Son and DIL insulting vacation we paid for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think context is important. If they are truly eager to do a big family vacation and they cannot afford to stay at the beach on their own, they should be gracious.

If there is family pressure and guilt trips and they feel like to keep the peace, they must come, then of course they will be resentful. It's up to them to take the high road and decide they will not do this again and they will plan and pay for their own vacations.

Just don't be the parents who manipulate everyone into coming and one no amount of "thank yous" is enough. If they are doing you a favor by giving in then now you see the resentment drips out.

This. They didn't want to go. They probably have a limited amount of free time. Going to the beach w/ young kids can be exhausting. They were probably told when and where and what to bring. If they declined, mom would be "so hurt" that they couldn't accept her wonderful gift.

So what if they don't want to go. OP is the glue that is keeping this family together. Of all the things someone has to "suck up" to participate in family, I think a "trip" to a beach house once a year with family members is a pretty easy one to swallow.

Such spoiled brats on DCUM.

Spoiled Boomer ILs is more like it. What they want, they get!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son and DIL haven’t joined us for our annual beach house vacation since before COVID, so we were thrilled that the came along this year and brought their two boys. DH and I pay for the rental, which is several thousand. We think it’s a very nice house and location. Our kids and their spouses contribute groceries and meals.

The son/DIL who haven’t joined in years have been complaining nonstop, calling it a “trip” and saying things like “these curtains are so flimsy, we can’t sleep in the morning” and saying “anytime you have to make up the bed and bring your own toilet paper, it’s not a vacation, it’s a trip.” They some of it jokingly, but have real complaints and annoyances about the house. No rental is perfect, but what can you expect? Should we ask them to stop?

Didn't you post before and we told you not everyone likes the beach nor finds a shared house comfortable. That is not really a vacation if you have to cook and clean. Did you take their needs and feelings into consideration?

It's an opportunity for the family to spend time in the same house. That's the point of it -- mature people like OP get this. Immature people like you and OP's son are still childish and think a family vacation should include roller coaster rides and cotton candy.

It's spending time together. They're lucky OP and their father care enough to do this for the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son and DIL haven’t joined us for our annual beach house vacation since before COVID, so we were thrilled that the came along this year and brought their two boys. DH and I pay for the rental, which is several thousand. We think it’s a very nice house and location. Our kids and their spouses contribute groceries and meals.

The son/DIL who haven’t joined in years have been complaining nonstop, calling it a “trip” and saying things like “these curtains are so flimsy, we can’t sleep in the morning” and saying “anytime you have to make up the bed and bring your own toilet paper, it’s not a vacation, it’s a trip.” They some of it jokingly, but have real complaints and annoyances about the house. No rental is perfect, but what can you expect? Should we ask them to stop?

Didn't you post before and we told you not everyone likes the beach nor finds a shared house comfortable. That is not really a vacation if you have to cook and clean. Did you take their needs and feelings into consideration?

It's an opportunity for the family to spend time in the same house. That's the point of it -- mature people like OP get this. Immature people like you and OP's son are still childish and think a family vacation should include roller coaster rides and cotton candy.

It's spending time together. They're lucky OP and their father care enough to do this for the family.

This is wonderful satire. Well-done.

[Anonymous]

OP this is your dream vacation, but not everyone likes it. The idea of a week isolated in a house with the inlaws for a week is stressful. Allow them to come for a weekend as guests. Don't expect them to cook or buy your meals. If you treat them like they are doing you a favor by using PTO and driving a long way to spend time in a place that YOU like, everyone will be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think context is important. If they are truly eager to do a big family vacation and they cannot afford to stay at the beach on their own, they should be gracious.

If there is family pressure and guilt trips and they feel like to keep the peace, they must come, then of course they will be resentful. It's up to them to take the high road and decide they will not do this again and they will plan and pay for their own vacations.

Just don't be the parents who manipulate everyone into coming and one no amount of "thank yous" is enough. If they are doing you a favor by giving in then now you see the resentment drips out.

This. They didn't want to go. They probably have a limited amount of free time. Going to the beach w/ young kids can be exhausting. They were probably told when and where and what to bring. If they declined, mom would be "so hurt" that they couldn't accept her wonderful gift.

