Feeling terrible for not bringing a gift to a no gifts party when others did

[Anonymous]

This is why we no longer do no-gifts parties. We did it once and it was a failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why we no longer do no-gifts parties. We did it once and it was a failure.

Same. Also, the no gift invites were for my convenience. As my kids got older they wondered why they didn’t get a gift from so and so, because they gave them X for their birthday.

(99.5% of the time I give gift cards so the birthday kid can pick what they want and it won’t clutter or be a duplicate to what they already have.)

[Anonymous]

My kids were really embarrassed going to a party that requested no gifts and we were the only ones who didn't bring one..... What made it worse is the venue had the birthday girl set up in front of the room and have the person who brought the gift stand next to her while she opened it. I was like WTF 😬😳 when I heard. My kids were mortified that they were the only ones who didn't get a chance to go stand up there with the birthday girl while she opened a gift..... Considering there were only 10 people, it was quite noticeable that my kids brought no gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids were really embarrassed going to a party that requested no gifts and we were the only ones who didn't bring one..... What made it worse is the venue had the birthday girl set up in front of the room and have the person who brought the gift stand next to her while she opened it. I was like WTF 😬😳 when I heard. My kids were mortified that they were the only ones who didn't get a chance to go stand up there with the birthday girl while she opened a gift..... Considering there were only 10 people, it was quite noticeable that my kids brought no gift.

That’s a horrible practice by that party venue and I’m sorry the parents didn’t step in to stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just do a card. No gifts means parents don’t want gifts. I think the people who bring them are rude.

The kids want the gifts. They attend friends parties where friends get gifts. They talk with friends about birthday gifts.

Just stop with your virtue signaling and allow young kids to experience the joy of childhood.

This. It’s sad to deprive kids of the joy of a birthday once a year.

Parents that want no gifts, how many have actually asked their child if they don’t want gifts for their birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

You live in a society where cultural norms exist, dummy! What's there not to understand?

Do you lack empathy and awareness in all other aspects of your life?

It's one thing to argue that these things are wasteful ( solid argument). It's another to be so foolish that you fail to see how other people might feel uncomfortable showing up without gifts.

The irony here is hilarious. You name call and then accuse me of lacking empathy and awareness? Never change, DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just do a card. No gifts means parents don’t want gifts. I think the people who bring them are rude.

The kids want the gifts. They attend friends parties where friends get gifts. They talk with friends about birthday gifts.

Just stop with your virtue signaling and allow young kids to experience the joy of childhood.

This. It’s sad to deprive kids of the joy of a birthday once a year.

Parents that want no gifts, how many have actually asked their child if they don’t want gifts for their birthday.

It's true. You need to raise your children to be not greedy and not materialistic 365 days a year, not just 1.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older. I always hated these "no gifts" invitations because it threw a giant question mark over the entire event. It says not to bring a gift, but some people will do it, anyway, and so maybe I'd better get one?

I remember showing up to one "no gift" birthday party when I had a kid in grade school and honored the invitation. We didn't bring a gift. We were the only ones who did not bring one. After that, I just brought a small gift.

Just let your birthday kid get gifts. They love opening the gifts. You can always donate them to a charity after.

The goal of a good host is to make things easy on your guests. "No gifts" makes everything harder. It is about the parents' virtue signaling instead of being about their kid.

Sorry if the truth hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are older. I always hated these "no gifts" invitations because it threw a giant question mark over the entire event. It says not to bring a gift, but some people will do it, anyway, and so maybe I'd better get one?

I remember showing up to one "no gift" birthday party when I had a kid in grade school and honored the invitation. We didn't bring a gift. We were the only ones who did not bring one. After that, I just brought a small gift.

Just let your birthday kid get gifts. They love opening the gifts. You can always donate them to a charity after.

The goal of a good host is to make things easy on your guests. "No gifts" makes everything harder. It is about the parents' virtue signaling instead of being about their kid.

Sorry if the truth hurts.

Agree. When my teen was a toddler we were invited to one of these parties. It was the first one like this. I dutifully followed the invite and brought no gift, thinking that was the right thing to do. Everyone else brought a gift, there was a pile of gifts, yet we came empty handed. So awkward. I have never made that mistake again.

[Anonymous]

No. You should be proud. When people say NO GIFTS it means no gifts. They say that for a REASON. Good that you followed directions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say "no gifts" . You bring a gift.

Larry is literally right about everything!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

You live in a society where cultural norms exist, dummy! What's there not to understand?

Do you lack empathy and awareness in all other aspects of your life?

It's one thing to argue that these things are wasteful ( solid argument). It's another to be so foolish that you fail to see how other people might feel uncomfortable showing up without gifts.

'

First of all, one of our cultural norms is respecting requests on invitations.

Second, if this discussion was "I come from X country where gifts are against our culture" you people would be falling all over yourselves chastising the person who didn't respect that person's request. If it says "no gift" I don't bring one. If others do, that's their thing. I don't feel bad. Why should I? They requested "no gifts' and I didn't bring one.