I hate the comments my husband makes about what I eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve mentioned it before how his comments come across as rude and unhelpful. Im 5’2, 130lbs. Im not overweight or trying to change my body, I know im not at an ideal weight for my size but im healthy that that’s the most important thing to me.

He constantly makes side commentary about what I eat. I had put a second tablespoon of parmesan and he snorted/laughed when I did this. I asked him what the problem was and he commented about how I must "really like parmesan." I asked him what the problem is and he said nothing.

I was eating wheat crackers earlier today about an hour before dinner and grabbed one more cracker from the bag, he said "are you sure you’re going to be hungry for dinner later?" I asked him why it’s his concern if/when I eat crackers and he went "oh god THIS again", like how dare I have the audacity to be offended by what be said.

I cook and do all the grocery shopping in our household. We eat healthy and have indulgences once in a while. He has some weird hangups about his own body.

Honestly I’m just sick of him and his snide commentary - if it’s not what I’m eating it’s what I’m buying or doing. He always has some kind of unkind comment.

Textbook VBA.

About being 5’2” and 130? No.

Imagine the corpulence of a woman believing OP posted a VBA.

Right?? Omg. I’m 5-2 and weighing 130 makes me a size 10. Nope nope nope.

I'm 5'5 and 130 makes me a puffy, chunky monkey, but the DH is still an ass. "if it’s not what I’m eating it’s what I’m buying or doing. He always has some kind of unkind comment." He sounds like a controlling dick all around. I doubt if OP wanted support in dropping 30 lbs and the work it takes to do that he'd be supportive.

WTF is wrong with you?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

Then wouldn’t you say that in a kind and mature way vs making snide comments? He sounds like he’s not ready to be in an adult relationship.

It’s clearly a pattern as evidenced by the comments “not this again?!”

If OP said “Screw you DH, I think I look great and eat healthy” that would be fine. There is nothing wrong with 5’2” 130.

It sounds like the issue is that DW thinks she should lose weight, claims as much, but then turns around and stuffs her face.
There is a reason being fat is considered low-class and this is it; it reflects lack of accountability, which is, again, a huge turn off and difficult not to lose respect and develop contempt, which clearly her DH has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's trying to tell you he's not that into you at your current weight.

Obviously.
That doesn't make it okay though.

DH does the same and I believe it’s because he doesn’t like my weight gain. I think it’s a control issue - If he comments on my food choices and controls what I eat then I’ll be thin. It totally doesn’t work. No one can calorie restrict unless they want to and shaming your partner doesn’t make them want to lose weight. I hate the comments so I eat really healthy around DH, then eat what I want when he’s not around. We just went on vacation and I was starving the whole time. We got home and I ate everything that wasn’t tied down. I’m 5’5” 160lbs and have accepted my weight. I wish DH would just accept me at my weight and let me live around him.

Yeah, it’s not a control thing, he wants you to be thinner because that is more sexually appealing to him. Do you think he would be controlling if you were at your most attractive (to him weight)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

Why should she have a goal to eat less? She likes her body, she is healthy, she's good.

And the fact that you are on the team of somebody who makes passive aggressive, idiotic comments to try to control somebody else's weight should embarrass the hell out of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's trying to tell you he's not that into you at your current weight.

Obviously.
That doesn't make it okay though.

DH does the same and I believe it’s because he doesn’t like my weight gain. I think it’s a control issue - If he comments on my food choices and controls what I eat then I’ll be thin. It totally doesn’t work. No one can calorie restrict unless they want to and shaming your partner doesn’t make them want to lose weight. I hate the comments so I eat really healthy around DH, then eat what I want when he’s not around. We just went on vacation and I was starving the whole time. We got home and I ate everything that wasn’t tied down. I’m 5’5” 160lbs and have accepted my weight. I wish DH would just accept me at my weight and let me live around him.

Yeah, it’s not a control thing, he wants you to be thinner because that is more sexually appealing to him. Do you think he would be controlling if you were at your most attractive (to him weight)?

NP. That's still control. It's like somebody who gives their dog a treat when the dog does a trick. Approval or not, somebody is still treating you like a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

Then wouldn’t you say that in a kind and mature way vs making snide comments? He sounds like he’s not ready to be in an adult relationship.

It’s clearly a pattern as evidenced by the comments “not this again?!”

If OP said “Screw you DH, I think I look great and eat healthy” that would be fine. There is nothing wrong with 5’2” 130.

It sounds like the issue is that DW thinks she should lose weight, claims as much, but then turns around and stuffs her face.
There is a reason being fat is considered low-class and this is it; it reflects lack of accountability, which is, again, a huge turn off and difficult not to lose respect and develop contempt, which clearly her DH has.

Let’s all sit here in awe of the sheer awfulness of this ^ woman. Dear god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

YOU are a turn off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

Then wouldn’t you say that in a kind and mature way vs making snide comments? He sounds like he’s not ready to be in an adult relationship.

It’s clearly a pattern as evidenced by the comments “not this again?!”

If OP said “Screw you DH, I think I look great and eat healthy” that would be fine. There is nothing wrong with 5’2” 130.

It sounds like the issue is that DW thinks she should lose weight, claims as much, but then turns around and stuffs her face.
There is a reason being fat is considered low-class and this is it; it reflects lack of accountability, which is, again, a huge turn off and difficult not to lose respect and develop contempt, which clearly her DH has.

Let’s all sit here in awe of the sheer awfulness of this ^ woman. Dear god.

I know, right? It's like she downloaded sexist talking points from her first boyfriend and never got a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's trying to tell you he's not that into you at your current weight.

Obviously.
That doesn't make it okay though.

DH does the same and I believe it’s because he doesn’t like my weight gain. I think it’s a control issue - If he comments on my food choices and controls what I eat then I’ll be thin. It totally doesn’t work. No one can calorie restrict unless they want to and shaming your partner doesn’t make them want to lose weight. I hate the comments so I eat really healthy around DH, then eat what I want when he’s not around. We just went on vacation and I was starving the whole time. We got home and I ate everything that wasn’t tied down. I’m 5’5” 160lbs and have accepted my weight. I wish DH would just accept me at my weight and let me live around him.

Yeah, it’s not a control thing, he wants you to be thinner because that is more sexually appealing to him. Do you think he would be controlling if you were at your most attractive (to him weight)?

NP. That's still control. It's like somebody who gives their dog a treat when the dog does a trick. Approval or not, somebody is still treating you like a dog.

Of course. It’s clear that these guys care about their wives’ sexual appearance above anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

Then wouldn’t you say that in a kind and mature way vs making snide comments? He sounds like he’s not ready to be in an adult relationship.

It’s clearly a pattern as evidenced by the comments “not this again?!”

If OP said “Screw you DH, I think I look great and eat healthy” that would be fine. There is nothing wrong with 5’2” 130.

It sounds like the issue is that DW thinks she should lose weight, claims as much, but then turns around and stuffs her face.
There is a reason being fat is considered low-class and this is it; it reflects lack of accountability, which is, again, a huge turn off and difficult not to lose respect and develop contempt, which clearly her DH has.

I'm going to ignore the ridiculousness of your comment and say this:

one huge problem with his comments is that he is being passive aggressive in a way that maintains plausible deniability. If she stands up for herself, he has left himself a nice escape hatch to a place where he can look innocent and she look oversensitive. If she says what you say would be fine, he will say "woah, I never said you were fat, lighten up, you're trying to make me look like a bad person, I just care about you," etc etc.

OP does need to be a broken record and say "regardless, you still need to stop saying that," but it's so much trickier to do that than if her husband had said "Omg, you are eating like a cow, stop."

[Anonymous]

Any size 10 woman enjoying parmesan deserves to be treated like crap. That is just unacceptable behavior. Right PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any size 10 woman enjoying parmesan deserves to be treated like crap. That is just unacceptable behavior. Right PP?

LOL seriously. I still can't believe that there was a comment about a second tablespoon of parmesan. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, even that fat kid in Matilda sneaking chocolate cake. It's such frat boy behavior. But a tablespoon of parmesan??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

Then wouldn’t you say that in a kind and mature way vs making snide comments? He sounds like he’s not ready to be in an adult relationship.

It’s clearly a pattern as evidenced by the comments “not this again?!”

