearances are.

All about appearances.

What are you going on about? Big law senior partners pull in the big clients, they do not eff around. The firm is not just there handing out money to anyone. That is not how it works. Why don't you understand this OP?

Lol what are YOU going on about? I work there and taking the VPs and lobbyists out for dinner to “pull them in” - as you say - is LONG work, but not “heavy.” Building relationships is not difficult work; it’s just time-consuming. The actual filing work and lawyering is no longer what we do. The associates do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you fine if they're stuck working and on calls on holidays and in the middle of family vacations? With having them come home after 10pm many nights?

One of my closest friends is at Big Law spouse (to another close friend) and she complains... a lot. I honestly think sometimes she forgets about the money and the advantages it buys them. But I also get it because this is partly because some of the downsides make those advantages less appealing. Examples: they can afford to travel really luxuriously pretty much anywhere, but her spouse will be working the entire time. They have a really nice house but very rarely entertain the way she wants to because the odds that her spouse will need to hop on a call in the middle of a dinner party on a Saturday night is actually quite high (I have witnessed this firsthand). They only have one kid and my friend has strongly implied that this is at least partly because her life at home with a kid is quite lonely, and by stopping at one she is able to work (part time in a low paying, flexible job) and actually be around other people and feel like she has a bit of a life.

I know a lot of moms in their 40s and sadly this friend is probably among the most unhappy, despite also being probably the most well off. I know not all big law spouses feel this way -- I know another couple with a similar set up and they both seem really happy. Though notably, they live in the Midwest and I think the Big Law lifestyle is really different there, plus the overall culture is much more family-friendly and family-focused, so I think the SAHM in that family is more fulfilled and feels much less isolated.

[Anonymous]

How much money does a typical Biglaw partner in a top 10 or 20 law firm in DC bring home in a month? I keep asking and nobody tells me. Am I right that it’s like $200,000 a month?

[Anonymous]

Is being a big law parter especially prestigious and lucerative in the DC area? It doesn't strike me as something worth arguing about like I've seen on DCUM this Summer. I guess my experience is in the Bay Area and NYC where law is secondary in the hierarchy to tech and banking (and is mostly a service profession to those industries). Given how many lawyers there are per capita here, I can't imagine being a big law partner impresses that many people.
Wachtell was the firm in NYC that most impressed people in my circles and they are not here at all, right?