Stay in a blah marriage for the kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage isn’t going to be exciting after many years. That’s kind of the point. It’s for stability, finances, family etc. Get some hobbies and make some plans. Getting divorced over this is crazy.

PP here I agree with you generally but for me personally, those “benefits” were not in marriage…I felt less stable, financially vulnerable and the family thing was not there. In laws were a problem and we did not do family things together/ actually, it was instability, finances and family that drove us to divorce (not to mention emotional abuse). I wish people would stop assuming all marriages are the same and offer these “benefits”—it was the opposite.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound kind of high maintenance. Make some friends - not ones you’re attracted to, but like mom friends - with whom you can have a 1x a week girls’ night and talk about your day. And I agree on individual therapy. Start ignoring your DH a bit and see if he comes back. I bet he does.

[Anonymous]

Let me guess, there's a hot guy you're interested in. You probably think he's in love with you. He isn't. He will use you and throw you away the moment you are available for anything but clandestine sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce if you wish, but do be aware that you might not marry or find a long-time relationship again. A single mom of a 7 year old isn’t exactly a hot commodity in the dating market.

Untrue

It is true. Practically it is very difficult with logistics and there are conflicting loyalties if you are a good mother. Men want to come first. Dating takes time. Even if you find someone the likelihood is they have no commitment to your child. There are a lot of issues you might not foresee.

You are clearly not divorced. There are not conflicting loyalties. Kids are first. Divorced people understand this. No issues dating as a single mom.

That is not a reason to leave but stop spewing nonsense. You don’t know what you are talking about.

Well guess what I the PP and I AM divorced. What I said has been true for me. It’s pretty obvious why you’re divorced if this is how you react to someone sharing their experience.

If you have a problem, finding dates as a single mom, then you’re probably not very attractive because literally there are no issues.

Uh single mom is OK, single mom who is *twice* divorced is a huge red flag in the dating pool. Any twice divorced person is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce if you wish, but do be aware that you might not marry or find a long-time relationship again. A single mom of a 7 year old isn’t exactly a hot commodity in the dating market.

Untrue

It is true. Practically it is very difficult with logistics and there are conflicting loyalties if you are a good mother. Men want to come first. Dating takes time. Even if you find someone the likelihood is they have no commitment to your child. There are a lot of issues you might not foresee.

You are clearly not divorced. There are not conflicting loyalties. Kids are first. Divorced people understand this. No issues dating as a single mom.

That is not a reason to leave but stop spewing nonsense. You don’t know what you are talking about.

Well guess what I the PP and I AM divorced. What I said has been true for me. It’s pretty obvious why you’re divorced if this is how you react to someone sharing their experience.

If you have a problem, finding dates as a single mom, then you’re probably not very attractive because literally there are no issues.

There are no issues if your bar is low and you date losers. I won’t. So, despite being attractive it is not easy.

[Anonymous]

However, divorce men will have more options if they appear to be open to a "relationship." Divorced women will always have more NSA options; however, their options for relationships will diminish more every year as they move from the barstool at J Gilbert's to the barstool at Sunrise Senior Living.

It’s true women have it easier than men for no strings. Most men won’t get a lot of sex in an open marriage: my exH knew this.

Many divorced women are not interested in serious relationships or remarriage so who cares about that comment

You missed the point because you did not understand the post.

Divorced men will have more options if they appear open to a relationship. Here is why.

Many divorced women may not be interested in serious relationships or remarriage. However, they will seldom date a single man who advertises he is open only to casual sex or a married man looking for an affair. This is most true on OLD.

Therefore, a divorced man who states that he is "open" to having a relationship is more likely to find divorced women who, after meeting him, are open" to an FWB or NSA relationship. You were the one who offered up your opinion on divorced women's interest in "serious relationships or remarriage." Neither serious relationships nor remarriage was mentioned in my original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, there's a hot guy you're interested in. You probably think he's in love with you. He isn't. He will use you and throw you away the moment you are available for anything but clandestine sex.

+1,000,000

He’ll bang you, sure. He’ll tell you things you want to hear. But he’ll easily discard you when he’s sick of you or you start putting on pressure for more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered asking for an open marriage?

Just asking for a longer and bumpier divorce a lot of the time.

Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce if you wish, but do be aware that you might not marry or find a long-time relationship again. A single mom of a 7 year old isn’t exactly a hot commodity in the dating market.

Untrue

It is true. Practically it is very difficult with logistics and there are conflicting loyalties if you are a good mother. Men want to come first. Dating takes time. Even if you find someone the likelihood is they have no commitment to your child. There are a lot of issues you might not foresee.

You are clearly not divorced. There are not conflicting loyalties. Kids are first. Divorced people understand this. No issues dating as a single mom.

That is not a reason to leave but stop spewing nonsense. You don’t know what you are talking about.

Well guess what I the PP and I AM divorced. What I said has been true for me. It’s pretty obvious why you’re divorced if this is how you react to someone sharing their experience.

If you have a problem, finding dates as a single mom, then you’re probably not very attractive because literally there are no issues.

Uh single mom is OK, single mom who is *twice* divorced is a huge red flag in the dating pool. Any twice divorced person is.

Who said anything about being divorced twice? No one is divorced twice. Comment not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce if you wish, but do be aware that you might not marry or find a long-time relationship again. A single mom of a 7 year old isn’t exactly a hot commodity in the dating market.

Untrue

It is true. Practically it is very difficult with logistics and there are conflicting loyalties if you are a good mother. Men want to come first. Dating takes time. Even if you find someone the likelihood is they have no commitment to your child. There are a lot of issues you might not foresee.

