Wife stopped at associates degree and now working at Wawa

[Anonymous]

Egad, what I hear here is a husband who thinks education is all about math who thinks math plays a much greater role in education than it actually does! You said she wanted to work in teaching. Bachelors degrees in education do not require significant math. This is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Your wife had a well-paying job with the credentials she had. That is a rare, rare thing these days, and you took her away from it and her family support so you could meet your own career goals. We aren’t hearing from her so we don’t know if she willingly made the sacrifice or made it grudgingly. But you are asking a whole hell of a lot from her- take care of kids, go to school, work, all while she is managing what appears to be a fairly crippling learning disorder. What are YOU doing? Do you handle the mental load of running the house? Do you know how much toilet paper is left and the status in each bathroom? Do you know what sizes the kids wear and have the next sizes washed and ready to go for when the kids shoot up 2 inches overnight? How about doctors appointments- do you schedule and attend those? How about milk- how much is left? If a kid gets sick, what’s the care backup plan? What’s going on with the laundry? Who needs clean underwear?

I work and earn much more than you OP and this is MY daily reality as a mom of similar age children - managing all the unseen crap that nevertheless has to happen is a full time job in and of itself and one that men chronically under appreciate. Sure my spouse helps out with tasks if he is directed, but guess who is the cruise director every day, rain or shine, sickness and health, 365 days a year and 366 every four. That’s right, Mom.

Your wife is telling you she’s tapped out. Leave her the hell alone.

[Anonymous]

I’d rather have a wife with a boob job than education. It inspires me to make as much money as we need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather have a wife with a boob job than education. It inspires me to make as much money as we need.

Why not just get a cow instead so you can milk it regularly? You sound like a 12 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather have a wife with a boob job than education. It inspires me to make as much money as we need.

Donald Trump has entered the chat! (minus the making money part)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Egad, what I hear here is a husband who thinks education is all about math who thinks math plays a much greater role in education than it actually does! You said she wanted to work in teaching. Bachelor's degrees in education do not require significant math. This is nuts.

You didn't read the post correctly. He said she struggles to fulfill the basic math requirements, but RIGHT NOW, the math she has taken does satisfy the requirements for two BA degrees. An education degree requires several math classes and a basic knowledge test. If she takes a break for too long, the math requirements will change. Op also never said he's forcing her to work. It's clear that work was supposed to be college. When she decided to go back, her goal was to get ba degree. I can see his point. She may be able to get a degree without any debt and later in life, it can help her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Egad, what I hear here is a husband who thinks education is all about math who thinks math plays a much greater role in education than it actually does! You said she wanted to work in teaching. Bachelors degrees in education do not require significant math. This is nuts.

If it prevents her from graduating, then yes, it plays a big part. You can't have an education without fulfilling everything. He's not asking her to be major in math. The reason they have a high income and 160k is high is because of his stem degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Egad, what I hear here is a husband who thinks education is all about math who thinks math plays a much greater role in education than it actually does! You said she wanted to work in teaching. Bachelors degrees in education do not require significant math. This is nuts.

If it prevents her from graduating, then yes, it plays a big part. You can't have an education without fulfilling everything. He's not asking her to be major in math. The reason they have a high income and 160k is high is because of his stem degrees.

$160k is not a high income for a family of 4 in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Egad, what I hear here is a husband who thinks education is all about math who thinks math plays a much greater role in education than it actually does! You said she wanted to work in teaching. Bachelors degrees in education do not require significant math. This is nuts.

If it prevents her from graduating, then yes, it plays a big part. You can't have an education without fulfilling everything. He's not asking her to be major in math. The reason they have a high income and 160k is high is because of his stem degrees.

$160k is not a high income for a family of 4 in this area.

It's fine and it's a high income in the US. They didn't say they lived in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WaWa is a great place to work. great benefits, upward mobility and growing. Family owned business yet the employees have a great ownership program.

Maybe she will out perform you someday. I hope so and then she can look down on you like you are looking down on her now.

I have BSN in Nursing. I always find it funny with super educated people who think that they're so superior and then find out that there are plenty of people out there who make more money and don't have college degree, or just associate degree.

[Anonymous]

Is she’s interested she can learn how to do medical billing and work in a nice PT office or can do it after the kids are sleeping from home.

[Anonymous]

You will be very bored around her very soon; if there are no other issues and it’s not a big deal, you have a good chance of having a great life together.
She will fleece you for a ton of support if you divorce.
Otherwise, I don’t think you can motivate someone who is not interested in intellectual pursuits.
She probably doesn’t believe she can earn much more to be worth losing a great work life balance. And she probably isn’t wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could start by moving back to where you lived before, where she has family nearby and better job prospects. The theme I see running through your post uses how you keep expecting her to make sacrifices for your goals and preferences.

Also, there is a pretty big disconnect between you saying you’re fine with her not working but also wanting her to put herself in a position for a better job by finishing her bachelor's. How much of this is about wanting to save for college, and how much is your embarrassment that your PhD-in-math self is married to someone who works at Wawa?

That won't work. My job allows us to pay the mortgage and save more. I need to be around big pharmaceutical companies. I'm not embarrassed by her education. Since she has an opportunity to pursue a bachelor's, it makes since to do it now. If something happens to me, she won't be able to pay the mortgage.

You need to buy a sizable life insurance policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will be very bored around her very soon; if there are no other issues and it’s not a big deal, you have a good chance of having a great life together.
She will fleece you for a ton of support if you divorce.
Otherwise, I don’t think you can motivate someone who is not interested in intellectual pursuits.
She probably doesn’t believe she can earn much more to be worth losing a great work life balance. And she probably isn’t wrong.

Intellectual pursuits? Are you serious? A 4 year degree is job training these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she’s interested she can learn how to do medical billing and work in a nice PT office or can do it after the kids are sleeping from home.

Op said somewhere she only wants to work part-time and she doesn't want a desk job because she has joint issues. She needs a ob where she's moving around. Wawa doesn't sound half bad when you consider those two things.