Feeling terrible for not bringing a gift to a no gifts party when others did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

Controlling and overbearing parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

I’m sure the kid’s parents got her gifts she actually wanted, you aren’t saving the day with your bracelet making kit.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

I’m sure the kid’s parents got her gifts she actually wanted, you aren’t saving the day with your bracelet making kit.

+1000

It’s the thought that counts. Or did you never learn that one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

Wall-r? what are you talking about? If you cared about the environment you wouldn’t have had a kid so spare us. Happy birthday! Enjoy the gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

It took 9 pages for the sanctimonious, virtue signalers to get to the crux of it. They don’t want cheap gifts. Their kids preferences and enjoyment be damned. In fact they don’t want the friends at the party either, if they could hire a cast of sophisticated, artisanal, wooden, low VOC friends, they would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

It took 9 pages for the sanctimonious, virtue signalers to get to the crux of it. They don’t want cheap gifts. Their kids preferences and enjoyment be damned. In fact they don’t want the friends at the party either, if they could hire a cast of sophisticated, artisanal, wooden, low VOC friends, they would.

It’s a problem of American overconsumption and excess. So no, we don’t want any more cheap plastic junk from Target that will clutter up the house and then end up in a landfill, thanks. My kids have plenty of toys, they do not need more. Friends are always welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

It took 9 pages for the sanctimonious, virtue signalers to get to the crux of it. They don’t want cheap gifts. Their kids preferences and enjoyment be damned. In fact they don’t want the friends at the party either, if they could hire a cast of sophisticated, artisanal, wooden, low VOC friends, they would.

It’s a problem of American overconsumption and excess. So no, we don’t want any more cheap plastic junk from Target that will clutter up the house and then end up in a landfill, thanks. My kids have plenty of toys, they do not need more. Friends are always welcome.

You think birthday gifts are distinctly American? Get out much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

And, there it is. You don't care if you make the host feel awkward - because your kid is excited to pick out a gift and you can't bear to tell them no. Hint: another child's birthday party is not about you. Moreover, you need to stop projecting your own issues onto the birthday kid. Stop assuming they're somehow maltreated because their parents ask for a no gifts party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP. We didn’t say anything on the invite for our kids birthday parties last winter, and most guests brought them. But most of the parties our kids have been invited to recently specify “no gifts.” To the point where it would now feel weird/greedy if we did not do the same next time. And frankly we don’t need more random stuff and duplicate Frozen Lego sets from CVS. But trying to have this conversation with my kids will be tough because of course they love getting gifts.

[Anonymous]

PP again- IME most parents seem to heed the “no gifts” request, and prefer it. The only one where a bunch of guests still brought one anyway was when the invite had some clever poem about not wanting presents instead of flat out “no gifts.” DS felt bad when we did not bring a gift to that one and others did. So anything like that again and we’ll bring one just in case.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

It took 9 pages for the sanctimonious, virtue signalers to get to the crux of it. They don’t want cheap gifts. Their kids preferences and enjoyment be damned. In fact they don’t want the friends at the party either, if they could hire a cast of sophisticated, artisanal, wooden, low VOC friends, they would.

It’s a problem of American overconsumption and excess. So no, we don’t want any more cheap plastic junk from Target that will clutter up the house and then end up in a landfill, thanks. My kids have plenty of toys, they do not need more. Friends are always welcome.

NP who hasn't read the whole thread. I truly hate no gift parties - so joyless and always inevitably leads to awkwardness like that OP experienced.

We don't do no gift parties and I manage to have a home that is not filled with crap. My DDs really only get presents and "stuff" (aside from needs being met) twice a year - their birthdays and Christmas. It is a source of joy for them. They write a personal thank you note for each gift. Also a source of joy for my kids is picking out gifts for their friends on their birthdays. My 9 year old in particular puts such careful thought into gifts for her friends, and even classmates with whom she is less close, and gets so much pleasure in being a gift-giver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

It took 9 pages for the sanctimonious, virtue signalers to get to the crux of it. They don’t want cheap gifts. Their kids preferences and enjoyment be damned. In fact they don’t want the friends at the party either, if they could hire a cast of sophisticated, artisanal, wooden, low VOC friends, they would.

It’s a problem of American overconsumption and excess. So no, we don’t want any more cheap plastic junk from Target that will clutter up the house and then end up in a landfill, thanks. My kids have plenty of toys, they do not need more. Friends are always welcome.

NP who hasn't read the whole thread. I truly hate no gift parties - so joyless and always inevitably leads to awkwardness like that OP experienced.

