Ever leave the DMV and see successful people who aren't this T20 college obsessed and wonder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Villanova is a very selective top 50 university and costs over $70,000 a year. For decades it’s been known as a smart and rich (Catholic) kid school; for kids that can’t get into Duke or Notre Dame, which frequently reject Eagle Scouts with perfect stats.

This honestly thread is really, really stupid.

Rich kids are almost always fairly successful. They have good genetics, money, connections, attend the best k-12, dress well, high social IQ, and tend to graduate from college on time. Add in the inheritance from parents and grandparents, and of course they never fall down a class rung.

It’s only a cope by middle class message board dwellers that all these rich kids are dumb, lazy, crash and burn in college, and turn into workshy druggies.

Nice cherry-picking. Is St. Joe’s for kids who were aspiring to Duke? Drexel? OP specifically said the people there were from diverse economic origins. Like my brother and his kids - he and his wife raised them in a middle-class part of Lower Bucks, went to Penn State or Millersville, and are enjoying a very nice life. Not ruling the world and maybe driving Toyotas instead of Teslas but doing fine. My other brother (not a college grad) raised his kids in a NY exurb - full of split and high ranches. His kids didn’t go to top 30 schools and are also doing well. Is it so hard to accept that you can have a nice home in a decent school district without having gone to Penn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Villanova is a very selective top 50 university and costs over $70,000 a year. For decades it’s been known as a smart and rich (Catholic) kid school; for kids that can’t get into Duke or Notre Dame, which frequently reject Eagle Scouts with perfect stats.

This honestly thread is really, really stupid.

Rich kids are almost always fairly successful. They have good genetics, money, connections, attend the best k-12, dress well, high social IQ, and tend to graduate from college on time. Add in the inheritance from parents and grandparents, and of course they never fall down a class rung.

It’s only a cope by middle class message board dwellers that all these rich kids are dumb, lazy, crash and burn in college, and turn into workshy druggies.

Nice cherry-picking. Is St. Joe’s for kids who were aspiring to Duke? Drexel? OP specifically said the people there were from diverse economic origins. Like my brother and his kids - he and his wife raised them in a middle-class part of Lower Bucks, went to Penn State or Millersville, and are enjoying a very nice life. Not ruling the world and maybe driving Toyotas instead of Teslas but doing fine. My other brother (not a college grad) raised his kids in a NY exurb - full of split and high ranches. His kids didn’t go to top 30 schools and are also doing well. Is it so hard to accept that you can have a nice home in a decent school district without having gone to Penn?

Do either of your siblings have a $1 million+ second home on the Jersey shore or anywhere else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up near Villanova and had an idyllic childhood without the obsession of DC, so know exactly what you're talking about. My husband grew up here, went to Big 3 and an Ivy League school. I begged for years to move to PA where we could live normally, but he would not consider it. For him, it's top 20 for our kids or they have failed. He actually said once, something along the lines of: "that way they never have to be embarrassed about telling anybody where they went to college. They can always hold their head high." I let him know that I have never once felt embarrassed about where I went and did he not realize that I am not remotely impressed by where he went either (I'm actually the main bread winner). It's insane. I hear you.

If you grew up in Villanova with an idyllic childhood, you already had money. So you don’t need a top school or a top job— you can live off your inheritance. People strive to get out of the lower class so they too can buy a home in Villanova and give their kids an idyllic childhood. It’s easier if your kids aren’t competing against these strivers, so please send them to St. Joe’s.

LOL!!!! I can live off my "inheritance"? Where do I find said inheritance? Please advise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Villanova is a very selective top 50 university and costs over $70,000 a year. For decades it’s been known as a smart and rich (Catholic) kid school; for kids that can’t get into Duke or Notre Dame, which frequently reject Eagle Scouts with perfect stats.

Honestly this thread is really, really stupid.

Rich kids are almost always fairly successful. They have good genetics, money, connections, attend the best k-12, dress well, high social IQ, and tend to graduate from college on time. Add in the inheritance from parents and grandparents, and of course they never fall down a class rung.