If OP said “Screw you DH, I think I look great and eat healthy” that would be fine. There is nothing wrong with 5’2” 130.

It sounds like the issue is that DW thinks she should lose weight, claims as much, but then turns around and stuffs her face.
There is a reason being fat is considered low-class and this is it; it reflects lack of accountability, which is, again, a huge turn off and difficult not to lose respect and develop contempt, which clearly her DH has.

Let’s all sit here in awe of the sheer awfulness of this ^ woman. Dear god.

I know, right? It's like she downloaded sexist talking points from her first boyfriend and never got a clue.

This has nothing to do with sexism, sex, or gender. It’s just about the fact that listening to someone set goals and then make excuses over and over and over gets old and makes the prospect of being tethered to such a person for life very unpalatable.

My bias is not because of a talk track from an ex boyfriend, it’s from having a husband who is overweight, gets lectured by his doctor, says he wants to lose weight, and then stuffs his face and makes excuses about it. I don’t even care about his appearance, I just can’t stomach the lack of accountability. And yes it spills over into other areas of life also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, team DH, and I am a woman.

Someone who can’t set and reach goals because of lack of self-disciple and accountability is a TURN OFF.

Then wouldn’t you say that in a kind and mature way vs making snide comments? He sounds like he’s not ready to be in an adult relationship.

It’s clearly a pattern as evidenced by the comments “not this again?!”

If OP said “Screw you DH, I think I look great and eat healthy” that would be fine. There is nothing wrong with 5’2” 130.

It sounds like the issue is that DW thinks she should lose weight, claims as much, but then turns around and stuffs her face.
There is a reason being fat is considered low-class and this is it; it reflects lack of accountability, which is, again, a huge turn off and difficult not to lose respect and develop contempt, which clearly her DH has.

Let’s all sit here in awe of the sheer awfulness of this ^ woman. Dear god.

I know, right? It's like she downloaded sexist talking points from her first boyfriend and never got a clue.

This has nothing to do with sexism, sex, or gender. It’s just about the fact that listening to someone set goals and then make excuses over and over and over gets old and makes the prospect of being tethered to such a person for life very unpalatable.

My bias is not because of a talk track from an ex boyfriend, it’s from having a husband who is overweight, gets lectured by his doctor, says he wants to lose weight, and then stuffs his face and makes excuses about it. I don’t even care about his appearance, I just can’t stomach the lack of accountability. And yes it spills over into other areas of life also.

It is about sexism because of context but your extreme projection here plus your internalized bias is preventing you from seeing it.

You don’t like your husband, okay, fine. But it’s nuts that your distaste for him is somehow making you see words that aren’t there. Where did OP say she set a goal? Where did OP say she is making excuses for not meeting those supposed goals? This is all in your head. You really should leave OP out of your issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve mentioned it before how his comments come across as rude and unhelpful. Im 5’2, 130lbs. Im not overweight or trying to change my body, I know im not at an ideal weight for my size but im healthy that that’s the most important thing to me.

He constantly makes side commentary about what I eat. I had put a second tablespoon of parmesan and he snorted/laughed when I did this. I asked him what the problem was and he commented about how I must "really like parmesan." I asked him what the problem is and he said nothing.

I was eating wheat crackers earlier today about an hour before dinner and grabbed one more cracker from the bag, he said "are you sure you’re going to be hungry for dinner later?" I asked him why it’s his concern if/when I eat crackers and he went "oh god THIS again", like how dare I have the audacity to be offended by what be said.

I cook and do all the grocery shopping in our household. We eat healthy and have indulgences once in a while. He has some weird hangups about his own body.

Honestly I’m just sick of him and his snide commentary - if it’s not what I’m eating it’s what I’m buying or doing. He always has some kind of unkind comment.

Textbook VBA.

About being 5’2” and 130? No.

Imagine the corpulence of a woman believing OP posted a VBA.

Right?? Omg. I’m 5-2 and weighing 130 makes me a size 10. Nope nope nope.

Size 10, the horror!

Wow you have no muscle or really weird body measurements. Im 5'3 and 130 is 15-20lbs under my lowest adult weight and I had 20% body fat. I was a size 6/8 at 145-150.