I hate Mom Cliques
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Anonymous
| The social media thing aside (I agree it's toxic, even if no ill will is meant), I would assume the best in people. People tend to invite people they know well and don't always think everything through. I would try to make more mom friends when there are natural opportunities (e.g., volunteer when you're able, stick around and chat at the birthday parties, host things). Especially when the kids are little, it's the parents who make the plans. |
Anonymous
Great advice here! I never ever post anything like this in social media and will do what I can to keep my kids from doing so as they get older, because it’s sort of needlessly annoying. But at the end of the day, a group of 5 kindergartners sounds like a lot already! Maybe I’m very cliquish because I never host more than 2-3 kids at a time, unless it’s a birthday party. Also, there will be drama at some point. Really really encourage her to make friends outside this group (while still playing and having fun with these girls too). As the mom of an older girl I have been SO thankful my kid has multiple social groups…. |
Anonymous
Sine we’re making wild assumptions you sound like someone who really likes sm a lot and probably posts often. See how wildly inaccurate i can be too? |
Anonymous
Agree. You are being way too invested in this. They aren’t obligated to include you and your DD bc they have played together before. They are friends and planned something together. Big deal. Don’t take it Personally |
Anonymous
| Op, these group boundaries are not as rigid as you think. Instead of wishing you had been part of the group, for your own friendships, how about you think harder about which of the women you would most like to get to know better. Actually seek genuine relationships. That start with enjoying the company of one of them. |
Anonymous
Yeah I wondered about this too. If the OP had been included would she still consider it a clique? Some of the girls may have friendships that are not part of this group and were not included as well. Maybe the person that your daughter was least close to was the host. I highly doubt that they say around and said let's make sure we exclude OP. |
Anonymous
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I have a group of 5 girlfriends. We have other mutual friends. I don’t post pics because I’m pretty sure some people will feel bad.
I have a friend who is not even a super close friend and when she posts pics of outings with our mutual friends, I still feel slightly bad that I was not invited. I know they are closer. Their husbands are best friends. Other friend was childhood best friends. We are only friends from five years ago. You and your daughter need to get over this. |
Anonymous
I’m in NYC and moms have been doing this for years in my child’s class. I hear it gets better in middle school, when the moms stop trying to live through their children. SAH moms, working moms, moms in their 30s, moms in their 50s - they’re all knee-deep in the crazy. |
Anonymous
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I wonder what others would think about doing something like posting “looks like fun!” Or even “looks like fun! We’d love to join next time!” Yes, a little thirsty but if it was just an honest oversight maybe that would solve it.
I’m on a thread with about 8 other moms that was started by a different mom about a year ago — people often float outing ideas or camps or whatever on that thread. It’s not meant to be exclusionary — I think it was started by someone who just picked the girls her kid was closest to in order to ask about swapping childcare on school half days or something. But it’s now just become a mindless way to say “hey we’re going to the pool at 2 if anyone wants to join” or whatever. Sometimes these things just develop out of inertia. |
Anonymous
No wonder the mom cliques exclude you. 
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Anonymous
What “crap” and “knee deep in crazy” are you talking about. A few moms that are friends and their kids went out together. It’s allowed. Clearly they socialize with others as do their children- as OP says. There is no social rule that dictates you must extend an invitation to anyone you’ve ever socialized with when getting together with common friends. It’s ok to not be included in everything every time. |
Anonymous
This OP. And no I have never posted pics of my kids play dates or birthday parties and never will. And there are ten girls in DDs class and two distinct friend groups that have naturally evolved. My daughter is in one. I would host a group play date and of course would never post pictures to social media especially knowing of someone on the outside saw it could hurt feelings. But just on principle I don’t post pics of other peoples children on social Media. |
Anonymous
Their kids continue the behavior. This doesn't just happen to girls. I moved to a new city and my neighborhood was filled with moms who live to exclude children. The adults were always bullying someone in the neihborhood by excluding them. It is one of the worst forms of insecurity to get your power from hurting a child. |
Anonymous
Keep being delusional. Too many of us and our children have experienced this. Don't try to bright-side us. |
Anonymous
It’s not that these moms shouldn’t get together in small groups, it’s the fact that they then feel it necessary to show off on facebook. Why does it need to be flaunted on social media? If not to show off? Just share the pics with the moms who are there over text. That’s the part that feels really insensitive and like mean girls activity. |