I hate Mom Cliques

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

That's a perfectly valid reason for them not to invite you. Stop calling groups of friends that you just happen to not belong to "cliques". It makes you sound immature and petty. Sometimes you're not part of a group and that's okay.

Also, what your daughter doesn't know won't hurt her. Please don't be THAT MOM and talk about your jealousy in front of your child.

I think the OP was talking about the fact that her daughter WAS a part of that group. She did think her daughter “belonged.” That’s the whole pint of the post!

This is a group of 4-5 kindergartners. They don’t “belong” to each other. They are allowed to go over each others houses in any combination that suits them without being labeled as mean. No one wants to host 5+ kindergarteners every time they plan something

[Anonymous]

OP, you are totally correct.

[Anonymous]

Op, just go ahead and invite over whoever you want for you kid to play with. Don’t worry about this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

This. If I’m friends with some moms why can’t I just plan on going out with them for lunch with our kids?
There might be other kids that our kids are friends with too OP, not just yours. Do we invite them all too? Then it turns into a cluster.

+1 this wasn’t a birthday party. I don’t think there was any ill intent.

+2. There will always be someone who feels left out. Not everything is a slight against you.

Which is why social media is toxic, and people who post this sort of thing on social media don’t care whose feelings they hurt. Why does it have to be posted?

Because some people have family members who love seeing pictures of their kids on Facebook? How sad to live life thinking people are only posting things to be braggarts or to hurt someone. That sounds exhausting.

Your family cares about your kids‘ random play date friends? Sure they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

That's a perfectly valid reason for them not to invite you. Stop calling groups of friends that you just happen to not belong to "cliques". It makes you sound immature and petty. Sometimes you're not part of a group and that's okay.

Also, what your daughter doesn't know won't hurt her. Please don't be THAT MOM and talk about your jealousy in front of your child.

I think the OP was talking about the fact that her daughter WAS a part of that group. She did think her daughter “belonged.” That’s the whole pint of the post!

This is a group of 4-5 kindergartners. They don’t “belong” to each other. They are allowed to go over each others houses in any combination that suits them without being labeled as mean. No one wants to host 5+ kindergarteners every time they plan something

Totally. My K-er had different friends depending on the day of the week. I think OP had the idea she was in a mom clique—but either there was no mom clique or she wasn’t in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

That's a perfectly valid reason for them not to invite you. Stop calling groups of friends that you just happen to not belong to "cliques". It makes you sound immature and petty. Sometimes you're not part of a group and that's okay.

Also, what your daughter doesn't know won't hurt her. Please don't be THAT MOM and talk about your jealousy in front of your child.

insufferable clique mom has entered the chat

Nope, not at all. Just a smart, realistic mom who has enough self confidence that I don't get jealous about 5yo's social lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her last day of K and I just found out ( bc one of DD’s friend moms posted pics on Facebook) that the moms of the group of 4 or 5 girls that DD became good friends with from her class arranged an after school get together with all the girls except for my daughter. And there’s no other reason I can find for this other than the fact that I’m not part of the Mom clique. I’ve arranged lots of play dates with these girls over the year and DD has been invited over to most of their houses as well, so I don’t think it’s a matter of them unintentionally excluding her.

It just makes me so mad and I can’t wait until DD is old enough to where the Moms aren’t so influential and involved in the social lives of their kids. Thank god DD is still clueless to these kinds of things, but I know that won’t last forever too. It just makes me feel terrible because she has been talking about having these girls over for a group playdate this summer and she’s clueless to the fact that she’s getting left out by the Moms.

That's a perfectly valid reason for them not to invite you. Stop calling groups of friends that you just happen to not belong to "cliques". It makes you sound immature and petty. Sometimes you're not part of a group and that's okay.

Also, what your daughter doesn't know won't hurt her. Please don't be THAT MOM and talk about your jealousy in front of your child.

I think the OP was talking about the fact that her daughter WAS a part of that group. She did think her daughter “belonged.” That’s the whole pint of the post!

This is a group of 4-5 kindergartners. They don’t “belong” to each other. They are allowed to go over each others houses in any combination that suits them without being labeled as mean. No one wants to host 5+ kindergarteners every time they plan something

Totally. My K-er had different friends depending on the day of the week. I think OP had the idea she was in a mom clique—but either there was no mom clique or she wasn’t in it.

This thread is 100% about OP being jealous because she thought she was better friends with the moms than she actually is. Do you know what it has NOTHING to do with? OP's kindergartener who couldn't care less about the situation because she doesn't know about it and probably won't find out and even if she did, would care for 30 seconds before she got distracted by a pretty butterfly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

Look, I think social media is stupid, and anyone who gets upset over what they see on there needs to get off immediately, but people post things on FB for things other than likes and validation. You're just as bad as the people you're judging, BTW. It isn't a good look.

Why does someone post pics of a kindergarten play date on social media. Enlighten us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

Look, I think social media is stupid, and anyone who gets upset over what they see on there needs to get off immediately, but people post things on FB for things other than likes and validation. You're just as bad as the people you're judging, BTW. It isn't a good look.

Why does someone post pics of a kindergarten play date on social media. Enlighten us

No idea. Why does anyone post any personal pictures of anything on social media? Because I imagine it the same answer to your question. I don't get bothered by anyone posting personal photos and give zero thoughts to what others are doing in their photos and whom they are with. Why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

Look, I think social media is stupid, and anyone who gets upset over what they see on there needs to get off immediately, but people post things on FB for things other than likes and validation. You're just as bad as the people you're judging, BTW. It isn't a good look.

Why does someone post pics of a kindergarten play date on social media. Enlighten us

No idea. Why does anyone post any personal pictures of anything on social media? Because I imagine it the same answer to your question. I don't get bothered by anyone posting personal photos and give zero thoughts to what others are doing in their photos and whom they are with. Why do you care?

Why do you care if other people don't like it? Why do you care enough to respond to any of this?

[Anonymous]

I don’t see anything wrong with them getting together. Not everyone has to be included in everything. It is, however, incredibly rude and tacky to post friend events online. Share with the people there and be happy. Why do random people need to know you had a social gathering? So so bizarre.

I will add, I have had friends post pics of me (ok whatever) or my kids (I do not want other people posting pics of my kids to be seen by people I don’t know at all). Parents, stop doing that if you don’t get permission to post pics of other children! I didn’t want my kid to be in your public FB pics just because she attended Suzy’s 6th birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably was unintentional. The 5 moms are good friends and just decided to have this get-together.

So don't post it all over Facebook. Again, that's what's causing the bad feelings. Otherwise nobody would know. But, no, mean moms needed the likes and validation that they aren't friendless losers. Look at us!

Look, I think social media is stupid, and anyone who gets upset over what they see on there needs to get off immediately, but people post things on FB for things other than likes and validation. You're just as bad as the people you're judging, BTW. It isn't a good look.

Why does someone post pics of a kindergarten play date on social media. Enlighten us

No idea. Why does anyone post any personal pictures of anything on social media? Because I imagine it the same answer to your question. I don't get bothered by anyone posting personal photos and give zero thoughts to what others are doing in their photos and whom they are with. Why do you care?

defensive PPs are the ones who post too much info that should be private -- for their own physical security. not a good look.



Why do you care if other people don't like it? Why do you care enough to respond to any of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it.

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned.

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso.