I hate Mom Cliques

[Anonymous]

Never too soon to learn that you will not be invited to everything. Also just because you weren’t invited doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you. It may mean that they chose a different dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of grown women being whiny about stuff like this. Grow up, OP!!! You're never going to be friends with everyone. Sorrynotsorry that this group of women has become close over the course of the year and wanted to have a small get together for themselves and their girls. Sorrynotsorry that they don't like you enough to include you. Get over it.

Are you 12? Sorry not sorry is 3 words.

Are you 85?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

This is why I don’t do Facebook 😀

[Anonymous]

If you're going to be this upset about Facebook posts, then you should not be on Facebook. Before Facebook, people got different groups of kids together all the time, and parents were none the wiser. Nobody knew they were left out, it wasn't a big deal. Get off social media and your life will be so much better.

*Also, as the mom of a 5th grader, know that these moms may stay friends but their kids won't, and that's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

That's a perfectly valid reason for them not to invite you. Stop calling groups of friends that you just happen to not belong to "cliques". It makes you sound immature and petty. Sometimes you're not part of a group and that's okay.

Also, what your daughter doesn't know won't hurt her. Please don't be THAT MOM and talk about your jealousy in front of your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you never posted your DD’s playdate or party pics on FB?

Are all of the playdates you host for all of the girls in the class? If not, why not? Surely there are other girls who feel excluded that these “4 or 5 girls” are getting together without them.

I am asking these pointed questions bc OP seems like the kind of person who is fine with cliques as long as she is on the inside, but decries them when she is not.

I’m not the OP, but no, I have not posted play dates and kids parties on FB. Like…why would you do that? What do I expect other people get out of that. “Oh look, kids I know but mine was invited.” Or “oh look, kids I don’t know.” Either way it’s cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

That's a perfectly valid reason for them not to invite you. Stop calling groups of friends that you just happen to not belong to "cliques". It makes you sound immature and petty. Sometimes you're not part of a group and that's okay.

Also, what your daughter doesn't know won't hurt her. Please don't be THAT MOM and talk about your jealousy in front of your child.

I think the OP was talking about the fact that her daughter WAS a part of that group. She did think her daughter “belonged.” That’s the whole pint of the post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

That's a perfectly valid reason for them not to invite you. Stop calling groups of friends that you just happen to not belong to "cliques". It makes you sound immature and petty. Sometimes you're not part of a group and that's okay.

Also, what your daughter doesn't know won't hurt her. Please don't be THAT MOM and talk about your jealousy in front of your child.

insufferable clique mom has entered the chat

[Anonymous]

I mean, I wouldn't purposefully exclude a single kid in either of my daughters' classes, but if I was getting together with only 4 or 5 girls for something, lots of people are going to be left out. And no, I'm not in a clique, and no, I wasn't a high school mean girl. I've never been bullied or popular, I've always been in the middle of pack, generally ignored but not disliked.

Stop fixating on what your kid wasn't invited to and just plan playdates with the kids your daughter wants to hang out with. Maybe some one-on-ones where you could get to know the other moms better would be a good idea. But allowing your panties to get in a twist over this is just going to be counterproductive.

I'm sure there are LOTS of things my kids aren't invited to, but why waste energy focusing on that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

So they have included your daughter before? Let this go then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

Look, I think social media is stupid, and anyone who gets upset over what they see on there needs to get off immediately, but people post things on FB for things other than likes and validation. You're just as bad as the people you're judging, BTW. It isn't a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

Oh, it crossed their minds. They knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

So don’t look at Facebook, if it affects you so much.

I'm not the OP. OP was upset by it and these threads occur all the time. If you're posting your intimate get togethers know that those you didn't invite may have feelings about it.

If someone is having in INTIMATE get together, I'd be ridiculous to be upset about not being invited to that! It's not like they invited every single girl in the class except OP's daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

So don’t look at Facebook, if it affects you so much.

I'm not the OP. OP was upset by it and these threads occur all the time. If you're posting your intimate get togethers know that those you didn't invite may have feelings about it.

I’m not the OP AND I’m not on Facebook but I agree. Posting pictures like this publicly or where anyone not in the group can see is incredibly low class. Akin to talking about an event in front of other people. It’s poor manners and mind blowing.

Are you people for real? I don't post on Facebook but you're telling me that it's not acceptable to post pictures of your kid doing things with their friends? Seriously? You people need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

This. If I’m friends with some moms why can’t I just plan on going out with them for lunch with our kids?
There might be other kids that our kids are friends with too OP, not just yours. Do we invite them all too? Then it turns into a cluster.

+1 this wasn’t a birthday party. I don’t think there was any ill intent.

+2. There will always be someone who feels left out. Not everything is a slight against you.

Which is why social media is toxic, and people who post this sort of thing on social media don’t care whose feelings they hurt. Why does it have to be posted?

Because some people have family members who love seeing pictures of their kids on Facebook? How sad to live life thinking people are only posting things to be braggarts or to hurt someone. That sounds exhausting.