It’s only a cope by middle class message board dwellers that all these rich kids are dumb, lazy, crash and burn in college, and turn into workshy druggies.

Nice cherry-picking. Is St. Joe’s for kids who were aspiring to Duke? Drexel? OP specifically said the people there were from diverse economic origins. Like my brother and his kids - he and his wife raised them in a middle-class part of Lower Bucks, went to Penn State or Millersville, and are enjoying a very nice life. Not ruling the world and maybe driving Toyotas instead of Teslas but doing fine. My other brother (not a college grad) raised his kids in a NY exurb - full of split and high ranches. His kids didn’t go to top 30 schools and are also doing well. Is it so hard to accept that you can have a nice home in a decent school district without having gone to Penn?

Yes, you can find confident smart rich kids at every top 150 liberal arts college and private university. The country is full of smart well off UMC and rich families who do not give a damn about the Ivies. They don’t even apply. They don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Villanova is a very selective top 50 university and costs over $70,000 a year. For decades it’s been known as a smart and rich (Catholic) kid school; for kids that can’t get into Duke or Notre Dame, which frequently reject Eagle Scouts with perfect stats.

This honestly thread is really, really stupid.

Rich kids are almost always fairly successful. They have good genetics, money, connections, attend the best k-12, dress well, high social IQ, and tend to graduate from college on time. Add in the inheritance from parents and grandparents, and of course they never fall down a class rung.

It’s only a cope by middle class message board dwellers that all these rich kids are dumb, lazy, crash and burn in college, and turn into workshy druggies.

Nice cherry-picking. Is St. Joe’s for kids who were aspiring to Duke? Drexel? OP specifically said the people there were from diverse economic origins. Like my brother and his kids - he and his wife raised them in a middle-class part of Lower Bucks, went to Penn State or Millersville, and are enjoying a very nice life. Not ruling the world and maybe driving Toyotas instead of Teslas but doing fine. My other brother (not a college grad) raised his kids in a NY exurb - full of split and high ranches. His kids didn’t go to top 30 schools and are also doing well. Is it so hard to accept that you can have a nice home in a decent school district without having gone to Penn?

Do either of your siblings have a $1 million+ second home on the Jersey shore or anywhere else?

From cherry picking to straw man. You may have noted that OP said that some of the people that he or she met were renting, while others owned. My PA brother and his kids rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Villanova is a very selective top 50 university and costs over $70,000 a year. For decades it’s been known as a smart and rich (Catholic) kid school; for kids that can’t get into Duke or Notre Dame, which frequently reject Eagle Scouts with perfect stats.

Honestly this thread is really, really stupid.

Rich kids are almost always fairly successful. They have good genetics, money, connections, attend the best k-12, dress well, high social IQ, and tend to graduate from college on time. Add in the inheritance from parents and grandparents, and of course they never fall down a class rung.

It’s only a cope by middle class message board dwellers that all these rich kids are dumb, lazy, crash and burn in college, and turn into workshy druggies.

Nice cherry-picking. Is St. Joe’s for kids who were aspiring to Duke? Drexel? OP specifically said the people there were from diverse economic origins. Like my brother and his kids - he and his wife raised them in a middle-class part of Lower Bucks, went to Penn State or Millersville, and are enjoying a very nice life. Not ruling the world and maybe driving Toyotas instead of Teslas but doing fine. My other brother (not a college grad) raised his kids in a NY exurb - full of split and high ranches. His kids didn’t go to top 30 schools and are also doing well. Is it so hard to accept that you can have a nice home in a decent school district without having gone to Penn?

Yes, you can find confident smart rich kids at every top 150 liberal arts college and private university. The country is full of smart well off UMC and rich families who do not give a damn about the Ivies. They don’t even apply. They don’t care.

