Wife stopped at associates degree and now working at Wawa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised that she did this. Her main job is stay at home mom. She recently finished an AA degree and graduated with honors. She had a full scholarship and a high chance of getting several to pursue a bachelor's degree. Anyway, she's set on working for Wawa three shifts a week in the evening to be with the kids during the day. They offer 401k and stocks after working there for a year. It's very close to our house. I'm not sure what happened. She wanted to study education. She said she's over getting a college degree because she only plans on working part-time, and right now, she wants to focus her time on the kids aged 3 and 6. I am supportive of her not working. She knows this. I feel she has a better shot at getting a full scholarship now since she finished in December. She's not working on applying right now and says college is pointless because she wouldn't be able to study anything marketable, given her issues with math. She isn't the greatest with math, and I say this as someone with a Ph.D in math. However, she spent much time looking at majors where that's not an issue. Two of the degrees she could do without any more math than the two courses she took off her AA degree are criminal justice and communication. Any tips on ways to motivate her to continue, or should I drop it? I think she will regret it, and paying for college in the future will be hard. Before we had children, she worked at a bank headquarters for ten years. The job paid decently and had great benefits. She left the job because I finished college and got my first job in another state. She resented me for a long, long time because not only did age lose her job, but we moved from her family. Unfortunately, she hasn't been able to find a similar job with the pay she was getting, and the locations are all very far. Most of her family didn't attend more than two years of college and they work at the bank she previously was employed. I'm not sure what to do.

Paragraphs Matter.

[Anonymous]

She seems like the perfect person for a straight up admin job. Not the old fashioned typing pool but an executive assistant. It’s hardworking, solid, organized, nurturers that make the best admins because they care about their person/team and pull hard to make the work environment run well. Solid money, stable job - would be ideal for a transitioning SAHM when the kids start school.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound like a controlling drill sergeant. She watched your 2 small children all day long and works nights and, on top of that, just finished 2 years of college. Give the lady a break!! Like I said before, in 2-3 years, when both kids are in elementary school, her days will be wide open to dive into college if she wants to. But knowing you, you will pile it on and expect her to work full time + college. Stop. You're nuts

[Anonymous]

She got a full scholarship as a transfer student without apply to a specific college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s telling you it’s because of math because she doesn’t want to tell you she’s freaking tired and slightly resentful (slightly now, later it will be greatly) because she’s given up a lot to be married to you.

Op here. This isn't accurate. Math is a big reason. She has a documented disability. A psychologist recommended math should be waived or substituted, and some colleges were able to offer that to her. She had a complete psych evaluation done and it says on the document if she doesn't get math waived or substituted, it is very likely she won't be able to finish. We moved around because I was pursuing higher education so that I could take care of things. There's no need to be harsh.

What kind of condition makes her not be able to do any kind of math but everything else? Admittedly, I'm no expert on LD, but I've never heard of such a thing.

And I have to say.. it's ironic that a math professor married someone and procreated with someone who has an LD that makes her not be able to do math. Did you know this before you married her?

Is this a real post?

[Anonymous]

OP is right. He makes $160k. I understand why he is frustrated that she’s not willing to get an education that will improve her chances of finding a better paying job. Most successful families have two working parents that are pulling their weight. OP’s wife needs to step up her game. I understand she stayed home to take care of the kids. But pretty soon the kids will be full-time in school. What is she gonna do? If OP was making $300k, she could stay home or work a job that doesn’t bring much.
If they live in this area, $160k for a family of 4 is not much. It’ll be very hard to save enough for retirement and kids college.
I understand why OP wants her to be more ambitious.

However, OP is wrong on insisting she gets a 4y degree. Degrees are overrated. Plus, she’s not good at math and will never be. Let it go.
What is she good at. What are her skills. Is she a good salesperson? She can find a high paying sales job without a 4y degree.
She could start a business. My sister started a business selling stuffs on Etsy and Amazon. She’s doing very well and now out earning her DH.
Focus on her skills and help her leverage them.