So what if they don't want to go. OP is the glue that is keeping this family together. Of all the things someone has to "suck up" to participate in family, I think a "trip" to a beach house once a year with family members is a pretty easy one to swallow.

Such spoiled brats on DCUM.

Spoiled Boomer ILs is more like it. What they want, they get!

Anyone who criticizes "boomers" is not worth listening to. That got old and dropped out of fashion a long time ago, dork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son and DIL haven’t joined us for our annual beach house vacation since before COVID, so we were thrilled that the came along this year and brought their two boys. DH and I pay for the rental, which is several thousand. We think it’s a very nice house and location. Our kids and their spouses contribute groceries and meals.

The son/DIL who haven’t joined in years have been complaining nonstop, calling it a “trip” and saying things like “these curtains are so flimsy, we can’t sleep in the morning” and saying “anytime you have to make up the bed and bring your own toilet paper, it’s not a vacation, it’s a trip.” They some of it jokingly, but have real complaints and annoyances about the house. No rental is perfect, but what can you expect? Should we ask them to stop?

Didn't you post before and we told you not everyone likes the beach nor finds a shared house comfortable. That is not really a vacation if you have to cook and clean. Did you take their needs and feelings into consideration?

It's an opportunity for the family to spend time in the same house. That's the point of it -- mature people like OP get this. Immature people like you and OP's son are still childish and think a family vacation should include roller coaster rides and cotton candy.

It's spending time together. They're lucky OP and their father care enough to do this for the family.

This is wonderful satire. Well-done.

I'm sure there are well adjusted, healthy, loving and emotionally functional adults who can see that it's not satire. Bitterness and sarcasm is a red flag, PP....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think context is important. If they are truly eager to do a big family vacation and they cannot afford to stay at the beach on their own, they should be gracious.

If there is family pressure and guilt trips and they feel like to keep the peace, they must come, then of course they will be resentful. It's up to them to take the high road and decide they will not do this again and they will plan and pay for their own vacations.

Just don't be the parents who manipulate everyone into coming and one no amount of "thank yous" is enough. If they are doing you a favor by giving in then now you see the resentment drips out.

This. They didn't want to go. They probably have a limited amount of free time. Going to the beach w/ young kids can be exhausting. They were probably told when and where and what to bring. If they declined, mom would be "so hurt" that they couldn't accept her wonderful gift.

So what if they don't want to go. OP is the glue that is keeping this family together. Of all the things someone has to "suck up" to participate in family, I think a "trip" to a beach house once a year with family members is a pretty easy one to swallow.

Such spoiled brats on DCUM.

Spoiled Boomer ILs is more like it. What they want, they get!

Anyone who criticizes "boomers" is not worth listening to. That got old and dropped out of fashion a long time ago, dork.

Go listen to some Jimmy Buffett and raid your retirement again. You'll feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son and DIL haven’t joined us for our annual beach house vacation since before COVID, so we were thrilled that the came along this year and brought their two boys. DH and I pay for the rental, which is several thousand. We think it’s a very nice house and location. Our kids and their spouses contribute groceries and meals.

The son/DIL who haven’t joined in years have been complaining nonstop, calling it a “trip” and saying things like “these curtains are so flimsy, we can’t sleep in the morning” and saying “anytime you have to make up the bed and bring your own toilet paper, it’s not a vacation, it’s a trip.” They some of it jokingly, but have real complaints and annoyances about the house. No rental is perfect, but what can you expect? Should we ask them to stop?

Didn't you post before and we told you not everyone likes the beach nor finds a shared house comfortable. That is not really a vacation if you have to cook and clean. Did you take their needs and feelings into consideration?

It's an opportunity for the family to spend time in the same house. That's the point of it -- mature people like OP get this. Immature people like you and OP's son are still childish and think a family vacation should include roller coaster rides and cotton candy.

It's spending time together. They're lucky OP and their father care enough to do this for the family.

This is wonderful satire. Well-done.

I'm sure there are well adjusted, healthy, loving and emotionally functional adults who can see that it's not satire. Bitterness and sarcasm is a red flag, PP....

