What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known a couple of these guys through work. In my experience, they try to look for much younger women to hook up with. A surprising number fall for catfishing scams, two were fired for sexual harassment in the workplace, and a couple remarried a much younger woman and started a second, younger family.

Uhhhh... any guy who can hook up with or marry a much younger woman is NOT a dud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known a couple of these guys through work. In my experience, they try to look for much younger women to hook up with. A surprising number fall for catfishing scams, two were fired for sexual harassment in the workplace, and a couple remarried a much younger woman and started a second, younger family.

Uhhhh... any guy who can hook up with or marry a much younger woman is NOT a dud.

“Younger” includes women who are mentally ill, ugly, fat, have criminal records, have facial tattoos… “Young” is not a measure of quality.

[Anonymous]

Statistically, they die. Some very young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But really the problem is that every divorced woman thinks her XH is a dud, and other women disagree.

This seems like the most plausible explanation to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

Wow. Do your kids know they’re one of your biggest mistakes? A$$hole

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

Oh, sweetie. You’re not a winner, and deep down inside, you know it. That’s why you made this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

I am a woman and I agree with the previous poster… The biggest mistakes in my life were getting married and having children. I love my kids and I’m a great mom but these were still two of the biggest mistakes of my life. It’s simply not worth it and has derailed to the things that I really wanted to do. I am so sick of this society glorifying motherhood and parenthood. A lot of it sucks and it’s not worth the “reward” everyone espouses.

That's your problem, just like it's the PP's problem. Don't have kids expecting a magic rewards. Have kids if you want kids. And if you have kids and view it as the biggest mistake of your life, you are a dud parent, no matter your gender. I wish both of you had figured out this out earlier, before bringing kids into the world, who will now have to live with your mistakes. Selfish.

Newsflash: half of all pregnancies in the US are not planned. Even now. Half of kids are not planned. I was not expecting rewards. It was not the plan. I am still a good parent. But it was still the second biggest mistake. Who would want to be saddled with a man you don't want to be with to raise kids or coparent with? That is why marriage was the first biggest mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.

I am a woman and I agree with the previous poster… The biggest mistakes in my life were getting married and having children. I love my kids and I’m a great mom but these were still two of the biggest mistakes of my life. It’s simply not worth it and has derailed to the things that I really wanted to do. I am so sick of this society glorifying motherhood and parenthood. A lot of it sucks and it’s not worth the “reward” everyone espouses.

You are not a great mom if you view your kids as two of the biggest mistakes of your life. They can pick up on that. And you should have figured out you didn’t want kids before having them. It’s not society’s fault; it’s yours.

No, they don't pick up on it. They know half of pregnancies are not planned. I was not planned. My sibling was not planned. My father was not planned. This whole planning to have kids thing is very new historically. Birth control can fail and there can be one time accidents unprotected . Most babies are surprises. And yes, society does glorify parenthood and motherhood. That is not blame. That is a fact. You are doing it right now. It's great..for you maybe. Not for everyone. Most of it is work with little to no reward. If you like it, fine. Not everyone does. That does not mean neglect or bad parenting...it just means is is not fulfilling to that person. People can still meet their obligations of raising a kid without having to love it. That is how most people were raised. Not in this modern fantasy of how great it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

Oh, sweetie. You’re not a winner, and deep down inside, you know it. That’s why you made this post.

No, he could have a bad ex-wife. But no woman wants to take responsibility of being a bad partner. Many women are. And I am a woman. Bad partners can be men or women. And for logical people rather than emotional ones, it is very easy to logically see why marriage and parenting are a mistake. There is no ROI. It is all give and sacrifice. It is lost time and lost opportunity for other things that that person might find more enjoyable than raising a kid, which a lot of it is drudgery.

[Anonymous]

One woman's dud is another's diamond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One woman's dud is another's diamond.

+1

And whoever divorced who they think is a dud is certainly not jealous of him dating someone else. She can have him!

[Anonymous]

There are always desperate women happy to shop in the broken toy aisle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex was a dud husband. He has never been without a partner (cheated on me, and then subsequent girlfriends). Now he has found a very reasonable girlfriend who lives with him and takes care of my kids every other weekend when they visit. So, she is my co-parent. It's totally annoying to me, but better for my ex and my kids. And the girlfriend gets to play "step mom," which she seems to appreciate. She does not have her own kids.

And for the past year, I think I've been dating someone's "dud" ex-husband. My significant other has 50 percent custody. He puts a lot of effort toward parenting, but I suspect he did not during his marriage. His household is in disarray, so we spend our time at my place. I will not marry him or live with him. He does his job well, but has poor executive function outside of work. I won't take that on again, so this relationship can only advance to a certain point.

So, apparently these are the men I attract. Or settle for.

Option 3 (most likely): These are the men you are attracted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

As a divorced man I have to admit this is true. Dating is mostly online these days. And for every 10 likes I get, women will get like 200. And there are a lot of good single men out there for decent divorced women. But once a guy is 50 or so, it’s really tough to find women, exception is only with very rare rich and fit guys. It’s so much easier for women.

Are you willing to date women your own age? I imagine that would increase the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

You are a dud and pathetic.