How to talk to 14yo about waiting to have sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.

Ok let us know how that works out for all of you. I plan to have a more realistic approach with my teen.

What a terrible excuse of a parent you are.

No darling. Sticking your head in the sand and pretending that teenagers don’t have sex is irresponsible and reckless. Do better.

No honey. Giving sound advice and guidance to abstain is what a parent is supposed to do. Try being a parent rather than being a friend.

Oh brother. Take it to your Sunday school, Susan. You’re full of shit.

Oh sister, I don’t practice any religion. Take it to your AA class. You’re full of a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.

Ok let us know how that works out for all of you. I plan to have a more realistic approach with my teen.

What a terrible excuse of a parent you are.

No darling. Sticking your head in the sand and pretending that teenagers don’t have sex is irresponsible and reckless. Do better.

We know teens have sex. With parents like you, of course they do.

Teens have been having sex for as long as humans have existed. Go ahead and fight biology. Proper protection and education is what they need. Not morons for parents.

Then why did you become a parent since you are a moron?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.

Ok let us know how that works out for all of you. I plan to have a more realistic approach with my teen.

“More realistic approach” = sex at a young age. 😞

I would do anything to help my daughter avoid this.

No it doesn’t. It means proper sex education and telling them what to actually expect instead of some pie in the sky “just don’t have sex” BS.

My parents educated me and also told me not to. I respected them and listened. You are a lazy parent.

I love how you all assumed that I would tell him to go ahead and have sex. Not preaching absitance does not mean telling them to have sex FFS. You all just aren’t very bright.

You indeed implied that abstinence is not the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.

Ok let us know how that works out for all of you. I plan to have a more realistic approach with my teen.

What a terrible excuse of a parent you are.

No darling. Sticking your head in the sand and pretending that teenagers don’t have sex is irresponsible and reckless. Do better.

We know teens have sex. With parents like you, of course they do.

Teens have been having sex for as long as humans have existed. Go ahead and fight biology. Proper protection and education is what they need. Not morons for parents.

And plenty of teens don’t have sex for as long as humans have existed, moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plan to tell my DD that young sex is mostly what poor girls do, or girls without fathers, and she is too classy for that and needs to conduct herself in a way that she will not be embarrassed for herself later on or look like trash to potential husbands. It's very low class. That's what I will include in my speech.

And then she'll go to school and see that her well off classmates with loving fathers are having sex with their boyfriends or participating in random hook ups. Then she and her friends will have a laugh when she shares what you told her.

The only 14 year I met having sex went to one of the worst high schools in MoCo. Oh please lady, gimme a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.

Ok let us know how that works out for all of you. I plan to have a more realistic approach with my teen.

Don’t be surprised if they end up pregnant

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.

Ok let us know how that works out for all of you. I plan to have a more realistic approach with my teen.

What a terrible excuse of a parent you are.

No darling. Sticking your head in the sand and pretending that teenagers don’t have sex is irresponsible and reckless. Do better.

We know teens have sex. With parents like you, of course they do.

Teens have been having sex for as long as humans have existed. Go ahead and fight biology. Proper protection and education is what they need. Not morons for parents.

Sorry, but 14/15 is way too young! There is a big difference between that 14 and 16/17/18. I have a 9th grader. I am surrounded by her friends all the time. They are hopeful, enthusiastic, but at times insecure and worry so much. I can’t imagine throwing sex into that and for what?? Only to be humiliated later? Nothing good comes from it.

[Anonymous]

Okay! OP here. Mostly helpful comments. DD is an athlete, 9th grade. 2 JV and 1 Varsity sport which she also plays travel - serious enough to be looking at playing in college. BF also serious athlete,10th, hoping to play in college - it’s actually what makes them connect and yes they are both busy. They do not have time alone in a house together. However, there is some free time after school before sports and after and they have been to one dance and are going to another. Things could happen. A bf at this age is not what I would plan but better than some girls who are having random hook ups. Btw, my DS who is a senior JUST starting dating and isn’t serious with anyone. Kids are different. DD chose a nice person and I don’t think saying you can’t see him is realistic. I think she made a good choice I just want it to go slowly.