Can’t decide if satire or possibly brunch grandma…

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they joined out of guilt, whether you guilted them or they guilted themselves. But they are grown ups behaving rudely, so I think it's fine to talk to them. "Justin and Larla, I understand this trip isn't your ideal vacation, but the digs and complaints are starting to hurt my feelings. Can we just all try to make the best of our time here, and in the future I promise to be understanding if you don't want to use your vacation time to join us. I remember how exhausting life can be at this point in your career/with kids/ whatever."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son and DIL haven’t joined us for our annual beach house vacation since before COVID, so we were thrilled that the came along this year and brought their two boys. DH and I pay for the rental, which is several thousand. We think it’s a very nice house and location. Our kids and their spouses contribute groceries and meals.

The son/DIL who haven’t joined in years have been complaining nonstop, calling it a “trip” and saying things like “these curtains are so flimsy, we can’t sleep in the morning” and saying “anytime you have to make up the bed and bring your own toilet paper, it’s not a vacation, it’s a trip.” They some of it jokingly, but have real complaints and annoyances about the house. No rental is perfect, but what can you expect? Should we ask them to stop?

Didn't you post before and we told you not everyone likes the beach nor finds a shared house comfortable. That is not really a vacation if you have to cook and clean. Did you take their needs and feelings into consideration?

It's an opportunity for the family to spend time in the same house. That's the point of it -- mature people like OP get this. Immature people like you and OP's son are still childish and think a family vacation should include roller coaster rides and cotton candy.

It's spending time together. They're lucky OP and their father care enough to do this for the family.

This is wonderful satire. Well-done.

I'm sure there are well adjusted, healthy, loving and emotionally functional adults who can see that it's not satire. Bitterness and sarcasm is a red flag, PP....

OP would do well to ask herself if she is as generous and well-intentioned as she claims, or if her gift comes with strings attached and a side of guilt. I agree her kid and DIL should keep their comments to themselves, but it still wouldn't hurt OP to consider if maybe there are other ways to spend time with family that meet everyone's needs and terms. Not just "I pay for this and I want this."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be they felt pressured or guilted into using their vacation time in a way they wouldn’t choose. We get guilted into family cruises that are definitely not our thing. So while the cruise is paid for it’s not at all how I would choose to spend my limited PTO

And yet you are choosing it, because no one put a gun to your head and marched you onto the ship. You may politely decline, but accepting and then complaining is ridiculous. And don’t give me “pressure and guilt,” because so what? My ILs pressure and guilt us to try to get us to go camping with them every year, and it’s a big fat no. And then what? They don’t cast a spell to turn us into frogs or something. They’re disappointed. And? So?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think context is important. If they are truly eager to do a big family vacation and they cannot afford to stay at the beach on their own, they should be gracious.

If there is family pressure and guilt trips and they feel like to keep the peace, they must come, then of course they will be resentful. It's up to them to take the high road and decide they will not do this again and they will plan and pay for their own vacations.

Just don't be the parents who manipulate everyone into coming and one no amount of "thank yous" is enough. If they are doing you a favor by giving in then now you see the resentment drips out.

This. They didn't want to go. They probably have a limited amount of free time. Going to the beach w/ young kids can be exhausting. They were probably told when and where and what to bring. If they declined, mom would be "so hurt" that they couldn't accept her wonderful gift.

So what if they don't want to go. OP is the glue that is keeping this family together. Of all the things someone has to "suck up" to participate in family, I think a "trip" to a beach house once a year with family members is a pretty easy one to swallow.

Such spoiled brats on DCUM.

Spoiled Boomer ILs is more like it. What they want, they get!

Anyone who criticizes "boomers" is not worth listening to. That got old and dropped out of fashion a long time ago, dork.

Go listen to some Jimmy Buffett and raid your retirement again. You'll feel better.

I'm not a boomer. I'm just tired of boring people who write off an entire group of people. You are boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son and DIL haven’t joined us for our annual beach house vacation since before COVID, so we were thrilled that the came along this year and brought their two boys. DH and I pay for the rental, which is several thousand. We think it’s a very nice house and location. Our kids and their spouses contribute groceries and meals.

The son/DIL who haven’t joined in years have been complaining nonstop, calling it a “trip” and saying things like “these curtains are so flimsy, we can’t sleep in the morning” and saying “anytime you have to make up the bed and bring your own toilet paper, it’s not a vacation, it’s a trip.” They some of it jokingly, but have real complaints and annoyances about the house. No rental is perfect, but what can you expect? Should we ask them to stop?

