Feeling terrible for not bringing a gift to a no gifts party when others did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just do a card. No gifts means parents don’t want gifts. I think the people who bring them are rude.

I agree. My kids always take a card and sometimes my daughter will make a little beaded necklace/bracelet to slip in the card or we’ll put in a lollipop or something like that but no gifts please is pretty clear to me that you do not bring a gift! People who disregard this are rude and annoying (as someone who also does no gifts parties, it annoys me when people bring gifts anyway. I act nice about it but it bothers me)

[Anonymous]

Technically the gift bringers should feel bad, but since this is a kids party let’s all not feel bad. Release yourself. It’s all good.

[Anonymous]

I wish people would stop bringing gifts to NO GIFTS parties. Or, that people would stop requesting these.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing. When I get a no gift invitation I do what the invite says but I get so guilty about it! Just because the parents have decided they don’t like the mess of toys doesn’t mean their kid doesn’t deserve a nice gift for reaching a new milestone. I will never host a no gift party, gifts are one of the wonders of childhood, but I will always respect the no gift party hosts. I do have one question- if it’s a no gift party, does that include no gift cards? Is it ok to gift a child a gift card to a restaurant or store that I know their family frequents?

[Anonymous]

I bring a card (usually homemade by the kid) because it gives you something to hold/give and makes it feel more comfortable. But you did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. When I get a no gift invitation I do what the invite says but I get so guilty about it! Just because the parents have decided they don’t like the mess of toys doesn’t mean their kid doesn’t deserve a nice gift for reaching a new milestone. I will never host a no gift party, gifts are one of the wonders of childhood, but I will always respect the no gift party hosts. I do have one question- if it’s a no gift party, does that include no gift cards? Is it ok to gift a child a gift card to a restaurant or store that I know their family frequents?

A gift card is a gift. So please don’t. I have hosted no gift parties. For my kids, gifts are not a wonder of childhood. Maybe they are weird kids, but one is very stressed by stuff (he has autism and is a minimalist as a teen, after being a child who did not ever like opening gifts), and the other had an obscene amount of toys and barely played with them. For both, new stuff wasn’t fun—just stressful and wasteful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We usually take a card and maybe put some stickers, erasers, or a keychain in the envelope.

+1

[Anonymous]

I get the waste that gifts are but growing up didn't everyone like receiving gifts from friends? Maybe it's bc kids are spoiled nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar experience, and I bring gifts to a no gifts party. The parents will deal.

Let them donate it or throw it in the trash.

I just don't understand this sentiment -- in this case, you are giving a gift because it makes you feel superior. So your gift giving is not even about the birthday child, it's about you and your superiority complex. How is that good? It's selfish and wasteful. If I knew someone like you, I'd give this right back to your kid at their birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the waste that gifts are but growing up didn't everyone like receiving gifts from friends? Maybe it's bc kids are spoiled nowadays.

We have never done a no gift birthday but I wouldn't do one unless my child was old enough to understand and agree to it. That said, we only did whole class parties in preschool, and after that went with 3-4 good friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The invitation requested no gifts please and I did just that. DS showed up without an actual gift. Other guests arrived with gifts. Maybe 2 people that I noticed actually did not bring a gift.

In the future, if it says no gifts, do I need to bring a gift?

You did the correct thing. Those who brought gifts when requested not to bring gifts are the ones who should be embarrassed. They are the derriere openings!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We usually take a card and maybe put some stickers, erasers, or a keychain in the envelope.

Please don't. No gifts means exactly what it says. Stickers, key chains, are tossed in trash so stop wasting your money..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The invitation requested no gifts please and I did just that. DS showed up without an actual gift. Other guests arrived with gifts. Maybe 2 people that I noticed actually did not bring a gift.

In the future, if it says no gifts, do I need to bring a gift?

We were invited to a “no gift” party. And not only did people bring gifts, the parents had the kid open them during the party. Still annoys me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just do a card. No gifts means parents don’t want gifts. I think the people who bring them are rude.

+1. I believe in respecting other people's wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. When I get a no gift invitation I do what the invite says but I get so guilty about it! Just because the parents have decided they don’t like the mess of toys doesn’t mean their kid doesn’t deserve a nice gift for reaching a new milestone. I will never host a no gift party, gifts are one of the wonders of childhood, but I will always respect the no gift party hosts. I do have one question- if it’s a no gift party, does that include no gift cards? Is it ok to gift a child a gift card to a restaurant or store that I know their family frequents?

Its not your kid and it isn't your job to ensure that Larla is exposed to all the wonders of childhood.