[Anonymous]

Every female between the ages of 13 and 22 should be on LARC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay! OP here. Mostly helpful comments. DD is an athlete, 9th grade. 2 JV and 1 Varsity sport which she also plays travel - serious enough to be looking at playing in college. BF also serious athlete,10th, hoping to play in college - it’s actually what makes them connect and yes they are both busy. They do not have time alone in a house together. However, there is some free time after school before sports and after and they have been to one dance and are going to another. Things could happen. A bf at this age is not what I would plan but better than some girls who are having random hook ups. Btw, my DS who is a senior JUST starting dating and isn’t serious with anyone. Kids are different. DD chose a nice person and I don’t think saying you can’t see him is realistic. I think she made a good choice I just want it to go slowly.

That sounds fairly amazing, OP. Please just tell her that. It sounds like they are good kids making good choices. Choose to support that pattern by communicating respectfully, listening reflectively, and providing guidance as appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.

Ok let us know how that works out for all of you. I plan to have a more realistic approach with my teen.

“More realistic approach” = sex at a young age. 😞

I would do anything to help my daughter avoid this.

No it doesn’t. It means proper sex education and telling them what to actually expect instead of some pie in the sky “just don’t have sex” BS.

My parents educated me and also told me not to. I respected them and listened. You are a lazy parent.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why 14 year olds shouldn’t have boyfriends or girlfriends. Just say no, Mom. No dating until 16 or even 18.

It’s cute that you think that would actually prevent them from dating. At least this way she is keeping the communication channels open.

You actually can. You state the rules. You don’t allow your daughter to go to with a date to a dance. That simple.

[Anonymous]

“You aren’t allowed to date unit the age of…..” (insert your family’s rule).

If child is 14 and asks to go on a date with someone of the opposite sex, the answer is “no.” That means no dances at school or opportunities outside of school to “date.” When you are 16 we can revisit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay! OP here. Mostly helpful comments. DD is an athlete, 9th grade. 2 JV and 1 Varsity sport which she also plays travel - serious enough to be looking at playing in college. BF also serious athlete,10th, hoping to play in college - it’s actually what makes them connect and yes they are both busy. They do not have time alone in a house together. However, there is some free time after school before sports and after and they have been to one dance and are going to another. Things could happen. A bf at this age is not what I would plan but better than some girls who are having random hook ups. Btw, my DS who is a senior JUST starting dating and isn’t serious with anyone. Kids are different. DD chose a nice person and I don’t think saying you can’t see him is realistic. I think she made a good choice I just want it to go slowly.

You shouldn’t prohibit her from dating, but when you talk to her about sex take it very seriously and urge her not to do it, despite how much she may want to. There are so many legit reasons not to -
1) he may break up with her afterwards (this is common!)
2) other kids will find out and spread rumors (sad this happens, but it does)
3) she will have new unsettling feelings and they may make her feel bad
4) girls think about sex differently than boys. Our feelings get hurt, and boys move on quickly
5) obviously the stress of possibly getting pregnant
I could go on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay! OP here. Mostly helpful comments. DD is an athlete, 9th grade. 2 JV and 1 Varsity sport which she also plays travel - serious enough to be looking at playing in college. BF also serious athlete,10th, hoping to play in college - it’s actually what makes them connect and yes they are both busy. They do not have time alone in a house together. However, there is some free time after school before sports and after and they have been to one dance and are going to another. Things could happen. A bf at this age is not what I would plan but better than some girls who are having random hook ups. Btw, my DS who is a senior JUST starting dating and isn’t serious with anyone. Kids are different. DD chose a nice person and I don’t think saying you can’t see him is realistic. I think she made a good choice I just want it to go slowly.

That sounds fairly amazing, OP. Please just tell her that. It sounds like they are good kids making good choices. Choose to support that pattern by communicating respectfully, listening reflectively, and providing guidance as appropriate.

Such a vague useless statement