Didn't you post before and we told you not everyone likes the beach nor finds a shared house comfortable. That is not really a vacation if you have to cook and clean. Did you take their needs and feelings into consideration?

It's an opportunity for the family to spend time in the same house. That's the point of it -- mature people like OP get this. Immature people like you and OP's son are still childish and think a family vacation should include roller coaster rides and cotton candy.

It's spending time together. They're lucky OP and their father care enough to do this for the family.

This is wonderful satire. Well-done.

I'm sure there are well adjusted, healthy, loving and emotionally functional adults who can see that it's not satire. Bitterness and sarcasm is a red flag, PP....

OP would do well to ask herself if she is as generous and well-intentioned as she claims, or if her gift comes with strings attached and a side of guilt. I agree her kid and DIL should keep their comments to themselves, but it still wouldn't hurt OP to consider if maybe there are other ways to spend time with family that meet everyone's needs and terms. Not just "I pay for this and I want this."

Well she's a human being so of course it comes with strings attached. Is wanting to spend time with her kids and their spouses really such a bad thing? I really wonder why people with attitudes like many on this thread even bother having children themselves. It's a huge amount of work and apparently there is no love so what's the point? I think people who are not even connected to their own family are sick and represent the end of society. It used to be, wow, we're not even connected to our neighbors. Now there's not even a connection to someone's mother or their spouse's mother.

That's f'd up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son and DIL haven’t joined us for our annual beach house vacation since before COVID, so we were thrilled that the came along this year and brought their two boys. DH and I pay for the rental, which is several thousand. We think it’s a very nice house and location. Our kids and their spouses contribute groceries and meals.

The son/DIL who haven’t joined in years have been complaining nonstop, calling it a “trip” and saying things like “these curtains are so flimsy, we can’t sleep in the morning” and saying “anytime you have to make up the bed and bring your own toilet paper, it’s not a vacation, it’s a trip.” They some of it jokingly, but have real complaints and annoyances about the house. No rental is perfect, but what can you expect? Should we ask them to stop?

Didn't you post before and we told you not everyone likes the beach nor finds a shared house comfortable. That is not really a vacation if you have to cook and clean. Did you take their needs and feelings into consideration?

It's an opportunity for the family to spend time in the same house. That's the point of it -- mature people like OP get this. Immature people like you and OP's son are still childish and think a family vacation should include roller coaster rides and cotton candy.

It's spending time together. They're lucky OP and their father care enough to do this for the family.

This is wonderful satire. Well-done.

I'm sure there are well adjusted, healthy, loving and emotionally functional adults who can see that it's not satire. Bitterness and sarcasm is a red flag, PP....

OP would do well to ask herself if she is as generous and well-intentioned as she claims, or if her gift comes with strings attached and a side of guilt. I agree her kid and DIL should keep their comments to themselves, but it still wouldn't hurt OP to consider if maybe there are other ways to spend time with family that meet everyone's needs and terms. Not just "I pay for this and I want this."

Well she's a human being so of course it comes with strings attached. Is wanting to spend time with her kids and their spouses really such a bad thing? I really wonder why people with attitudes like many on this thread even bother having children themselves. It's a huge amount of work and apparently there is no love so what's the point? I think people who are not even connected to their own family are sick and represent the end of society. It used to be, wow, we're not even connected to our neighbors. Now there's not even a connection to someone's mother or their spouse's mother.

That's f'd up.

Or maybe we are not obligated to spend time with those who do not bring us peace. To be clear, I am not saying OP is that type of person. But blood alone doesn't obligate you to be connected to anyone, to speak to your larger point. Family isn't owed anything if there is no mutual respect.

[Anonymous]

OMG, I feel stressed just reading about OP's annual vacation from he11.
I can relate. Annual beach trips with inlaws in the same house are really not fun. Totally a stress fest.

My family does this and apparently we all have amnesia about how miserable it is. We have a ton of funny stories about brawls and drunken Aunts and Uncles, bratty kids, sun burns and jelly fish attacks.. hilarious memories. The best year was when when there was a hurricane evacuation after we were at the beach house 2 days. We left the beach and went on our own separate vacation elsewhere. That was much more fun.