You are clearly not divorced. There are not conflicting loyalties. Kids are first. Divorced people understand this. No issues dating as a single mom.

That is not a reason to leave but stop spewing nonsense. You don’t know what you are talking about.

Well guess what I the PP and I AM divorced. What I said has been true for me. It’s pretty obvious why you’re divorced if this is how you react to someone sharing their experience.

If you have a problem, finding dates as a single mom, then you’re probably not very attractive because literally there are no issues.

There are no issues if your bar is low and you date losers. I won’t. So, despite being attractive it is not easy.

I have dated a neurosurgeon, an engineer, a lawyer/CEO, and someone with family money…as a single mid 40s mom. I don’t date losers. I won’t remarry. My bar is not low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

However, divorce men will have more options if they appear to be open to a "relationship." Divorced women will always have more NSA options; however, their options for relationships will diminish more every year as they move from the barstool at J Gilbert's to the barstool at Sunrise Senior Living.

It’s true women have it easier than men for no strings. Most men won’t get a lot of sex in an open marriage: my exH knew this.

Many divorced women are not interested in serious relationships or remarriage so who cares about that comment

You missed the point because you did not understand the post.

Divorced men will have more options if they appear open to a relationship. Here is why.

Many divorced women may not be interested in serious relationships or remarriage. However, they will seldom date a single man who advertises he is open only to casual sex or a married man looking for an affair. This is most true on OLD.

Therefore, a divorced man who states that he is "open" to having a relationship is more likely to find divorced women who, after meeting him, are open" to an FWB or NSA relationship. You were the one who offered up your opinion on divorced women's interest in "serious relationships or remarriage." Neither serious relationships nor remarriage was mentioned in my original post.

Wrong. I know divorced men, including me ex. They all have more issues dating than divorced women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage counseling if he will.

Otherwise, yes, stay. Until her second year of college.

You’re wrong. It’s actually better to divorce sooner rather than later, if you know you’re going to do it. When you wait to divorce until your kid is 18+, they feel like their childhood was a lie & that the rug is being pulled out from under them. Rip off the band aid

+1, by the time she’s in MS or HS she’ll know that her parents are in a loveless marriage. She’ll pity you and see that you chose to be bitter and unhappy. If you do stay for her, never tell her, she feel quilt, shame, and anger.

[Anonymous]

Wrong. I know divorced men, including me [sic] ex. They all have more issues dating than divorced women.

Everyone on this board knows divorced men and divorced women. Your posts do not make sense. For example, "They all have more issues dating than divorced women" is an ignorant thing to write since it cannot apply to every divorced man and every divorced woman.

Promiscuous women have fewer issues finding men to bang than non-promiscuous women. However, the men banging them usually do not see that they provide anything other than easy access to NSA sex.

You will respond by posting that women do not carry what men think, which is good since most men and women judge promiscuous women as providing little besides sex. Actually, you should look for a man who could help you with your writing ability since you write so poorly.

Unless you are a pirate.

Then, by all means, write more about "me ex." In fact, please write more in keeping with your pirate theme (e.g., write more about finding "booty" after a long night of drinking grog.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wrong. I know divorced men, including me [sic] ex. They all have more issues dating than divorced women.

Everyone on this board knows divorced men and divorced women. Your posts do not make sense. For example, "They all have more issues dating than divorced women" is an ignorant thing to write since it cannot apply to every divorced man and every divorced woman.

Promiscuous women have fewer issues finding men to bang than non-promiscuous women. However, the men banging them usually do not see that they provide anything other than easy access to NSA sex.

You will respond by posting that women do not carry what men think, which is good since most men and women judge promiscuous women as providing little besides sex. Actually, you should look for a man who could help you with your writing ability since you write so poorly.

Unless you are a pirate.

Then, by all means, write more about "me ex." In fact, please write more in keeping with your pirate theme (e.g., write more about finding "booty" after a long night of drinking grog.)

I was typing on my phone. This is not being published. Writing is my profession; I have also taught college English. No writer, editor or publisher cares about writing that is not being published.

I don’t drink or do booty calls. You are presumptuous.

Divorced men have a harder time finding both sex and relationships than divorced women.

Online dating has changed it all. There are multiple studies about men having greater difficulty with access to sex than in previous generations. Anecdotal information from people I know confirm this. I have no problem getting dates or getting into a long-term relationship if I wanted to do that—I don’t. Divorced men have a harder time than women now for both. It is not 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

I was typing on my phone. This is not being published. Writing is my profession; I have also taught college English. No writer, editor or publisher cares about writing that is not being published.

I don’t drink or do booty calls. You are presumptuous.

Divorced men have a harder time finding both sex and relationships than divorced women.

Online dating has changed it all. There are multiple studies about men having greater difficulty with access to sex than in previous generations. Anecdotal information from people I know confirm this. I have no problem getting dates or getting into a long-term relationship if I wanted to do that—I don’t. Divorced men have a harder time than women now for both. It is not 20 years ago.

Writing cannot be your profession. You are horrible at it. You are more likely a pirate.

I am an attorney and write as part of my job. Every time you write something, your reader draws an impression of you from what you have written. When you do sloppy work, you appear sloppy. If you cannot proofread your work, you should not write.

Please cite these "multiple studies" about men having greater difficulty "with access to sex than in previous generations." Your "anecdotal information" is useless, a fact you would know if you were an English instructor.

Finally, if you use the word "have" in the present tense (look it up), then you should use the word "want" in the same tense. I have put this in bold for you.