We don't do no gift parties and I manage to have a home that is not filled with crap. My DDs really only get presents and "stuff" (aside from needs being met) twice a year - their birthdays and Christmas. It is a source of joy for them. They write a personal thank you note for each gift. Also a source of joy for my kids is picking out gifts for their friends on their birthdays. My 9 year old in particular puts such careful thought into gifts for her friends, and even classmates with whom she is less close, and gets so much pleasure in being a gift-giver.

Really? The occasional awkward situations I get, but even when gifts are brought the child never opens them at the party anyway, they are just put to the side for later. Whether the party is joyful depends upon the venue, activities, food, attendees, etc., not whether my child dropped off a gift at the table. Maybe you need to emphasize that part of birthday parties less if your kids find parties joyless without gifts....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked for no gifts and got tons and I GREATLY APPRECIATE the people who didn’t bring!!

+1

Usually the gifts brought to "no gift" parties are random crap because people feel like they can cheap out on the gift ("they said no gifts") while also fulfilling their perceived social obligation.

Next time, bring a card, OP, and be proud that you're able to follow instructions. Most of the gifts people have given when I've specified none go into the trash or are donated.

So you'd take expensive quality gifts then. You just don't like the cheap ones. 😕

No. When I said, "no gifts," I meant no gifts. Cost is irrelevant.

My point was that I think many of the people who insist on bringing gifts, after explicitly being asked not to, satisfy their lack of impulse control by unloading whatever crap they have lying around. So that's doubly annoying. I'm not donating crap, nor should I have to be the one to toss it. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just... not bring gifts.

DP. Because your kid told my kid exactly what kind of gifts he wants and he is so excited for his birthday. And my kid is very excited to go to the toy store and get the thing his classmate likes.

Do you people ever consult your children? It’s THEIR birthday.

Then be an adult and talk to the host: "I know you said no gifts, but Larlo is so excited to get Larla the boba tea kit she wants. Could we drop it off separately?"

This would be even more awkward, bring the gift and then say Larlo was so excited to give the thing. It's too late for the host to say no, and avoids the awkwardness.

Having direct communication is awkward? Why? Your approach - bringing the gift to the party - is awkward AF for the *host*. I would wonder why you couldn't have raised it with me beforehand. It must be really hard to struggle to communicate directly with people.

I don't really care if it's awkward for the host. I'm sure the birthday kid would like it. I'll even put it on the table myself with the other gifts that will surely be there.

The outlier gifts at our no-gifts party weren’t on a table making the parents who actually cared what we wanted feel awkward. They got hustled into a black trash bag that my kid still doesn’t know exists. Just for perspective.

I'll never understand parents like you who will not let their kid have gifts.

DP but you don’t need to understand. No gifts means no gifts. No means no. Aren’t we all about teaching our kids the concept of consent? Why is this so difficult for some of you?

The kid didn’t consent to no gifts! Who are you trying to fool?

Eh, the kid didn’t consent to a wall-r esque future with the world covered in landfills filled with all the cheap plastic bullshit gifts you insist on bringing, either. Be a grown up.

It took 9 pages for the sanctimonious, virtue signalers to get to the crux of it. They don’t want cheap gifts. Their kids preferences and enjoyment be damned. In fact they don’t want the friends at the party either, if they could hire a cast of sophisticated, artisanal, wooden, low VOC friends, they would.

It’s a problem of American overconsumption and excess. So no, we don’t want any more cheap plastic junk from Target that will clutter up the house and then end up in a landfill, thanks. My kids have plenty of toys, they do not need more. Friends are always welcome.

NP who hasn't read the whole thread. I truly hate no gift parties - so joyless and always inevitably leads to awkwardness like that OP experienced.

We don't do no gift parties and I manage to have a home that is not filled with crap. My DDs really only get presents and "stuff" (aside from needs being met) twice a year - their birthdays and Christmas. It is a source of joy for them. They write a personal thank you note for each gift. Also a source of joy for my kids is picking out gifts for their friends on their birthdays. My 9 year old in particular puts such careful thought into gifts for her friends, and even classmates with whom she is less close, and gets so much pleasure in being a gift-giver.

Really? The occasional awkward situations I get, but even when gifts are brought the child never opens them at the party anyway, they are just put to the side for later. Whether the party is joyful depends upon the venue, activities, food, attendees, etc., not whether my child dropped off a gift at the table. Maybe you need to emphasize that part of birthday parties less if your kids find parties joyless without gifts....

I wasn't clear at all. That's not what I meant -- yes, the party is a source of joy in itself, absolutely!! I just mean the whole "no gift" trend is so anti-fun and bah-humbug-ish. Gift giving and receiving on childrens' birthdays is joyful and fun, yet THAT'S something we are choosing to mess with these days?? It's just, ugh, ugh, ugh.