Is virginity a red flag at 40?

[Anonymous]

It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy who was a virgin at 25 - and we weren't even 25 when we dated, we were 30 and 31 - and in hindsight it was a huge red flag. I broke up with him because he had issues developing emotional intimacy, and in later conversations with my therapist after the breakup when I mentioned the virginity thing, she was like "That's pretty weird for a guy who isn't religious. Do you think there's something more there?" So, I would see it as a red flag that he's emotionally unavailable. But I have baggage so your mileage may vary.

Brett Kavanaugh was a virgin until 26. But he "talked a good game" (about action with the ladies) well before that...

Wait did he ever state the age; I just remember him being vague about it (and I'm gonna guess he rounded down)?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy who was a virgin at 25 - and we weren't even 25 when we dated, we were 30 and 31 - and in hindsight it was a huge red flag. I broke up with him because he had issues developing emotional intimacy, and in later conversations with my therapist after the breakup when I mentioned the virginity thing, she was like "That's pretty weird for a guy who isn't religious. Do you think there's something more there?" So, I would see it as a red flag that he's emotionally unavailable. But I have baggage so your mileage may vary.

Brett Kavanaugh was a virgin until 26. But he "talked a good game" (about action with the ladies) well before that...

Wait did he ever state the age; I just remember him being vague about it (and I'm gonna guess he rounded down)?!

He didn't state the age. He said he was not sexually active in high school or college. So, that's not the same as 26.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you went on a few dates with a guy and everything was perfect but you found out he was a 40 year old virgin - with no explanation of why other than "it just never happened" - would you be put off?

Let me put this lightly.

YEEEESSSSSS, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's nice he was honest with you vs lying and shows he trusts you. You must be a kind person.

No she's not. A kind person would not have posted this thread

A kind person can't have questions or doubts about a guy she's seeing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you went on a few dates with a guy and everything was perfect but you found out he was a 40 year old virgin - with no explanation of why other than "it just never happened" - would you be put off?

Let me put this lightly.

YEEEESSSSSS, OP.

Lmao

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy who was a virgin at 25 - and we weren't even 25 when we dated, we were 30 and 31 - and in hindsight it was a huge red flag. I broke up with him because he had issues developing emotional intimacy, and in later conversations with my therapist after the breakup when I mentioned the virginity thing, she was like "That's pretty weird for a guy who isn't religious. Do you think there's something more there?" So, I would see it as a red flag that he's emotionally unavailable. But I have baggage so your mileage may vary.

Brett Kavanaugh was a virgin until 26. But he "talked a good game" (about action with the ladies) well before that...

Wait did he ever state the age; I just remember him being vague about it (and I'm gonna guess he rounded down)?!

He didn't state the age. He said he was not sexually active in high school or college. So, that's not the same as 26.

He was 26.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy who was a virgin at 25 - and we weren't even 25 when we dated, we were 30 and 31 - and in hindsight it was a huge red flag. I broke up with him because he had issues developing emotional intimacy, and in later conversations with my therapist after the breakup when I mentioned the virginity thing, she was like "That's pretty weird for a guy who isn't religious. Do you think there's something more there?" So, I would see it as a red flag that he's emotionally unavailable. But I have baggage so your mileage may vary.

Brett Kavanaugh was a virgin until 26. But he "talked a good game" (about action with the ladies) well before that...

Wait did he ever state the age; I just remember him being vague about it (and I'm gonna guess he rounded down)?!

He didn't state the age. He said he was not sexually active in high school or college. So, that's not the same as 26.

He was 26.

Oh, were you there? That's so sick, what was having sex w/ Brett Kavanaugh like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

Yeah sounds like he's gay. Which was my first thought when I read the first post of this thread and then thankfully skipped to the last page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

I don't get the trickle-truthing OPs. If she had that experience, why is she vaguely asking if being a virgin is a "red flag" instead of describing this experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

Yeah sounds like he's gay. Which was my first thought when I read the first post of this thread and then thankfully skipped to the last page.

Or he has psychological or hormonal or other issues.

Men don't fail at sex because they are "terrible at it". A man wouldn't even know he was terrible at it unless his partner was telling him, which would of course be an instant mood killer. A man can have successfully sex with a sock. A man goes soft and can't get hard again because he is psychologically out of whack or has some bodily chemistry problem. In this case, psychology is the obvious choice. You kick a man out of the zone and he won't get back in immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

I don't get the trickle-truthing OPs. If she had that experience, why is she vaguely asking if being a virgin is a "red flag" instead of describing this experience.

Because she was bad at the sex and blamed him and is looking for an rationalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

Or not interested in this woman who wanted to have a "discussion" about his erection at 11pm!