Is virginity a red flag at 40?

[Anonymous]

No. Not at all. Perfectly fine to be pure if from a conservative culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you went on a few dates with a guy and everything was perfect but you found out he was a 40 year old virgin - with no explanation of why other than "it just never happened" - would you be put off?

You are dating a 40 year old man so obviously you do not have a lot of choices either. You can be stupid and break it off. But then what? You will go prowling for another man again? You are breaking it off with a person because he has not fu*ked another chick? Ok, dumdum!

[Anonymous]

Green flag. Probably no std or kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.


Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

Yep. He's gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Ouch! Poor guy!

[Anonymous]

Try and cure him, OP!

[Anonymous]

Pity Fuccccc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM has never heard of asexuality?

Nope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you went on a few dates with a guy and everything was perfect but you found out he was a 40 year old virgin - with no explanation of why other than "it just never happened" - would you be put off?

If you are hoping for anything resembling a normal healthy sexual and emotional relationship, this is not just a red flag, it's an absolute deal breaker.

End it now.

Taking a wild guess, the guy is either a pedophile or was himself a victim of S/A so horrendous as a child that he completely freezes up when things get even close to possibly being sexual with a woman. Or maybe he is a deeply closeted gay. Or maybe it's some other kind of weird psychological problem which manifests in this way.

This is way more than just being a very shy person, and probably, something sinister and unpalatable is underlying his aversion to sex.

Hahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

I don't get the trickle-truthing OPs. If she had that experience, why is she vaguely asking if being a virgin is a "red flag" instead of describing this experience.

Because she was bad at the sex and blamed him and is looking for an rationalization.

Ah yes, the woman was "bad at the sex" during which the man...*checks notes* couldn't stay hard. Sounds like they didn't even have sex, boy genius.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

Or not interested in this woman who wanted to have a "discussion" about his erection at 11pm!

Yeah, because what he did is totally normal. Couldn't stay hard so he retreated to his office to work.

[Anonymous]

I am male and dated a 44 year old female virgin. She definitely did have some major issues but she was a very nice person and I enjoyed my time with her. We took things very slowly and ended up having some very nice sexual experiences. She was attractive and had a toned body but she had never removed all of her clothes with anyone before me. Her first O in her life was about two months into the relationship. We never had intercourse because she has vaginismus (can't relax vaginal canal) but, with a little time and guidance, she ended up being good in bed in other ways. She eventually became very passionate. I think we eventually might have figured out how to have intercourse, but we broke up. No regrets. I'm glad I got to know her.

[Anonymous]

Did you guys fuc yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a virgin until 24, just never asked any girls out until then because I had low self esteem and was very introverted. If a guy doesn’t do anything and is passive, he will easily be a virgin at an older than usual age because women don’t make the first move 99% of the time.

No. If you are a good looking guy women/girls are pretty aggressive.

Yeah, but 99% of guys aren’t good looking enough. You have to be very above average for this to happen.

It's not always a positive. I knew a (shy, sheltered, cute) guy who was repeatedly raped by women in college. Unsurprisingly he grew into a thirty-something angry man who treated women like garbage. It took therapy for him to realize that all those aggressive coeds mounting him while he was drunk in his dorm room were assaulting him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a vicious cycle. Past a certain age no one wants virgins. There's shame involved. Have sex with him and then decide what you think of him. I bet he's embellishing his past relationships to seem less lame. He probably went on dates and it never even was much of a relationship. There are actually a lot of adult virgins but no one wants to admit it. He may be asexual or just resigned to the fact no one wants a virgin.

Again. I TRIED to have sex with him. He was so terrible that he himself volunteered "I'm just a little out of practice," immediately followed by "I was lying, I'm a virgin." Then he went soft and couldn't get hard again and went to his home office to work for a couple of hours - this was at 11pm - rather than discuss the issue.

Op, you should have posted this originally. I don't think this man is interested in women.

I don't get the trickle-truthing OPs. If she had that experience, why is she vaguely asking if being a virgin is a "red flag" instead of describing this experience.

Because she was bad at the sex and blamed him and is looking for an rationalization.

Ah yes, the woman was "bad at the sex" during which the man...*checks notes* couldn't stay hard. Sounds like they didn't even have sex, boy genius.

Only illustrating further how bad at sex she is.