Not according many on DCUM. Life is split between the top 50 grads and the Walmart workers of the world.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why there are so many nasty posters here dumping on you, OP. I think the questions you are asking are interesting ones, and it is never too late to think about whether it is a good idea to buy into the striver mindset that’s so common around here (and in other cities with a lot of affluent, highly educated parents). My kids went/are going to W schools where there are plenty of intensely driven kids, and it can be hard to resist the pressure to jump right in to that rat race. I grew up in a MC, rural area with really terrible schools and struggled a lot my first year of college because I was so unprepared. I always wanted better for my kids. I have to work much harder at not contributing to the pressure cooker environment than my DH, who grew up in Bethesda. He absolutely felt the competition to always get the best grades and most impressive ECs was really damaging for him and his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Villanova is a very selective top 50 university and costs over $70,000 a year. For decades it’s been known as a smart and rich (Catholic) kid school; for kids that can’t get into Duke or Notre Dame, which frequently reject Eagle Scouts with perfect stats.

This honestly thread is really, really stupid.

Rich kids are almost always fairly successful. They have good genetics, money, connections, attend the best k-12, dress well, high social IQ, and tend to graduate from college on time. Add in the inheritance from parents and grandparents, and of course they never fall down a class rung.

It’s only a cope by middle class message board dwellers that all these rich kids are dumb, lazy, crash and burn in college, and turn into workshy druggies.

Nice cherry-picking. Is St. Joe’s for kids who were aspiring to Duke? Drexel? OP specifically said the people there were from diverse economic origins. Like my brother and his kids - he and his wife raised them in a middle-class part of Lower Bucks, went to Penn State or Millersville, and are enjoying a very nice life. Not ruling the world and maybe driving Toyotas instead of Teslas but doing fine. My other brother (not a college grad) raised his kids in a NY exurb - full of split and high ranches. His kids didn’t go to top 30 schools and are also doing well. Is it so hard to accept that you can have a nice home in a decent school district without having gone to Penn?

Do either of your siblings have a $1 million+ second home on the Jersey shore or anywhere else?

From cherry picking to straw man. You may have noted that OP said that some of the people that he or she met were renting, while others owned. My PA brother and his kids rent.

Ok, fine. Yes, I agree -- you don't have to go to a top 20 to rent a place in Ocean City, New Jersey.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you honestly think the DC area is the only place obsessed with kids going to top colleges? I grew up in Westchester County, NY and NYC. The obsession is super strong in both places.

[Anonymous]

I’m a successful DC resident who will be very pleased indeed if my kid even wants to go to college. He’s a sweetheart but not the sharpest. He will find his way but no way am l going to pressure him and I’m not disappointed that he won’t be following in my education and career footsteps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why there are so many nasty posters here dumping on you, OP. I think the questions you are asking are interesting ones, and it is never too late to think about whether it is a good idea to buy into the striver mindset that’s so common around here (and in other cities with a lot of affluent, highly educated parents). My kids went/are going to W schools where there are plenty of intensely driven kids, and it can be hard to resist the pressure to jump right in to that rat race. I grew up in a MC, rural area with really terrible schools and struggled a lot my first year of college because I was so unprepared. I always wanted better for my kids. I have to work much harder at not contributing to the pressure cooker environment than my DH, who grew up in Bethesda. He absolutely felt the competition to always get the best grades and most impressive ECs was really damaging for him and his friends.

Are you equal dual income households, I’m guessing that elite education helped advance your career more than Ohio State?

I had similar college experience and a big goal is to prepare my kids over the 12 years of schooling they have with me, so those 4 years of college are not shocking.

Most MC kids id they don’t stretch, they won’t be enjoying beach house in OCNJ or getting into Medical school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why there are so many nasty posters here dumping on you, OP. I think the questions you are asking are interesting ones, and it is never too late to think about whether it is a good idea to buy into the striver mindset that’s so common around here (and in other cities with a lot of affluent, highly educated parents). My kids went/are going to W schools where there are plenty of intensely driven kids, and it can be hard to resist the pressure to jump right in to that rat race. I grew up in a MC, rural area with really terrible schools and struggled a lot my first year of college because I was so unprepared. I always wanted better for my kids. I have to work much harder at not contributing to the pressure cooker environment than my DH, who grew up in Bethesda. He absolutely felt the competition to always get the best grades and most impressive ECs was really damaging for him and his friends.