[Anonymous]

Sheetz women are preferably to Wawa women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s telling you it’s because of math because she doesn’t want to tell you she’s freaking tired and slightly resentful (slightly now, later it will be greatly) because she’s given up a lot to be married to you.

Op here. This isn't accurate. Math is a big reason. She has a documented disability. A psychologist recommended math should be waived or substituted, and some colleges were able to offer that to her. She had a complete psych evaluation done and it says on the document if she doesn't get math waived or substituted, it is very likely she won't be able to finish. We moved around because I was pursuing higher education so that I could take care of things. There's no need to be harsh.

What kind of condition makes her not be able to do any kind of math but everything else? Admittedly, I'm no expert on LD, but I've never heard of such a thing.

And I have to say.. it's ironic that a math professor married someone and procreated with someone who has an LD that makes her not be able to do math. Did you know this before you married her?

Is this a real post?

Dyscalculia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s telling you it’s because of math because she doesn’t want to tell you she’s freaking tired and slightly resentful (slightly now, later it will be greatly) because she’s given up a lot to be married to you.

Op here. This isn't accurate. Math is a big reason. She has a documented disability. A psychologist recommended math should be waived or substituted, and some colleges were able to offer that to her. She had a complete psych evaluation done and it says on the document if she doesn't get math waived or substituted, it is very likely she won't be able to finish. We moved around because I was pursuing higher education so that I could take care of things. There's no need to be harsh.

What kind of condition makes her not be able to do any kind of math but everything else? Admittedly, I'm no expert on LD, but I've never heard of such a thing.

And I have to say.. it's ironic that a math professor married someone and procreated with someone who has an LD that makes her not be able to do math. Did you know this before you married her?

Is this a real post?

I wasn't a professor when I met her. I was a statistics teacher's assistant. Plenty of people have multiple learning disabilities. You sound like an awful person. I didn't marry her so she could do the math for me or discuss my job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She got a full scholarship as a transfer student without apply to a specific college?

Yes there is a college that partners with her community college. She also automatically gets scholarships because she's on the honor society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is right. He makes $160k. I understand why he is frustrated that she’s not willing to get an education that will improve her chances of finding a better paying job. Most successful families have two working parents that are pulling their weight. OP’s wife needs to step up her game. I understand she stayed home to take care of the kids. But pretty soon the kids will be full-time in school. What is she gonna do? If OP was making $300k, she could stay home or work a job that doesn’t bring much.
If they live in this area, $160k for a family of 4 is not much. It’ll be very hard to save enough for retirement and kids college.
I understand why OP wants her to be more ambitious.

However, OP is wrong on insisting she gets a 4y degree. Degrees are overrated. Plus, she’s not good at math and will never be. Let it go.
What is she good at. What are her skills. Is she a good salesperson? She can find a high paying sales job without a 4y degree.
She could start a business. My sister started a business selling stuffs on Etsy and Amazon. She’s doing very well and now out earning her DH.
Focus on her skills and help her leverage them.

Op here. I never said anything about wanting my wife to work. I said the opposite. I would be more than happy if she finished a degree and didn't work outside the house. She wants to work part-time to have a balance, and I am fine with that too. I looked over the Wawa benefits, and they are really good, considering she can work part-time and still get a 401k match and company stocks. We max out our roths each year and also have life insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So in a few years, when she decides she wants to finish a four-year degree, and the OP needs to pay, how is that fair?

She produced two kids from her own body. OP did not. So yeah, if he pays it is fair. He cannot match her real contribution.

[Anonymous]

I don't know a single PhD married to someone with no education...I don't really believe this...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know a single PhD married to someone with no education...I don't really believe this...

You sound uneducated yourself. His wife presumably finished high school. People don't always advertise their education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know a single PhD married to someone with no education...I don't really believe this...

Same! Are you foreigners OP?