Are you equal dual income households, I’m guessing that elite education helped advance your career more than Ohio State?

I had similar college experience and a big goal is to prepare my kids over the 12 years of schooling they have with me, so those 4 years of college are not shocking.

Most MC kids id they don’t stretch, they won’t be enjoying beach house in OCNJ or getting into Medical school.

which is...fine? I don't have a medical degree, or a beach house, and I am still very happy with the way my life has turned out. It's not THINGS that make you happy.

[Anonymous]

I don't even know what OP is talking about... slumming at the South Jersey shore for the summer, isn't that where Snooki and Pauly D hang out? How do you know the CV of the people laying on the beach next to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I grew up on one of the nicest South Jersey shore towns, probably very close to where you are spending the summer, and I still have family there. I know exactly the kind of people you see around you, and here’s the thing: your sample is skewed. There are rich people everywhere and who send their kids to every school, and what you’re seeing are the rich people from Philly who went to and are sending their kids to Big Five schools. Not everyone who goes to those schools ends up as rich as the ones you are seeing. Not everyone from Philly has a house at the shore either.

There are plenty of rich people in the DC area who didn’t go to top 20 colleges either.

+1

I grew up near there and there were parents obsessed with T20 schools back in the 80s. Granted it was much easier to get it back then, but it was a given that some kids were going to attend certain schools. We had a bunch head to Ivy League schools.

Many of my NY/Boston friends have an even more intense attitude to college.

The DC area is just like other affluent areas around the US.

I’m the poster who is calling the OP out on this, and I agree with you. I just wanted to add that, while there are plenty of big Catholic families in the Philly area who are not obsessed with the Ivies, it’s only because they don’t have to be. They’re rich and connected and their kids are going to be fine going to a Big Five school. They will be taken care of.

Beach houses in towns like Avalon and Stone Harbor go for $2 million to $10 million plus. They’re much more expensive than the Delaware and Maryland beaches. People own them as second homes, and many are not rented out. These are seriously rich people.

So much for OP’s “regular world.”

OP here. I'm not in Avalon or Stone Harbor but am in OCNJ. Sure, there is money here but you are taking "Jersey Shore" and immediately assuming I mean the wealthiest shores towns in NJ.

Also, i said it above but will reiterate, some of these families I am speaking of come from money but most do not. Some are Catholic but some are not.
Believe what you wish. I am not creating a narrative out of thin air to stir the pot.
There are many kids who achieve first-generation success (as measured by a high level job, high quality of life) without having attended one of the top 50 universities.
I know this runs contrary to the DCUM narrative. But it should make us all feel BETTER! Not worse. Our kids (if they work hard) will be OKAY regardless of where they attend college. I know most of us know this (in theory) but the stress to
achieve admission at one school or another is high around the DMV. At the Big3 (which I mentioned because its my world here and a unique world at that) it can be stifling.

This is fascinating to me that you didn't kind of already know all of this. That you really thought the only way to "a good life" was Big3/Top 20. I grew up in a second-tier working class city and stumbled my way into an Ivy somehow with zero foresight or planning or involvement from my parents. I have a good career. My spouse went to an okay (at best) college and is wildly successful. So many people where I grew up lead very happy and productive lives and are incredibly connected to their extended family and communities. I am in touch with a wide network of people from my Ivy 30 years later and plenty of people are really just average. It's not some golden ticket to "the good life". I think getting a college degree as a baseline is pretty important to get access to a lot of types of jobs starting out. After that? So many other variables at play. It's really not worth gunning for with intensity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even know what OP is talking about... slumming at the South Jersey shore for the summer, isn't that where Snooki and Pauly D hang out? How do you know the CV of the people laying on the beach next to you?

You're clueless. They weren't in South Jersey.